Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Hail Mary, Full of Grace!

The mother of Jesus has a beautiful prayer that most people know as the "Hail Mary."  It is often recited like this in the Catholic tradition:

Hail Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Mary is a perfect example of the "Mother" archetype: nuturing, loving, and always willing to listen and help her children.  The imagery of Mary holding her baby Jesus has created some of the most touching and beautiful artwork that the world has ever known.

In Catholic school, we sang a song called "Hail Mary, Gentle Woman" which was written by Carey Landry sometime in the 1960s or 1970s.  I always loved it; it perfectly sums up the woman who mothered God's son, both gentle and strong at the same time.

The lyrics are as follows:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women
and blest is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now
and at the hour of death. Amen.

Gentle woman, quiet light,
morning star, so strong and bright,
gentle Mother, peaceful dove,
teach us wisdom; teach us love.

You were chosen by the Father;
you were chosen for the Son.
You were chosen from all women
and for woman, shining one.

Blessed are you among women,
blest in turn all women, too.
Blessed they with peaceful spirits.
Blessed they with gentle hearts.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

What Does a Spiritual Awakening Feel Like?

For those who have never actually had the opportunity to experience their own spiritual transformation, the act of the spiritual awakening can be a rather tough thing to actually put into words.  Some will simply say that in order to understand what one is, you must first experience it.  Although these occurrences are different for everyone, there are some underlying similarities that many people have reported.  Certain people have reported that there is an overwhelming surge of energy, yet simultaneously, there's a soothing sense of calm and peaceful overtone.  You may also feel warm or hot flashes, tingling, or other unusual sensations.  Ripples of love and ecstasy may course through your body, filling you with a sense that all is more than just right with the world -- it's amazing!  In the fleeting time that you feel this amazing occurrence, it may seem as if you have become part of everything around you; one with the entire universe, and all of the love and joy that is contained within it.  Your soul opens to all the divine beauty in the universe and becomes part of it.  It may last only a few seconds, more or less.  Sometimes, the transformation and its buildup is gradual and gentle; other times it is as quick and intense as a spontaneous orgasm.  While the experience is different for each and every person, your end result will still be the same: you have awakened your spiritual consciousness, opened your heart to an amazing and divine connection with your higher power.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Fake Spellcaster Spams Our Website!

This weird guy has been commenting on my blog lately, advertising his services.

"I know most of us here have read about the spell caster BOLOGO on the internet and how he has helped a lot of persons get back their lovers, jobs and many other thing i also know some of us don't take this serious as in most person think this is just some story written to attract reader to some certain blog or some forum web page.You all should know some thing, BOLOGO is a real and honest spell caster and he is true to every word that he says he never go back on his words, he does not tell you thing that there isn't.I promise you contacting him will be the best decision you ever made.And you should also know that he can never ask you to pay for his services all you have to do is to provide the materials that he is going to use to cast the spell for you and you will also have to trust in him to help cos trust is the key element that you are going need.IF you feel he can help this his email contact: xxx@xxx.xxxx"

Listen, I think that spellcasting can be a great thing.  In fact, I offer it myself for my very special clients!  But poaching from others is not the same as offering it out of love.  I have Googled this guy and feel that he's just a big scammer -- he's posted the same message to a ton of websites.  Try to find reputable people who are really going to go the extra mile to help you!  Don't allow phonies to take advantage.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

What 'Unusual' Aura Colors Mean

While most people's auras contain a few different colors, there are also some important shades or patterns that don't really fit the standard mold.  Each aura is unique, and aura patterns can contain many different shades.  Some of these colors are explored here.

It is said that a mixture of mud-colored brown, dark grey, and light pink together have been seen in people with a serious or terminal illness, or other fatal condition.  Try some aura cleansing rituals to soothe and protect your spiritual health too.

Metallic shades are also present in the auras.  Silver streaks or spots are said to represent truth-seekers, or those wishing for guidance from God and other spiritual sources.  Gold indicates an extremely sensitive and highly aware individual.  Copper is usually seen in people who spend a lot of time outdoors or with environmental jobs (forestry, mining, farming).  One person has told me that a zinc-colored hue, which is similar to gold, but lighter in color, is often seen around genitals or sexual organs, but especially during arousal.

