Wednesday, July 1, 2015

The Importance of Doing Your Own Thing

One of the biggest issues that we have in our quests for self-love has got to be comparing ourselves to other people.

It's natural to seek some type of gauge by which to measure our progress.  When you look around and see your friends who have great jobs, wonderful families, more money, or lives that simply seem cooler than yours, it's hard to look at the bright side of your own life.  What's more, comparing yourself to those other people is going to invoke the monster of jealousy -- that that's a hard entity to control!

When assessing your own life, do so on your own terms.  Work according to your personal wishes, needs, and strengths.  Remember that while you may not have the tools that others have, they also don't possess what you have, either.

Also, while you're looking at all of the beautiful pictures and messages from your friends on Facebook or hearing amusing anecdotes at your next social gathering, it's important to keep in mind that people often put their best faces forward in those situations.  It may be due to excess pride, or the desire to simply not burden others with negative issues.  Either way, know that not everything is what it seems.

Live authentically and run your own life the way you enjoy running it -- do you own thing, measure your success by your own personal benchmarks, and don't worry so much about what the rest of the world is doing!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

How to Deal with Negative People in 3 Easy Steps!

Everyone has to deal with negativity from time to time.  It's just part of life.  No matter what we do, who we are, or how we try -- at one point or another, we will all cross paths with someone who is negative.  It could be someone with whom you work, someone in your family, or even a friend that you truly care about:  the person may be pe

Step 1:  Consider the possibility of cutting them loose.  It might be a harsh choice, but if the bad outweighs the good that these people bring to your life, it may be time for an act of self-care by freeing yourself from the negativity of someone who is dragging you down.  If the negative person is draining your energy, causing you to dread scenarios where you know you'll need to deal with them, or putting you and others down, consider cutting the cord.  It needn't be dramatic or harsh, and it might be difficult as well.  But sometimes, you need to make your own sanity and wellbeing a priority!

Step 2:  Find ways to cope with their negativity.  There are probably a few emotional vampires that you can eliminate from your life entirely.  But there may be others, such as relatives that you have to see along with the ones you really want to see, or co-workers over whom you have no control, that you really need to interact with occasionally whether you want to or not.  Even if you don't have a choice in the matter of dealing with them, you can choose HOW to deal with them.  And that can actually make all the difference!  Try to accept them the way that they are.  Understand that a negative person is probably a miserable person, and remember that 90% of what they're griping about is definitely not personal.  This is just who they are, and their behavior is about them -- not you.  Take it all with a grain of salt and allow the whining to roll off of your back.  When you do have to deal with them, stay positive and upbeat; even negative people want to be treated with friendliness, and you might be surprised at how some of them can really be disarmed by a warm smile or a light friendly conversation.  Small talk can also serve as your barrier to some of the deeper complaints that they wish to share with others.  This really does work in many scenarios, so try it!

Step 3:  Seek positivity within their negativity.  While this might seem like a major oxymoron, it's actually not.  Many times, negative people are just unhappy souls who use their pessimism as a protective barrier to keep pain and rejection from penetrating their thin skins and wounding them.  It's also very possible that those with whom you are close, are also being negative or critical in an attempt to shield you from some danger or trouble that they perceive.  To them, their thoughts are real and their comments are used to defend and protect.  Analyze the situation and try to determine if the negative person is a downer about every subject in the world, or if they're especially prickly about only certain topics.  Remember that this need to protect, while strange, may also bring out some valid points for you to consider.  Those who are good at seeing potential problems and voicing those issues to you are actually trying to be helpful.  It might be that they care about you, or want what's best for everyone.  Whether their negative feelings have weight or not, seeing it from this perspective can help you to develop more tolerance as you understand better where it comes from.

Whether the intentions behind your "Debbie Downer" are positive or negative, it's important to understand that there's often a lot more going on than the surface of the situation shows.  If you're unable to remove the negative person from your life, ask yourself why they must stay.  And then, in order to remain positive yourself, use your optimism and positivity as tools to deal with the negative energy and words coming from this person.  At the end of the day, the only person that you have control over is yourself -- make the most of what you've got!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Am I a Lightworker? Lightworkers Characteristics for Self-Discovery

Are you a lightworker?  The term itself has been liberally applied in many scenarios, but not everyone is familiar with what lightwork actually entails.

If you feel as though you have a special calling to help, heal, or counsel other people, you can consider yourself to be a lightworker.  Having an open heart and a loving spirit are the first and most basic requirements for lightwork.  When we feel naturally compelled to open our hearts and to share our gifts with other people who are in need -- whether it's through the giving of money or material items, sharing advice, helping with small tasks, or even just a sympathetic ear and a hug -- we are performing a valuable service for one another, and in turn, for the universe.
Lightwork is about more than simply using new age methods to heal and help others.  It can manifest in very practical applications as well as more esoteric, spiritual ones.  When we have a look at the larger picture, we can understand that our calling to help other people is a calling for lightwork at its most basic spiritual level.

When you're compelled to be a loving and giving person, or called to help others, you are a lightworker!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Signs & Signals of a False Twin Flame

We're all looking for our soulmate, also known as a twin flame.  There are so many discussions about it online, in books, movies, and personal conversations.  Because of this, there is often a lot of confusion among people as to whether or not the "twin flame" that they're currently involved with is their true soulmate… as opposed to the false "twin flame."

