Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Navigating the Wild World of Online Dating


Be careful, friends! As fun as dating apps or online dating can be, and as rewarding as it can be to find new opportunities to meet “the one,” there are some important things you need to know for dating app success. Sharpen your matchmaking skills with some of these easy tips!


Tip 1: Looks do matter, but not the way you think! I’m not saying you need to be a perfect 10, but you should try to bring out your best features. Take a flattering, natural photo for your profile. Dress neatly, with clothes that are flattering and in good condition. (If you’re strapped for cash or unsure about ideas, decide on an easy casual date uniform — such as a good pair of jeans and a neutral colored top — keep it clean and you can’t go wrong!  Make sure your body is clean and wearing deodorant. Also, don’t forget to brush your teeth and pop a breath mint before the crucial moment.


Tip 2: Compliment your date! You’ve taken the trouble to make a good impression. Be sure to tell your date that they look nice, too. If you’re just talking online, you can also compliment their jokes or cool subjects that they discuss.


Tip 3: Positive vibes only. Be sure to talk about light subjects at first. Share good news, be attentive and supportive of the other person’s news as well. Be cheerful. Make lemonade out of the lemons. Make sure your friend is comfortable by not being racist, inappropriate, or unkind. Unless, of course, that’s who you really are (in which case I’d recommend getting a bit of help with that).


These are the basics, but they’ll help you get the ball rolling. Do you have any tips for our readers? Feel free to share! 

Sunday, May 16, 2021

How to Help Yourself Heal Emotionally

with a hand pressed up against a rainy window, she sighs...

A lot of people don’t understand why they can sometimes feel anxious, depressed, tired, lonely, sad, we’re just generally lacking the coping skills to deal with life when things get real.


There are so many reasons why we struggle with our mental health. Everything from genetics to brain chemistry to traumatic incidents that shape the way our brains function – all of these things are factors in how our psyches function.


Self healing is really just self soothing. Most of us learn how to self soothe when we are in our infancy. We might feel lonely or stressed, we miss our parents, and we cry for them. In a normal scenario, even a perfect one, parents can’t always be there to kiss our boo-boos. So, we learn how to soothe ourselves, to cure our own ills, to use our own logic and instinct for healing.


It’s never too late to learn how! Here’s a quick into to what has worked for me and those that I’ve coached. Enjoy!


https://anchor.fm/questuary/episodes/A-Beginners-Guide-to-the-Self-Healing-Process-emle4d

Thursday, April 15, 2021

Hit It and Quit It? The Real Reason Your Man Isn’t Calling Back After Sex

 Sometimes, an undeniable spark will result in a fun flirty chase. But, after weeks or months of playing hard to get, you’ve finally taken it to the next level. But wait — why’s he leaving?




It’s hard to get why men are so invested in you before sex, but withdrawn after? Aside from the chemical components which we’ve discussed earlier this year, and the guilty projecting behavior, there’s another important factor at play.


Basically, some people - male and female - will take what’s offered and move right on. They will take advantage of the giving nature of someone else, and have no chance to give anything back.


People tend to fall in love when they feel useful and needed. If your mate seems like a nice person otherwise, give them a chance to give to you. Make that connection take it to another level.


If they’re not open to contact after this, then they’re probably too selfish to bother with anyway. But don’t forget the lesson — love and connection grows with giving and receiving. Allow others the chance to give. It feels good for a reason, after all.

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

“ Stop being a perfectionist.”


My Twitter friend, @bigdaddyvinz, has laid down some really useful wisdom this month. Here’s what his eye-opening thread says:

Stop being a perfectionist.

The root of procrastination for most people ain't laziness, it's anxiety.


I know your anxiety will tell you the worst case scenario. It’s a damn liar.


If you're a procrastinator, you will find every excuse not to do what u need to do. But here's an advice: DO IT FIRST, I call it reverse procrastination.


Fill your heart & mind with positive things.

Music helps alot. stand up, put on your favorite songs and watch how you get the job done fast.


Challenge yourself.

Reward yourself after a job well done.

The best way to get something done is to begin.


Don't let procrastination take over your life. Be brave and take risks, your life is happening now.


It might feel like fun but trust me procrastination is the enemy of success.


