Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Award Recipient: WHYBMNetwork's deCODED Sexes

deCODED Sexes is a SnapChat based show from the WHYBMNetwork that highlights the differences between gender roles in a creative, fun, and uplifting way.  The show stars a panel of guests who answer questions, make comments, and inform the viewer about a variety of subjects.

One of the things we love about this show is that while it has a humorous and lighthearted tone, its main intent is actually to inform and teach while it entertains.  Issues such as sociology, gender relations, and societal expectations based on our identities are highlighted and challenged.  The panel shares experiences that they have had based on relationships or other experiences, and the audience laughs along while they’re also thinking and relating to the characters.

We at the Sage Institute are proud to present deCODED Sexes with a Media Innovation Award!  Tackling complicated subject matters in ways that are relatable and easy to access is the hallmark of quality programming.  We love deCODED Sexes, and can’t wait to see what they come up with next!

Check them out online!

Add WHYBMNetwork on Snapchat: http://smarturl.it/whybmnetwork
Instagram: http://instagram.com/whybmnetwork 
Twitter: http://twitter.com/whybmnetwork
#deCODEDSexes Merch Shop - http://smarturl.it/deCODEDShop

Monday, February 22, 2016

How to Save Your Marriage

As individuals, we really should learn to be happy with ourselves.  But we’re human; we’re wired to want and need companionship.  When we enter into a good relationship, the world can be a brighter and more beautiful place.  But when we’re part of a good relationship that sours over time, things can go dark and ugly pretty quickly.  Any relationship may begin happily and with the best of intentions, but as things go along, misunderstandings may arise due to any number of factors – ego, personal issues, or external situations that take their toll on the relationship.  When things come to a breaking point, one or both parties in a couple may decide that the relationship has run its course.

Divorce or separation can affect both the social and personal aspects of each person involved. It may be surprising to know that even when problems do come up, the marriage does not need to end. Most issues can be addressed and managed with some hard work and dedication. I have coached and counseled many people with relationship problems, and here are five of my favorite pieces of advice for couples with fractured relationships…

1. Understand and agree the problems exist. We’re not talking about giving or receiving blame and fault at this stage of the game; let’s just focus on the idea that there are problems, and things need to change.  Too many people will live in denial all the way up until the last possible second – and by then, it's often too late. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Try to identify what the issues are in your relationship so that you can make an effort to improve them. Denial is not your friend.  Instead of retreating, practice acceptance.  With acceptance comes the ability to prepare for the challenges you'll be facing.

2.  Communicate without fear or judgement.  Author George R.R. Martin is quoted as saying “The unseen enemy is always the most fearsome." When it comes to marriages good or bad, this concept is always true. Whether there are known and concrete problems, or things just "seem off” in your relationship, there is no better solution then to start a dialogue. Give your spouse many chances to open up and try to get his or her perspective.  Even if your partner is unwilling to discuss problems with you, persevere. However, know that sooner or later they will need to start opening up if they wish to save the marriage too. In the meantime, watch and listen carefully for cues and clues.  And don't forget to be transparent in your own feelings.

3. Never underestimate the importance of passion. Problem-solving should be your biggest priority, but reigniting that flame of passion that you once shared is also one of the most important parts in salvaging a damaged relationship. This does not mean that you need to force yourself to have lots of insincere sex or to fake orgasms. What it does mean, though, is that you need to reconnect in fundamental ways. Remember what attracted you most to your partner when your relationship was young. Encourage your partner to share what attracted them to you as well.  We may have a few extra gray hairs on our heads and a few more pounds beneath our belts, but essentially, you are still that lovable "you" that once took their breath away. Strive to relive those moments and feelings.

4. Seek help. Marriage counselors, coaches and therapists are all fabulous resources in the quest for saving a marriage that is mostly good. There is nothing wrong with seeking help and learning the tools that you need in order to mend something that needs some reinforcement.  Getting help is a sign of strength, never of weakness.

5. The most important tip that I can give you is to have patience. You did not get into this mess overnight, and you won't get out of it overnight either. Be consistent as well as persistent. If you love your spouse, and you feel that your marriage is worth saving, work together in order to make that slow and steady effort.  Give it time.

My bonus tip for you is that while it only takes one person to want to end a relationship, it takes both people to want to save it. At the end of the day, it truly doesn't matter whose fault it is that things aren't perfect, who did what, or why it happened.  Both people need to be on board with repairing the relationship, and both people have work to do in order to make that happen. There will be times when walking away is the only option; but until or unless your sure that it is, it's not too late to try turning the tide.