Off-white shades and pastels are frequently seen.  While white itself indicates the presence of a spiritual guardian, off-white such as cream or ivory indicates that someone is devoted to a path of higher spirituality, and that they are progressing accordingly.  Pearl and pearly shades are the hallmark of mediums or others who are highly in tune with the spiritual presences which surround us.  Ivory is the shade of someone who seeks goodness and truth, but is also adept at communicating those ideas to others and may serve as a great influence to others.

The meaning of different aura colors can also be found individually when the colors are mixed.  Most people have varying aura patterns to reflect different sides of their emotional spectrum as well.

Monday, April 22, 2013

The "X" Crystal Grid Layout for Arthritis & Fibromyalgia Pain

Pain can be such a debilitating thing.  I know I have days where I can only dream of getting out of bed!  But that's why crystal therapy can be so great.  It can never hurt you, only help.  Even if you're not quite convinced, think of it as mind over matter.  Or imagine it to be a way to meditate on your issues in order to gain some perspective.  Either way, it is non-invasive and worth a shot!

I have devised a crystal grid layout to free you of those aches and pains which are brought on by stiff creaky joints, arthritis, neurological disturbances such as neuropathy and fibromyalgia.  This one is great for the knees!  You will need to be seated or laying down for this position.

For help with pain, I tend to use items from the orange or brown color families, as the Root Chakra is the place in the body where pain management energy tends to be stored.  (When people "brace themselves" for something that's gonna hurt, it's usually those muscles which tense and brace!)  However, for this grid layout I have come up with something a little different.

You will need two blue stones, such as lapis, sapphire, or blue agate, in order to absorb the healing and soothing energies around you.  If you can get crystals which are pointed, all the better.  The other gemstones you can use are turquoise (and do try to get points, arrowheads, or something elogated if possible) or even clear quartz points will work.

In the middle of the X, you should place a green calcite gemstone in the middle of affected area in order to have a "pain conductor."  Direct the discomfort into the calcite, and allow it to then disperse through the blue and aqua crystals around it.  Calcite stones are best for this purpose, but amethyst can also work well, as can jasper or any color of agate (though I do recommend moss agate or another green crystal shade as it promotes healing from the Heart Chakra).

Happy healing!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Happy Birthday, Taurus!

Birthday greetings to our tough but lovable friend, the terrific Taurua!

Ruled by Venus, Taurus are naturally sensual and loving of pleasure.  Taurus people tend to be headstrong and practical, but they love a challenge in any form.  A Taurus may take his or her time to make up their mind -- but when they do, watch out!  Taurus will stay on track no matter what happens!  Taurus tends to be loving and protecting, wanting to give their partner the best of everything.  However, they tend to show their love through providing security and lots of hugs.  They are very physical and love to show affection by touching.  A Taurus can inspire others to be more grounded and earthy, but lots of fun!

With an Taurus by your side, you've got a strong and loyal friend for any adventures!

Happy Birthday, Taurus friends and sweethearts!  We love you!

P. S.  I made some cute birthday images of each zodiac sign... keep checking back all year for more!  I hope that you enjoy these!  They're licensed under "Creative Commons" (non-commercial only) so feel free to share them and use them for personal stuff on Facebook, Myspace, or wherever you like to network with your friends.  Have fun!

Creative Commons License

Monday, April 15, 2013

Stalked at 17: The Real Story of Chad Bruning's True Colors

Sometimes, abusive personalities form in people who have had less than perfect childhoods.  And of course, they can also be present in people with idyllic and perfect family lives as well.

According to a study which was done in the early 2000s, a child from an abusive home is 30% more likely to repeat the abusive actions that are done either between his or her parents, or to repeat the abuse which is done to him or her.

In "Stalked At 17," the character Chad Bruning came from a very dysfunctional and unstable home life.  His biological mother, a drug addict who had been serving prison time for theft, was so unstable that she was even willing to kidnap Chad's girlfriend and baby in order to placate her son.

But the worst issue of all is Chad himself.  Although he was raised by his mother's boss, welcomed and included into that family, he still felt a sense that something was missing.  As a result, he chose the worst possible reason for bringing a child into the world:  Because he didn't feel loved enough by the people around him.  His craving for love and control prompted him to emotionally and physically abuse and manipulate his girlfriend, Angela, as well as lie to her and conceive a child without her knowledge or consent.