Give yourself pep talks and encouraging words like:

- I can do this 

- I'm not going to procrastinate today 

- I am capable 

- I am strong enough 

- I am brave 

- I refuse to let negative thoughts control Me



I hope this thread made sense to every procrastinator out there,I hope this thread helps and motivate you stop ❤️



Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Learning How to Self-Heal Emotionally




As adversity knocks us down, we develop resilience to get back up and keep fighting.


However, some parts of emotional healing can be difficult for those of us who are experiencing especially different challenges  or transitional periods Everyone needs a self-healing process. Having a plan for soothing yourself when things can tough, can help improve your quality of life.


Listen to some great tips for spiritual self-healing here on SpiritClique. My advice has helped thousands of people, and it’ll help you too! 

Monday, February 15, 2021

We Spent a Night Together, But He Didn’t Call Me Back. Why?

Have you ever been deeply in love with someone, spend a whirlwind of a few days with them... only to be iced out or ghosted completely? Why the hell do men do that?


One answer might be surprising: our post-coital emotions and behavior are influenced by body chemistry.




After sex, women tend to experience higher levels of the hormone oxytocin, which is released steadily from physical touch. The fastest way to receive it is skin to skin contact, and engaging in physical intimacy will cause a woman’s body to create even more of it.


At the same time, a man’s testosterone levels plummet post-sex, especially during the act of post-coital cuddling, as their oxytocin raises. It makes sense, considering the testosterone producers running wild during arousal and intercourse. Once his hormone levels crash, his body may begin craving another hit to slake its need for more supply. So he may be, without realizing it, disengaging to go do something manly and productive.

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Try These Easy Meditation Techniques for Kids

Who says that meditation is only for adults? Today, even children can do meditation. Times are changing at a very fast pace. Even children are prone to stress and depression. They are too young to take many medications, and one great alternative is to find an appropriate meditation method for your child.

Through a doctor's visit, your child's problem can be identified. Some doctors will readily express that your child is a good candidate for meditation. But since they are still too young to do meditation on their own, you must look for a guided meditation that will suit your child.

Children are easily discouraged of lengthy sessions, and that is why almost all of the meditation courses offered for children are only for a day. If you're child is 8 to 12 years old, it's quite easy to find an organization or institution that offer such courses on meditation. Try to do a search online and see if you can find one near your locality. You can also ask friends and relatives if they know of a certain meditation course offered exclusively for children. Your child is a precious gift from God. So it is very important to aid him or her in their meditation.

There are several meditation techniques that you can choose from, but of all the techniques, it is best to choose the Anapana meditation. Why, you might ask; well, children are easily taught of this particular technique. Anapana meditation is a mental purification process that is achieved by self-observation. Children are very observant, so this is the right time to mentally train your child.

Anapana meditation is just the very first step in Vipassana meditation practice. This involves the observation of your natural respiration, the inhalation and exhalation. This step can help your child in mind concentration. Aside from that, this technique can also calm your child, help your child understand his self better, and how your child's mind works. Your child can develop inner strength to help him in choosing the appropriate and right actions over the wrong ones. Anapana meditation can provide your child with the right tool to face up to anxieties, fears, and childhood pressures.

You can greatly expect that your child will have a hearty interest in meditation and self introspection. This can also help in opening a new dimension in their life that will be of great value in the future and may be one that they can use for as long as they live.

Your child will truly become a much better person. Through Anapana meditation, your child's mind will be stronger, and he/she will avoid saying or doing things that are harmful and hurtful to other people. If your child possesses mind's strength, then he or she will be more peaceful and will feel happier.

Make sure that your child follows all the instructions given on the duration of the course. There are also certain codes of conduct that your child has to follow. Anapana meditation is a very good foundation for your child. What's good about this technique is that it also the entails participation of the family. You must provide proper support for your child so that he/she can learn easily. It would be best to accompany your child through the duration of the course.

Friday, August 30, 2019

Eating Naturally for Optimal Beauty

We've all heard the old adage, "You are what you eat." But what about the connection between your food and your face?



Most articles about nutrition focus on the role of your diet in maintaining optimum internal health and warding off disease. For example, many articles talk about how the antioxidants found in fruits and vegetables can fight free radical damage to your immune cells, your organs and your DNA.