Friday, July 4, 2014

How to Be Sexier for Your Man: Lesson #5, Connecting With Him

Another great way to be sexier for your man is to flat-out tell him that you are trying to be sexy for him.  He'll get quite a boost realizing that you're trying to please him.  You could also talk about fantasies or things that you might want to try in bed.  Who knows… you may just learn something that you didn't know before.

Physical contact is also important.  You don't need to jump on him right that very second -- though I bet he wouldn't mind that, either! -- Be a bit of a seductress.  Use your hands to caress him, massage him, and just enjoy being close.  Kissing works too, especially if it's been awhile since the two of you really kissed.  If you're unsure how to begin, try remembering -- and talking about -- sweet or loving or romantic memories that the two of you share, such as when you first met or when you just began dating. 

Remember that every relationship, no matter how successful, can always use a little something extra now and then.  Keeping the spark with someone you love can sometimes take a bit of effort at times.  The good news is that when you make the effort, you will find that it's well worth it.  And that old gentle flame that you've enjoyed for years can turn into a roaring blaze before you know what's happening!

Friday, May 16, 2014

The True Story of Betty Broderick: Her Marriage and Divorce

In the Lifetime movies about Betty Broderick, she is played by Meredith Baxter Birney.  They are two of my favorite Lifetime movies, and they're based on the true story of a woman scorned!

Betty was born in a town in southern New York, and had a very strict childhood.  She was 18 years old when she met her husband-to-be, Daniel T. Broderick.  They married in 1969 and had five children.  In addition to their daughter and four sons (one of whom died within days of his birth), the couple also suffered several miscarriages.  During the majority of their marriage, Betty was pregnant with many small children to raise.

While Daniel went to medical school Betty raised the kids and was also the primary breadwinner of the family.  Her husband then changed the course of his studies and went on to earn a law degree as Betty continued to work and support their large family.

Daniel Broderick met Linda Kolkena in 1983 when he hired her as a receptionist.  She was a beautiful and gregarious young woman, a former flight attendant who had lost her job due to flirtatious behavior.  Betty accused Daniel of having an affair with Linda on numerous occasions, yet he continuously denied ever having any sort of non-professional relationship with her prior to the Brodericks' divorce.

The Brodericks' marriage became very strained, hostile and emotionally abusive.  Daniel moved out of their residence against Betty's wishes and eventually, he filed for divorce.  The divorce was a brutal event for both of them, and it took a very long time before it was finalized.  During this time, Betty had abandoned her children and Daniel was awarded custody.  Betty sent hateful, angry letters and voicemail messages to the family as she felt that she had been "replaced" by Linda, who resembled a younger version of Betty.

In 1989, after four years of legal work, the divorce became official.  Daniel and Linda married in April of 1989 and Betty moved on as well, co-habitating with a boyfriend that she'd had for some time during the separation.  The angry messages and violations of restraining order continued as Betty's anger did not seem to be assuaged.

In November of 1989 -- six months after Dan and Linda's marriage -- Betty illegally trespassed on their property, sneaking into the couple's bedroom, and shot them each in the head at close range.  Although she has denied even recalling the act of pulling the trigger, Betty was convicted of murder and sentenced to two 15-year terms in prison.  Forensic psychiatrist Dr. Park Dietz has diagnosed with Betty Broderick with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  She's currently incarcerated at a women's prison in California.

Some view Betty Broderick as something of a hero to cast-away wives, and some as their worst nightmare.

What do you think?  Feel free to comment and give your opinion of this story!


Thursday, May 1, 2014

How To Be Sexier For Your Man, Lesson #3: Affirmations

Affirmations are scripts that you can use for self-talk to infuse a little positivity in your mind.    If you feel that you need a little boost in the confidence department, try some positive affirmations to get things going. 

Some of my favorites to enhance one's sex appeal are as follows:
 
I'm beautiful every day, but today I look especially hot!

Men really respond to my sexy energy.

My butt (or my chest) looks great in these jeans… or in this dress… pick your most flattering outfit and tell yourself how gorgeous you look!

I can have anyone I want.

I'm every man's dream come true.

I am naturally so enticing, that no one can resist me.