Because our hopes and dreams hinge frequently on finding this person, we may sometimes come across people who seem too good to be true… false twin flames.  Here are some signs that, perhaps, the person who seems like they might be a true twin flame, is actually a false one.

Just as our twin flame has many similarities to us, so too will the false twin flame.  On a superficial level, this person may seem to be rather similar -- and sometimes, very similar, or complimentary to us.  They may share similar goals, backgrounds, values, or personal tastes.  However, with a false twin flame, the similarities may end there.

You true soulmate, or any person who loves you, will naturally want to be supportive of positive changes within your life.  The hallmark of a false twin flame is of duplicitousness.  If this person's behavior does not correspond to the love and care of your relationship, your feelings or personal well-being, then this person may not be exactly whom they seem to be.

Everyone has faults, flaws, and things about themselves that they'd like to repair.  However, sooner or later, most of us will come to terms with those issues as we mature.  Just as you are willing to sacrifice and improve yourself for the good of your relationship, so too should your soulmate be willing to do the same for you and your relationship.  A false twin flame may show a selfish streak, be unwilling to improve him- or herself, or exhibit a lack of care regarding your feelings or what's best for you as a couple.

A false twin flame will also take advantage of the other person in the relationship, be it financially, spiritually, sexually, or otherwise.  All the giving in the world is not enough for the false twin flame.  The false twin flame is left unfulfilled, as is the giver.  No one wins in a relationship like this.

While there may be a deep attraction between the two people, the giver may still feel a sense of anxiety or stress in the relationship.  The false twin flame may behave in ways that upset or depress the giver, whether these actions are conscious or not.  The false twin flame may deplete or sap the energy of the giver.  This is not a healthy relationship.

Upon a break between these two, the giver may come to realize exactly how much time and effort was expended into this relationship while the false twin flame did not truly experience the same connection.  Remember that many connections which are easily made, are also easily broken.  It is important to take an objective look at this relationship.  There are lessons to be learned from dealing with false twin flames as we evolve ever closer to the person we're supposed to be as we prepare to receive our true soulmate.

Monday, October 13, 2014

How To Deal With Excuses

This is a simple one... if you're making a lot of excuses, don't make 'em! :)

OK, maybe it's not all that simple.  It can be tough to get out of the vicious cycle which is created by avoiding problems, casting blame, rationalizing and justifying.  But in order to heal your life and those of the people around you, you must take a good, honest look at yourself and your actions.

Denial can be a soft, tempting place to live.  You can comfort yourself without really addressing the root cause of whatever issue you're experiencing.  However, once the comfort wears away, the old problems will still be there.  When you're staying safely on the sidelines of life with your old friend Denial, you'll never really be able to get into the game.

Try to break the cycle!  When you are tempted to make excuses for something, simply try to examine it from all sides.  Figure out how you can do it right next time.  You don't need to beat yourself up, but you really should try to take responsibility for what you have or haven't done.  Remember -- the first step to self-improvement is the acknowledgement that improvement is needed. :)

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Dealing With Unhealthy Attachments

Getting mired down in bad situations can bring your emotional well-being to a screeching halt!

We all need to weather things that we don't like.  From time to time, you might need to take a job that doesn't exactly thrill you.  Perhaps you'll be required to interact with people who are less than nice -- but you've gotta do it.  Life often has messes to clean, people to handle, problems to manage.  It's just the way things are.

That said, there is a dark side to this coin... or, should I say, an even darker side?  There are times and situations into which we will immerse our own selves, yet there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to it.  Perhaps we're stuck in a dead-end job, despite our fine qualifications.  Or maybe we allow ourselves to continue in a very unsatisfying and harmful relationship instead of ending things and moving along into a healthier direction.

We don't always make our own misery in life -- there's plenty which is handed to us.  However, because there are so many things in life which cannot be controlled, there really is no reason to continue dealing with unhealthy and upsetting things when we can control them.

When you choose to move your life into a healthy direction, you're choosing happiness.  You're choosing life and positivity with all who know you.  You are enabling yourself to give and receive love more freely when you let go of unhealthy attachments.  It can be incredibly hard not to fall into traps like this -- but so rewarding when you free yourself.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Balancing Your Conscious & Subconscious Mind

Have you ever heard the phrase "mind over matter"?  Our subconscious awareness is a powerful thing.  That part of our mind cannot discern the difference between reality and what we say is reality; it cannot reject anything that we tell it.  The subconscious mind must accept whatever information that we choose to give it.  Therefore, your mind can be a powerful catalyst in manifesting your wishes.

Your physical body can also be affected by what your mind chooses to believe or what thoughts are put out into the universe.  Our worlds are also determined to a large extent by how we process information.  The subconscious mind can frame how we see the world outside of ourselves. 

When we choose to accept something on a conscious level, it will become ingrained in our subconscious too.  And these two together will also have an effect upon our bodies as well.  This can put our bodies and minds into an entirely new state of being.

If you envision yourself being healthy, living in abundance, and surrounded with love, those thoughts are more likely to manifest in your life than if you choose to envision yourself always struggling to pay the bills, feeling crappy, and full of problems in your relationships.  You need to put your mind into a higher state of being, and live your true will from the inside out, in order to help yourself to manifest these changes and to make better decisions for yourself.

Putting yourself in this positive frame of mind will help you to attract that which you desire, rather than to attract negativity.  So take those hopes and wishes, don't be afraid to dream and impress those good thoughts onto your subconscious mind.  It can make a world of difference.

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