Well guess what? The same phytochemicals, vitamins, nutrients and minerals that keep your insides in the pink are equally essential for clear skin, bright smiles, strong nails and clear eyes. If you want to look your absolute gorgeous best, keep these diet guidelines in mind:

* Antioxidants: Found in abundance in colorful fruits and vegetables, these nutrients help combat signs of aging caused by the oxidation - the rust, if you will, of our cells. Beauty foods that are potent sources of antioxidants include: pomegranates, prunes, concord grape juice, blueberries, blackberries, purple cabbage, kale, brussels sprouts, dried plums, kiwis, raspberries, strawberries, raw spinach, oranges, apples and watercress.

* Essential fatty acids: Certain polyunsaturated oils are called "essential" because they must be included in our diet. EFAs, like omega-3 and omega-6, may reduce inflammation that can clog skin and lead to wrinkles. Sources include seafood - such as salmon, sardines, trout and flounder - as well as almonds, walnuts and flaxseed.

* Avoid simple carbs: Some research suggests the insulin spike caused by simple carbohydrates, such as bread, pasta and sweets, may trigger a series of metabolic reactions that can lead to breakouts.

* Maximize water, moderate alcohol: Water, and lots of it, will help keep your skin hydrated, while alcohol in excess of one 4-ounce drink a day can dry it out. Also, some dermatologists say alcohol's dilation of fragile facial capillaries can cause and exacerbate rosacea.

* Healthy fat: While it's always important to minimize artery-clogging saturated fat, don't shy away from healthy monounsaturated fats, like olive oil and other liquid, plant-based oils that keep skin emulsified.

* Vitamin C: Make sure to also feed your face with vitamin C to help maintain collagen, the most important component of connective tissue contributing to the underlying foundation of your skin. The best sources of vitamin C includes citrus fruits and juices, broccoli, cauliflower, cantaloupe, strawberries, tomatoes, red peppers and green peas.

* Weight-loss bonus: Pound for pound, fruits and vegetables have fewer calories than other food groups. Plus, they have plenty of fiber, so they'll help you feel full. Such a fruit-and-vegetable-rich diet helps ward off cravings by ensuring the body gets the full spectrum of nutrients, minerals, vitamins and phytochemicals it needs to function.

Data from the National Weight Control Registry, which maintains records on more than 3,000 individuals who have had success keeping off a minimum of 30 pounds, suggests that the winning diet for long-term weight loss is a low-fat, complex-carb diet rich in fruits and vegetables.

This data was recently reinforced by an international study, conducted by Northwestern University, assessing the diets of more than 4,000 people in the United States, United Kingdom, Japan and China. The study found that, without exception, a diet high in complex carbohydrates, fiber and vegetable protein was associated with low body-mass index.

The bottom line is that there's nothing more beautiful than vibrant good health, and there's nothing healthier than a regime that includes plenty of exercise, rest, water, lean proteins, and an abundance of fruits and vegetables.

Jennifer Grossman is the director of the Dole Nutrition Institute. - NU

Friday, August 23, 2019

Can Addictions Be Cured with Hypnosis?

An addiction can take control of a person's life. For example a successful man who is an alcoholic can lose everything including his business, family and reputation because of the devastating affects of his alcohol addiction. Alcohol is just one of many debilitating addictions that can affect our lives. Others include tobacco, prescription medication, food, recreational drugs or even sex. When a person is under the power of an addiction, that addiction controls their work relationships, personal relationships and so much more.

A person that is addicted to something is hindering and limiting their life. To live without addiction is to experience life as it should be, as we are born. There are several reasons why a person may become addicted to something. Some of the reasons include poor self esteem, a traumatic experience, stress or simple old bad judgment. If you are addicted to something, I am sure you have tried to regain control of your life and end the vicious cycle. For some people this is easy, but for many others, it's a desperate fight that seems to go on and on.


Hypnosis is an effective way to conquer addiction. The process of hypnosis is safe, gentle and extremely rewarding. Hypnosis works on a subconscious level. While a person is undergoing hypnosis they are induced into a deep state of relaxation. The subconscious mind is highly receptive to new perspectives and ideas during this sate of deep relation. The subconscious mind will receive positive suggestions that have an individual visualize a life without addiction. During the visualization process the individual is able to ìfeelî how great a life without addiction is and this can be extremely profound.