While it's true that some of these are a little bit over the top, that's the whole point of affirmations.  Make them as vivid and wild as you like.  Spark your inner creativity and live in that moment of personal empowerment.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

How To Be Sexier For Your Man, Lesson #2

Another very important thing to remember is that men are visual creatures.  If he's with you already, then you know that he likes the way you look.  But if you want to dress in a way that he finds exciting, go for it!  One word of caution, however… make ABSOLUTELY sure that the clothing you choose makes you feel sexy and comfortable.  They don't need to be totally revealing, but they should flatter you and make you feel sexy.  If not, you're going to insecure and uncomfortable, and no matter what you might be wearing on top -- your discomfort will show.  And that is NOT sexy.

You could go with a traditional method, like a candlelit dinner at home, romantic music, and with you wearing something slinky and sultry.  All of that stuff really does work, because it sends out all of the signals that you're making an effort to really be exciting and sexy for him.  But you need to back up that stuff with the right frame of mind.  You don't need to wait for a special occasion to be more sexy for your man, just choose a time that you feel comfortable with. If he's the kind of guy who likes schedules, feel free to plan it in advance so that you can both relax more.

Make it special.  Light some candles, wear something that makes you feel red hot.

You might think that having a romantic night with your lover seems a bit silly, especially if you've been together a long time, but don't underestimate it.  Guys like to be made to feel special, too.  And when one person does that for their partner -- the partner will be more likely to reciprocate sometime down the line.

Remember that confidence is key.  Many confident women are brought up being made to feel as though they are beautiful, competent, and all-around wonderful.  As they grow into women, this confidence translates into greater professional successes, as well as personal ones. 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Other Face of Clark Rockefeller (Christian Gerharsreiter)

The "Clark Rockefeller" mystery is one of the more compelling stories of the past few decades.  Some may wonder how this man was able to fool his wife, with whom he was so close and intimate, for so long.

In the Lifetime movie, Who Is Clark Rockefeller?, there were many instances of foreshadowing which gave the viewer some helpful hints.  If you're experiencing any of these issues with someone that you suspect may be betraying you (though more likely on a smaller scale than this!), do not hesitate to investigate further.

Here are some of the clues that appear in the movie; some may apply to your own situation as well:

Changing stories:  His stories constantly changed.  At one time, he was trying to work with his uncle, David, but then in later stories, he told Sandra that David was actually his cousin.  And in another instance... first, his mother was a "horsey set" debutante by the name of Mary.  Then, in another story, Clark mentioned that his mother was child actress Ann Carter. 

Crazy-making:  When Sandra Boss called him on the discrepancy about his mother, he gave her a look as if she were ridiculous and quipped, "I think I know my own mother's name!"

Lack of proof:  The Rockefeller in-laws never materialized.  Clark would casually mention this or that relative as if he'd just spoken to them, yet Sandra was never introduced to them.  Reigh also didn't get the opportunity to met them.  Clark never shared his personal information with Sandra, such as his social security number or contact information for his family, citing "strange" privacy issues.

In hindsight, it's easy to see these discrepancies and issues.  However, from the day-to-day living, these things are so close to home that it may be hard to zoom out and see them for the lies that they are.

Some people have called Sandra Boss gullible, stupid, and "unsympathetic."  However, my heart goes out to her.  Once you accept certain things, however dysfunctional the relationship, it becomes easier and easier to blur the line between what is acceptable and what is unacceptable.  She was only one of so many people that Christian Gerhartsreiter fooled.  It is human nature to want to accept the truth of the person that we love, and to want to believe the words that they say.  I think that victims of similar ploys, even if orchestrated by less adept transgressors, will also have some sympathy for a woman who has had to endure such betrayal.

So many people have been taken in by far less competent liars than "Clark Rockefeller."  Lying and betraying someone in this way is a terrible form of emotional abuse.  Protect yourself.  And when you find someone who is truly worthy of your trust, you can feel much more confident in giving it to them as you know what to expect.

Many have been intrigued by the tale, wondering who the real Clark Rockefeller is and where he came from.  Christian Gerhartsreiter's kidnapping of his daughter was his undoing as his true identity became known.  The public will learn even more secrets about Clark Rockefeller (or Christian Gerhartsreiter)'s life will come to light his trial for murdering Jonathan Sohus and Linda Sohus begins soon.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Worse Things Than Being Alone


I've been writing eBooks lately, based on some of the relationship nightmares that I've been hearing about.  When we look around and see what other people are experiencing, it's easy to feel lucky that we've got the problems that we have!