While an individual is in the process of hypnosis the individual is given encouragement, motivation, confidence building statements and a definite plant to conquer addiction. The positive suggestions that the subconscious mind receives causes the individual to change their negative behavior and thinking patterns. It is because of this change that a person is able to conquer their addiction.

Hypnosis alleviates both stress and anxiety, calming the nerves, the mind and the whole body. People who have undergone hypnosis have greater confidence and increased self esteem. If you want to conquer your addiction and turn your goals into reality I recommend, as a practicing hypnotherapist, that you seek out the services of a qualified hypnotherapist in your area. Hypnosis can help you to conquer your addiction and live a happier, healthier and more rewarding life.

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Hypnosis: Fact or Fiction?



The Sleeping Prophet Edgar Cayce would command himself to engage in out-of-body experiences and near-death experiences through self-hypnosis.




Under a trance state, he would give readings and diagnoses to people he has never met. His followers documented almost 14,000 journeys unto the spirit realm, made through his subconscious mind or what Cayce referred to as the soul.




Sensational historian David Lewis revealed that Adolf Hitler was once hypnotized and this may have been the root of the kind of life he has led.




Lewis claimed that in 1918, Hitler believed he has gone completely blind despite diagnoses of doctors that nothing is wrong with his eyes. Through hypnosis, a doctor suggested to Hitler that indeed, he has lost his eyesight but through will power he can make himself see again. Thats because God made him an exceptional person, the good doctor added. Since then, Lewis said, the hypnosis marked Hitler so much that he took life believing he was exceptional, and the rest, as they say, is history.




Robert F. Kennedys assassin was under the influence of a mastermind through hypnotism during the assassination, and was said to have shown robotic, trance-like movements and repeated RFK must die over and over again during police interrogation.




Have you read about clairvoyants reaching into other dimensions to get rare or secret information? How about mediums meddling with the underworld and calling the dead? Hypnosis stories are they for real?




Yes and No.




Yes, hypnotism really has been used as part of the treatment and therapy of various physical and psychological conditions. Through its ability to tap into the subconscious and to intensify focus and concentration, hypnosis can help you be more attuned with your intellectual and emotional capacity; thus helping you modify your habits and behaviors, or wield more control over the way you think and analyze.




But no, it is not the cure-all for your problems. It is not proven to be effective every time, as often claimed. The United States general surgeon reports there is insufficient evidence to support hypnosis as a treatment for smoking cessation. Again, the effectiveness of hypnotism depends on each and every different case it is being used for.




Indeed, it will not hurt to try hypnotism; but dont rely on it too much either. It may help you and may change your life forever. It may also work for you for an allotted period only. Or it may not and you may walk out of another hypnotism session unchanged and still be the same old self. Your results will depend on a lot of other factors aside from hypnosis, such as determination, motivation, and will power. Your destiny is still in your own hands.

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Ashley Cole is a Blogger to Watch!

Ashley Cole bravely takes risks to
entertain and teach his readers. 
On any typical Monday morning, the average citizen of the world rolls out of bed and prepares for another boring start to a run-of-the-mill week. A quick glance at any news headlines will show a lot of the same happenings, only with different headlines designed to capture each reader’s attention. Regardless of the news source, each and everyone of these people have something in common: they are overwhelmed. Bad news seems to be the most sensational topic on any newspaper page in modern times.

Blogger Ashley Cole is on a one-man mission to change that boring narrative. He takes risks with his writing, and it shows. Armed with a sharp wit, a light heart, and a sparkling sense of humor, Ashley is taking the blogging world by storm. His articles are amusing, but always filled with interesting insights about the human condition, and how we can all enjoy life to the fullest as we strive to be our best selves.

Ashley uses intelligence and humor to motivate his readers while educating them as well. His articles aren’t just catchy headlines; there’s a heart of gold in every one. “They’re fun, light reads with hidden life lessons and inspiration,” he explains of his articles.