Sometimes, we put up with someone who mistreats us or doesn't respect our rights.  Some people say that even a bad relationship is better than having none at all; the loneliness is too frightening to face for some.  This may prompt those people to remain in a relationship that is unhealthy, negative, or even damaging to them.


Here's a list of things that are worse than being alone.  If your mate does any of the things on this list, it may be time to take control of your own life, to let go of the relationship, and enjoy the freedom of being alone -- without having to worry about being mistreated by someone who doesn't deserve you!


1. Being in a relationship with someone who uses you.
2. Being in a relationship with someone who lies to you.
3. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you.
4. Being in a relationship with someone who expects you to do everything for them.
5. Being in a relationship with someone who demeans you.
6. Being in a relationship with someone who belittles you.
7. Being in a relationship with someone who keeps secrets from you.
8. Being in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful.
9. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about your problems.
10. Being in a relationship with someone who emotionally abuses you.
11. Being in a relationship with someone who physically abuses you.
12. Being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel worthless.
13. Being in a relationship with someone who physically violates you.
14. Being in a relationship with someone who tries to control you.
15. Being in a relationship with someone who forces you to do things that you don't want to do.
16. Being in a relationship with someone who kicks you when you're down.
17. Being in a relationship with someone who has a problem with anger.
18. Being in a relationship with someone who takes their troubles out on you.
19. Being in a relationship with someone who has addiction issues and will not get help.
20. Being in a relationship with someone who values everything else above their relationship with you.
21. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries.
22. Being in a relationship with someone who threatens you with violence.
23. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you.
24. Being in a relationship with someone who cheats on you.
25. Being in a relationship with someone who manipulates you.
26. Being in a relationship with someone who plays mind games with you.
27. Being in a relationship with someone who does not respect your personal space.
28. Being in a relationship with someone who feels no remorse for hurting you.
29. Being in a relationship with someone who threatens you.
30. Being in a relationship with someone who makes unreasonable demands of you.
31. Being in a relationship with someone who has an addiction that is out of control.
32. Being in a relationship with someone who has problems for which he is unwilling to get help.
33. Being in a relationship with someone who does not take responsibility for his actions.
34. Being in a relationship with someone who blames you for all of his failures.
35. Being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel unsafe.
36. Being in a relationship with someone who uses you.
37. Being in a relationship with someone who lies to you.
38. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you.
39. Being in a relationship with someone who expects you to do everything for them.
40. Being in a relationship with someone who demeans you.
41. Being in a relationship with someone who belittles you.
42. Being in a relationship with someone who keeps secrets from you.
43. Being in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful.
44. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about your problems.
45. Being in a relationship with someone who emotionally abuses you.
46. Being in a relationship with someone who physically abuses you.
47. Being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel worthless.
48. Being in a relationship with someone who physically violates you.
49. Being in a relationship with someone who tries to control you.
50. Being in a relationship with someone who forces you to do things that you don't want to do.
51. Being in a relationship with someone who kicks you when you're down.
52. Being in a relationship with someone who has a problem with anger.
53. Being in a relationship with someone who takes their troubles out on you.
54. Being in a relationship with someone who has addiction issues and will not get help.
55. Being in a relationship with someone who values everything else above their relationship with you.
56. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries.
57. Being in a relationship with someone who threatens you with violence.
58. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you.
59. Being in a relationship with someone who cheats on you.
60. Being in a relationship with someone who manipulates you.
61. Being in a relationship with someone who plays mind games with you.
62. Being in a relationship with someone who does not respect your personal space.
63. Being in a relationship with someone who feels no remorse for hurting you.
64. Being in a relationship with someone who threatens you.
65. Being in a relationship with someone who makes unreasonable demands of you.
66. Being in a relationship with someone who has an addiction that is out of control.
67. Being in a relationship with someone who has problems for which he is unwilling to get help.
68. Being in a relationship with someone who does not take responsibility for his actions.
69. Being in a relationship with someone who blames you for all of his failures.
70. Being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel unsafe.
71. Being in a relationship with someone who has sex with you against your will.
72. Being in a relationship with someone who seems fine in public, but lashes out at you privately.
73. Being in a relationship with someone who mistreats your children.
74. Being in a relationship with someone who isolates you from friends or family.
75. Being in a relationship with someone who tries to keep you down.
76. Being in a relationship with someone who steals from you.
77. Being in a relationship with someone who does not respect what is important to you.
78. Being in a relationship with someone who makes promises and never keeps them.
79. Being in a relationship with someone who treats you like an object instead of like a person.
80. Being in a relationship with someone who takes more than he gives back.
81. Being in a relationship with someone who does things to upset you on purpose.
82. Being in a relationship with someone who you can never depend on.
83. Being in a relationship with someone who has sex with you against your will.
84. Being in a relationship with someone who seems fine in public, but lashes out at you privately.
85. Being in a relationship with someone who mistreats your children.
86. Being in a relationship with someone who isolates you from friends or family.
87. Being in a relationship with someone who tries to keep you down.
88. Being in a relationship with someone who steals from you.
89. Being in a relationship with someone who does not respect what is important to you.
90. Being in a relationship with someone who makes promises and never keeps them.
91. Being in a relationship with someone who treats you like an object instead of like a person.
92. Being in a relationship with someone who takes more than he gives back.
93. Being in a relationship with someone who does things to upset you on purpose.
94. Being in a relationship with someone who does not value you.
95. Being in a relationship with someone whom you cannot trust.
96. Being in a relationship with someone who intimidates you in order to get what he wants.
97. Being in a relationship with someone who tries to minimize your achievements.
98. Being in a relationship with someone who ignores your basic needs.
99. Being in a relationship with someone who does not recognize your rights as a human being.
100. Being in a relationship with someone who has any of the issues above -- yet doesn’t have any interest in doing something about them.