With the launch of Ashley’s new project, website ItsAshleyCole.com, he’s passing his wisdom and wit along to all readers who are interested in coming along for the ride. Check out his website, but be warned, your laughter may cause a distraction for those around you. Enjoy it responsibly!

Friday, June 10, 2016

Affirmation Definition: What Are Affirmations, And How Can We Use Them?

The term “affirmation” can sound so magical, so esoteric.  Is it an incantation?  A chant?  A mantra?  I suppose if that’s what you want it to be, it can be.  However, it needn’t be shrouded in such mystery.  In the simplest of terms, an affirmation is a simple phrase, sentence, a prayer, or even just a word that you can think or speak out loud in order to gain personal power.  As its name implies, an affirmation affirms — it makes things happen, turns a neutral or negative thought or feeling into something more positive.

Affirmations, while simple, can have an immense amount of power!  They can transform your relationship with yourself, and with others.  They can enable you to view the world differently.  Affirmations can aid in comforting you during times of fear or distress, and can even help you to attract positive people and situations in your life.  In short, affirmation power can open up your entire being, and make you, yourself, become a wellspring of positivity for yourself — and source of positive energy for the universe through which to work its wonders.

The best part about affirmations is that anyone can use them — instantly!  They are free, they are fast, and they require nothing more than faith and conviction.  There are many places to find affirmations online, but you can also create your own as well, to fit whatever situation you need.

Remember that words have power.  Thoughts create action.  Affirmations can bridge the gap between thought and deed, in order to empower you to be your very best self so that you may improve your own life.  They can help you see new opportunities where none existed before.  They can open your heart and soul to new experiences, so that you can enjoy all that life has to offer.  They can also uplift you, comfort you, and enable you to heal yourself spiritually — so that you can continue to be your very best.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Let Life Bloom: Easy Ways to Be Positive Every Day

Have you ever wanted to be more positive?  Of course you have!

I am not talking about those imaginary people who wake up every morning with perfect hair, who sing at the sun and allow birds to fly in and chirp a happy morning tune to begin each day.  Those people only exist in fairy tales!

But we do all have our own "emotional baseline" -- some people tend to be generally happier and more positive than others.  The ups and downs may be affected by situations around us, or even those of our own choosing.  Even though it's not possible -- or healthy -- to be 100% positive during every waking second of our lives, there are ways that we can each manage those emotional baselines in order to become happier and more productive.

Instead of waking up with those chirping birds, try to avoid things that tweet -- including social media -- in that first hour or two of your day.  As an alternative, strive instead for quieter and less distracting ways to wake up in the mornings.  Eat a healthy breakfast, meditate, and get ready for your day on your own terms.  Immediately jumping on your phone, especially diving into social media platforms such as Facebook or Twitter -- as much fun as they may be -- can really "harsh your mellow" and put you in a more distracted, more negative frame of mind, even before you've gotten out of bed!  Tend to your own body's needs before picking up that smart phone.

Keeping your work and living spaces free of clutter can also help to keep your mindset positive.  I don't know about the rest of the world, but I can get downright panicky when I lose something.  Life is so much easier when my stuff is organized.  However, I am not always the most organized human being -- in fact, I'm still working on that!  I probably always will be.  But I do know that cutting my clutter has helped me to discover what is most important in my life, and it's also enabled me to find it a little easier.  When you minimize, you can prioritize, which can in turn make the pacing of your life slower, easier, happier.

Spending time around children and animals can help too.  See the world through the lens of someone a bit simpler than you.  Kids are naturally imaginative and intuitive, without all of the complications that adults sometimes like to throw into things.  Animals, too.  There is nothing like going on an adventure with your favorite kid, or taking your dog for a walk -- watch how they notice and enjoy all of the little things that we tend to miss!  If you don't have either of these in your life, borrow some from a friend.

Remember to take notice of those little things in life.  Our lives are made up of small moments, and there's lots to love in each one.  Take care of yourself, take care of others, and let others care for you as well!

Monday, February 22, 2016

How to Save Your Marriage

As individuals, we really should learn to be happy with ourselves.  But we’re human; we’re wired to want and need companionship.  When we enter into a good relationship, the world can be a brighter and more beautiful place.  But when we’re part of a good relationship that sours over time, things can go dark and ugly pretty quickly.  Any relationship may begin happily and with the best of intentions, but as things go along, misunderstandings may arise due to any number of factors – ego, personal issues, or external situations that take their toll on the relationship.  When things come to a breaking point, one or both parties in a couple may decide that the relationship has run its course.

Divorce or separation can affect both the social and personal aspects of each person involved. It may be surprising to know that even when problems do come up, the marriage does not need to end. Most issues can be addressed and managed with some hard work and dedication. I have coached and counseled many people with relationship problems, and here are five of my favorite pieces of advice for couples with fractured relationships…

1. Understand and agree the problems exist. We’re not talking about giving or receiving blame and fault at this stage of the game; let’s just focus on the idea that there are problems, and things need to change.  Too many people will live in denial all the way up until the last possible second – and by then, it's often too late. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Try to identify what the issues are in your relationship so that you can make an effort to improve them. Denial is not your friend.  Instead of retreating, practice acceptance.  With acceptance comes the ability to prepare for the challenges you'll be facing.

2.  Communicate without fear or judgement.  Author George R.R. Martin is quoted as saying “The unseen enemy is always the most fearsome." When it comes to marriages good or bad, this concept is always true. Whether there are known and concrete problems, or things just "seem off” in your relationship, there is no better solution then to start a dialogue. Give your spouse many chances to open up and try to get his or her perspective.  Even if your partner is unwilling to discuss problems with you, persevere. However, know that sooner or later they will need to start opening up if they wish to save the marriage too. In the meantime, watch and listen carefully for cues and clues.  And don't forget to be transparent in your own feelings.

3. Never underestimate the importance of passion. Problem-solving should be your biggest priority, but reigniting that flame of passion that you once shared is also one of the most important parts in salvaging a damaged relationship. This does not mean that you need to force yourself to have lots of insincere sex or to fake orgasms. What it does mean, though, is that you need to reconnect in fundamental ways. Remember what attracted you most to your partner when your relationship was young. Encourage your partner to share what attracted them to you as well.  We may have a few extra gray hairs on our heads and a few more pounds beneath our belts, but essentially, you are still that lovable "you" that once took their breath away. Strive to relive those moments and feelings.

4. Seek help. Marriage counselors, coaches and therapists are all fabulous resources in the quest for saving a marriage that is mostly good. There is nothing wrong with seeking help and learning the tools that you need in order to mend something that needs some reinforcement.  Getting help is a sign of strength, never of weakness.

5. The most important tip that I can give you is to have patience. You did not get into this mess overnight, and you won't get out of it overnight either. Be consistent as well as persistent. If you love your spouse, and you feel that your marriage is worth saving, work together in order to make that slow and steady effort.  Give it time.

My bonus tip for you is that while it only takes one person to want to end a relationship, it takes both people to want to save it. At the end of the day, it truly doesn't matter whose fault it is that things aren't perfect, who did what, or why it happened.  Both people need to be on board with repairing the relationship, and both people have work to do in order to make that happen. There will be times when walking away is the only option; but until or unless your sure that it is, it's not too late to try turning the tide.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Happiness in Communing with Nature

Our fast-paced world can really burn us out quickly.  With technology enabling us to communicate faster and easier than ever before, "alone time" is quickly becoming a concept of the past.  It can be wonderful to feel connected, but it can also be daunting and draining as well.  How can we get back to basics and quiet the multitudes of voices that surround us?

The answer may be simpler than you think.  Try communing with nature!

Immersing yourself in nature doesn't need to be an elaborately planned scenario.  Try taking a walk.  Even in an urban area, you're going to have opportunities to see animals and plants -- even if it's just squirrels in your local park, or the shade of a tree planted by the sidewalk of a busy road.  Find a place to sit and breathe the air.  Observe the weather -- is it sunny out?  What time of day is it?  Perhaps you can enjoy the clouds during the daytime, or try to see stars at night.

If that's too difficult, or your access to nature is limited, try simply gazing out your window at the sky.  Alternatively, you can bring natural elements inside by planting flowers, herbs, or other small plants indoors. 

Whatever way you decide to commune with nature, know that it will rejuvenate your mind and spirit when you're able to let go and focus on the world around you.  Our planet is filled with beautiful things, so take the time to enjoy!