Photo source:  Screaming guy photo by crosathorian.  Woman photo is public domain.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Vedic Astrology for Potential Love Matches

Astrology involves studying the aspects of stars, planets, and other bodies in space with the belief that these celestial bodies can guide occurrences and human traits here on earth. Astrological forecasts can be utilized in order to predict various things within our lives; our livelihoods, our fortunes, even our loves and friends can be determined through astrology. Astrological predictions can help to steer you in the pathway of success. The effect on celestial movements in our day-to-day living can't necessarily be dismissed. There are millions of people using astrology to help them every day.

Some people even use astrology to determine whom they should marry. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people, and although divorce rates are high, most of us take our marriages seriously as an important part of life. However, it can be very difficult to find the right woman or man who can unite with your body, heart, and soul. Astrology can help you to find the right person, though. Folks can use astrology to determine how compatible two people might be. In India, people use Hindu Astrology (or Vedic Astrology) to determine which people are best suited to one another. It's a very common procedure; the astrology specialists can also help to settle on just the right time for the marriage to occur, as well as which dates should not be chosen for the wedding. A bride or groom's natal chart and horoscope can provide much inside information on the future, but also the present and past as well. An astrologer can also forecast where the couple's rough patches may begin or end, such as when Saturn or Venus are in bad placements for the bride and groom. Astrology can be a valuable tool in determining when breakups or divorces are most likely to happen, in order to soften the blow or avoid the breakups entirely.

In order to do a bride and groom's natal charts and compatibility assessment, the astrologer needs the birthdates, birth times, and birth locations of both people. The natal chart is cast with this information. Each planet and celestial body was in a specific position at the time of birth, so those specific locations have an effect on the bride and groom's individual personalities. The astrological information does not need to be perfectly compatible, but generalities are very important. People can also learn about one another with this information: how to communicate with them most effectively, what they are seeking in a potential partner, and which aspects of yourself that you need to work on as your marriage grows.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Who is Clark Rockefeller?

The kidnapping of Reigh Rockefeller in 2009 sparked a huge interest in her father and kidnapper, Clark Rockefeller.  Was he really the person that he seemed to be?  Or was he someone else -- an emotional vampire of the deadliest kind?

In fact, Rockefeller's true identity is Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter, who was actually born in the small town of Bergen in Germany to parents Simon and Ermengard Gerhartsreiter.  As a teenager, he came to the United States, and soon began using aliases and adopting different identities.  At one period of time, Gerhartsreiter lived in San Marino, California under the name Christopher Chichester.  The high-society set there had been so taken with him that he'd actually run for political office and had his own television talk show, Inside San Marino.  During his time there, it is thought that he murdered his landlords, Jonathan Sohus and his wife, Linda Sohus, who had gone missing during this time.  Jonathan Sohus's skeletal remains were found years later, but the whereabouts and status of Linda Sohus have never been determined.