Friday, January 1, 2016

Read for Your Happiness!

There's a whole world in each and every book!  To me, reading is like meditation.  It can quiet the mind, activate the imagination, reduce stress, and force your focus elsewhere.  Reading is such a wonderful way to fill your head and relax your body all at the same time.

You needn't choose to read anything lofty, or super cerebral -- it's nice if you like that, and by all means choose it if you want to -- but even something easy and light can provide the benefits of reading.  Grab your tablet, your dusty copy of War and Peace, or even the fun, short fashion magazine that brings a smile on your face and inspiration to your heart.

No matter what you choose to read, reading leads to learning -- which reads a richer and fuller life!

Monday, August 17, 2015

Brainstorm Pro: A Blogger's Best Friend!

By now, most of you know very well about the type of person I am.  I blog, I write books, and I'm all over social media sharing helpful tips and little bits of information to make life a little easier and a lot more fun.  My blog is often a platform for me to share information and thoughts with fellow creative people.  So, when I come across a valuable resource, I love to let you all in on my discoveries!

One of the things that really bugs me at times is writer's block -- and in my line of work, where it's "publish or perish," that can really be some cause for concern.  A lot of times, my brain is so packed with ideas… but it's so hard to actually get them onto the page!  Even us wordsmiths can sometimes have trouble finding the right words for our craft.  (I visit Thesaurus.com more times during a writing session that I care to admit!)

Enter the fantastically helpful software, "Brainstorm Pro," by my friend Jesse Gilbert.  When you're searching for just the right word, simply use Brainstorm Pro to help point you in the right direction.  This tool is specifically designed to help word lovers like me to find just what we need quickly, with no drama, no waiting for web pages to load, and no ambiguity.  Brainstorm Pro enables me to keep my writing filled with that new-pronoun smell, and that factory-fresh adjective flavor that all writers crave.


Currently, this helpful tool is available for the Windows & MS Word platform, but a Mac version is coming soon.  I can't wait!  Check it out here for a free download and start brainstorming!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

How to Deal with Negative People in 3 Easy Steps!

Everyone has to deal with negativity from time to time.  It's just part of life.  No matter what we do, who we are, or how we try -- at one point or another, we will all cross paths with someone who is negative.  It could be someone with whom you work, someone in your family, or even a friend that you truly care about:  the person may be pe

Step 1:  Consider the possibility of cutting them loose.  It might be a harsh choice, but if the bad outweighs the good that these people bring to your life, it may be time for an act of self-care by freeing yourself from the negativity of someone who is dragging you down.  If the negative person is draining your energy, causing you to dread scenarios where you know you'll need to deal with them, or putting you and others down, consider cutting the cord.  It needn't be dramatic or harsh, and it might be difficult as well.  But sometimes, you need to make your own sanity and wellbeing a priority!

Step 2:  Find ways to cope with their negativity.  There are probably a few emotional vampires that you can eliminate from your life entirely.  But there may be others, such as relatives that you have to see along with the ones you really want to see, or co-workers over whom you have no control, that you really need to interact with occasionally whether you want to or not.  Even if you don't have a choice in the matter of dealing with them, you can choose HOW to deal with them.  And that can actually make all the difference!  Try to accept them the way that they are.  Understand that a negative person is probably a miserable person, and remember that 90% of what they're griping about is definitely not personal.  This is just who they are, and their behavior is about them -- not you.  Take it all with a grain of salt and allow the whining to roll off of your back.  When you do have to deal with them, stay positive and upbeat; even negative people want to be treated with friendliness, and you might be surprised at how some of them can really be disarmed by a warm smile or a light friendly conversation.  Small talk can also serve as your barrier to some of the deeper complaints that they wish to share with others.  This really does work in many scenarios, so try it!

Step 3:  Seek positivity within their negativity.  While this might seem like a major oxymoron, it's actually not.  Many times, negative people are just unhappy souls who use their pessimism as a protective barrier to keep pain and rejection from penetrating their thin skins and wounding them.  It's also very possible that those with whom you are close, are also being negative or critical in an attempt to shield you from some danger or trouble that they perceive.  To them, their thoughts are real and their comments are used to defend and protect.  Analyze the situation and try to determine if the negative person is a downer about every subject in the world, or if they're especially prickly about only certain topics.  Remember that this need to protect, while strange, may also bring out some valid points for you to consider.  Those who are good at seeing potential problems and voicing those issues to you are actually trying to be helpful.  It might be that they care about you, or want what's best for everyone.  Whether their negative feelings have weight or not, seeing it from this perspective can help you to develop more tolerance as you understand better where it comes from.

Whether the intentions behind your "Debbie Downer" are positive or negative, it's important to understand that there's often a lot more going on than the surface of the situation shows.  If you're unable to remove the negative person from your life, ask yourself why they must stay.  And then, in order to remain positive yourself, use your optimism and positivity as tools to deal with the negative energy and words coming from this person.  At the end of the day, the only person that you have control over is yourself -- make the most of what you've got!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Signs & Signals of a False Twin Flame

We're all looking for our soulmate, also known as a twin flame.  There are so many discussions about it online, in books, movies, and personal conversations.  Because of this, there is often a lot of confusion among people as to whether or not the "twin flame" that they're currently involved with is their true soulmate… as opposed to the false "twin flame."

Because our hopes and dreams hinge frequently on finding this person, we may sometimes come across people who seem too good to be true… false twin flames.  Here are some signs that, perhaps, the person who seems like they might be a true twin flame, is actually a false one.

Just as our twin flame has many similarities to us, so too will the false twin flame.  On a superficial level, this person may seem to be rather similar -- and sometimes, very similar, or complimentary to us.  They may share similar goals, backgrounds, values, or personal tastes.  However, with a false twin flame, the similarities may end there.

You true soulmate, or any person who loves you, will naturally want to be supportive of positive changes within your life.  The hallmark of a false twin flame is of duplicitousness.  If this person's behavior does not correspond to the love and care of your relationship, your feelings or personal well-being, then this person may not be exactly whom they seem to be.

Everyone has faults, flaws, and things about themselves that they'd like to repair.  However, sooner or later, most of us will come to terms with those issues as we mature.  Just as you are willing to sacrifice and improve yourself for the good of your relationship, so too should your soulmate be willing to do the same for you and your relationship.  A false twin flame may show a selfish streak, be unwilling to improve him- or herself, or exhibit a lack of care regarding your feelings or what's best for you as a couple.

A false twin flame will also take advantage of the other person in the relationship, be it financially, spiritually, sexually, or otherwise.  All the giving in the world is not enough for the false twin flame.  The false twin flame is left unfulfilled, as is the giver.  No one wins in a relationship like this.

While there may be a deep attraction between the two people, the giver may still feel a sense of anxiety or stress in the relationship.  The false twin flame may behave in ways that upset or depress the giver, whether these actions are conscious or not.  The false twin flame may deplete or sap the energy of the giver.  This is not a healthy relationship.

Upon a break between these two, the giver may come to realize exactly how much time and effort was expended into this relationship while the false twin flame did not truly experience the same connection.  Remember that many connections which are easily made, are also easily broken.  It is important to take an objective look at this relationship.  There are lessons to be learned from dealing with false twin flames as we evolve ever closer to the person we're supposed to be as we prepare to receive our true soulmate.



Monday, October 13, 2014

How To Deal With Excuses

This is a simple one... if you're making a lot of excuses, don't make 'em! :)

OK, maybe it's not all that simple.  It can be tough to get out of the vicious cycle which is created by avoiding problems, casting blame, rationalizing and justifying.  But in order to heal your life and those of the people around you, you must take a good, honest look at yourself and your actions.

Denial can be a soft, tempting place to live.  You can comfort yourself without really addressing the root cause of whatever issue you're experiencing.  However, once the comfort wears away, the old problems will still be there.  When you're staying safely on the sidelines of life with your old friend Denial, you'll never really be able to get into the game.

Try to break the cycle!  When you are tempted to make excuses for something, simply try to examine it from all sides.  Figure out how you can do it right next time.  You don't need to beat yourself up, but you really should try to take responsibility for what you have or haven't done.  Remember -- the first step to self-improvement is the acknowledgement that improvement is needed. :)


Like Me on Facebook! :)