Eventually, Gerhartsreiter made his way to New York and gained membership into a prestigious church where he mingled with the movers and shakers of society.  He introduced himself as "Clark Rockefeller" and led hundreds of people to believe that he was part of the famous Rockefeller clan.  While still impersonating a member of the prestigious Rockefeller family, Gerhartsreiter met and married Sandra Boss, graduate of Harvard Business school and successful businesswoman, and the two had a daughter together.  Living off of his wife's income, Clark Rockefeller became a "house husband" and dedicated his life to the home, while the family lived off of Sandra Boss's hard-earned money as a business consultant.  They had homes in both Boston and New Hampshire, and lived an opulent lifestyle which forced Sandra to work even harder in order to keep up with Rockefeller's profligate spending habits. 

Finally, Sandra Boss had had enough of her husband's emotional abuse, controlling behavior, and financial recklessness.  She owned up to the fact that her husband had been deceiving her.  She filed for divorce, and gained custody of Reigh in exchange for $800,000 and the engagement ring that Gerhartsreiter had given her when they had agreed to marry -- a price that Clark Rockefeller himself had set in exchange for his daughter.

In July of 2008, Gerhartsreiter orchestrated a plan to kidnap their daughter which involved an elaborate ruse to separate Reigh from her chaperone, abscond the girl, and leave the city with her.  The two were found about a week later in Baltimore, where Gerhartsreiter was arrested and Reigh was returned to her mother.  Many people have been fascinated by the story, and wondering who the real Clark Rockefeller is.  Christian Gerhartsreiter has longed for fame and attention during the course of his entire life of lies, and now it looks like his "wish" has come true since the kidnapping of his daughter.  I'm sure that more information about Clark Rockefeller (or Christian Gerhartsreiter)'s life will come to light as his murder trial begins.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Is He Still Faithful?

I recently came across a vintage article which was called "Is He Still Faithful?" and the content of it was so fascinating that I just had to share it with all of you.  I believe that this is from the 1940s or 1950s, and would love to find more vintage things to share with you all! :)  Someday soon I will be posting my rebuttal to this article (and believe me, I have PLENTY to say!)... but for now, here it is as it was originally written.  I cleaned up the original image a bit so that you can see it more clearly, but I'm also posting the text inside the image here, for those of you who are reading from your mobile phone or browsers that aren't always polite. :)  Enjoy!



Is He Still Faithful?

by Nancy Hale

There is probably no shock as severe as to find out that the man you love has been unfaithful to you. It may also be a blow to discover that in nine out of ten cases it was you and not the other woman who caused him to stray. Yes, you, from the moment you met him, through your courtship and down the years of your marriage.

Insure yourself against future infidelity by being honest with yourself from the very beginning. Take a second look with 3D glasses. His personality must be as pleasing to you as his appearance. Do you admire his good points and overlook his bad ones? Above all, is he the man you really want and does he want you?

During your courtship, make sure that your future plans are well talked over, right down to how many children you expect to have and when. Understand the kind of life you will have together before you jump into it. Don't overlook certain annoyances and hope to make him over after the ceremony. If there's any making over to do, it'll have to be in your department and then be sure it's worth it and go to it.

Play fair with him, too. Don't pretend to be a busy little home bee when you crave excitement and gay places. You can look forward to unfaithfulness if you've pretended to be a social butterfly when in reality you're afraid to meet people.

Be conscious at all times of what can happen to your marriage if you don't work at it. The bride who feels that she has caught her man cannot afford to relax. She must now prove that she can manage a home, cook appetizing meals, and still look like a cover girl, mornings as well as after dark.

The bride, no longer a "date," must be interested in her husband's business and in their financial future. She will not be jealous of childish about associations which will help to further his success, be they men or women. She will live within her means, not begrudging a friend her new coat or car, never throwing her husband's inadequacies in his face.

As your marriage progresses, you will be constantly aware that faithfulness is as much your doing as your husband's. Have you turned into a nagger or a whiner? Are you inconsiderate or discourteous? Do your children come before your husband? Or have you simply failed to grow along with your marriage? Tge woman who has nothing to talk about but the mundane happenings of the day or the gossip of the neighborhood is inviting trouble. Develop a hobby. Get into community affairs and don't let your marriage grow stale. You'll be the "last to know" for sure if you've let yourself go mentally as well as physically.

Yes, keeping her man faithful is a woman's work, and it starts with that first this-is-for-keeps-date, but you can always make a fresh start, even after a painful experience of unfaithfulness.

Don't rush for a gun or the divorce courts the moment you suspect foul play. Men are seldom deeply involved emotionally with "other women." In a crisis, almost all will come running back to choose their own wives or sweethearts. 




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