It is important to remember that abuse can happen even in relationships with people as young as Chad and Angela.  Not all abusive relationships are between adults, and not all teen and young-adult relationships are innocent, carefree, and idyllic.   Although this is just a Lifetime movie which can be watched for fun, it is important to remember that even here, there are lessons to be learned about relationships.

In order to do the best for yourself, your mate, and the children that you may decide to have in the future, it is imperative that we all understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.  By educating ourselves and each other about the dangers of manipulative, controlling, or even abusive personalities, we are protecting ourselves from present and future damage.  Stay strong and be smart.  You deserve a healthy, happy relationship and a wonderful future!

P.S.  Do you like the picture?  I drew it from a 10-pixel pencil in Photoshop!  I couldn't find any public domain photos to use, so I made a little fan art.  (If anyone out there draws -- let me know, I'd love to find more for future articles!)

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Psychic Symptoms & Signs of a Spiritual Awakening

The psychic effects of a spiritual awakening are as varied as the people who experience them.  However, there are certain spiritual repercussions that are fairly common.  Here's a list of what to look for:

Experiencing a stronger connection to people as well as other life forms.  Perhaps you're more able to read and understand living things in a better way than you did previously.  Animals may sense this newfound connection as well.  Communication with other living things feels easier and more natural.  If animals seem to be responding better to you, try nutruring plants as well.  See if you're able to reach out and make new connections.  We are all inhabitants of the world!  During a spiritual awakening, you may feel this connection more profoundly with people, plants, and animals alike, a new awareness of sense of community and of everything working together from their own places in the universe.  Practice love and compassion in everything that you do.

Disturbances during meditation, prayer, or quiet times.  As you contact your guides, pray to God, or meditate, you may have issues focusing your thoughts or energy.  As you experience more signs and symptoms of a spiritual awakening, you may find that you need less time to meditate or pray to your higher power, as your ability to communicate those thoughts and feelings simply require less time.  Perhaps you simply don't need to allot as much time as before, or you may be communicating and/or centering yourself unconsciously in small ways throughout your waking (or sleeping) day.

A keener sense of awareness of others' presences.  This manifests through an understanding or consciousness of not only the presence of living and natural beings on this plane -- pets, friends, and random folks -- but also through consciousness of supernatural beings.  It may be a stretch, but some who undergo a spiritual transformation may just be becoming aware of spirits or even spectral presences.  There are some folks who are born with this ability, and others who develop it over time.  A spiritual awakening can bring many latent talents to the surface, including hidden abilities or weaker ones which suddenly become stronger.  If this is a frightening phenomenon for you, try meditation, prayer, or even calling upon friendly angels and spirit guides to protect you.  Remember -- most angelic or spiritual presences are either intent on trying to help you, or they are neutral in purpose.  Very, very few of these presences are harmful or mean, however some fear or paranoia is natural.

An increase in psychic or extrasensory abilities.  It is not unusual when someone experiences a spiritual awakening, for the sixth sense to become keener and stronger.  You will notice a heightened sense of awareness.  Perhaps you will experience clairvoyant, psychic, or empathic abilities that have been latent up to this point in your life, beginning to come forth and give you a new sense of perspective.

The discovery of a spirituality or philosophy that works for you.  Perhaps, for the first time in your life, you have found a type of spiritual or philosophical constructs that seem to correspond with just how you're thinking or feeling.  You may possess a deep hunger to learn more about a specific type of religion or belief.  This can help you to put your other issues into perspective, to aid you in growing on your spiritual journey.  The best way to go along with this is to read all you can, talk to other people, and ask questions if you're feeling lost.  Remember that exploration leads to discovery!

More communication with your higher power.  A stronger desire to meditate, to pray, or simply to commune with nature will always manifest itself in a spiritual awakening.  Perhaps you have found a new desire to speak to your guardian angels or spirit guides, and a greater inspiration to try making that connection.

About Energy Healing and Your Aura Type

The aura, which is a metaphysical layer of energy surrounding a body, is thought to have seven layers of energy which affect our physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.  The aura around each person is different, and thought to have various color energiess contained inside it. Aura condition can be determined by its color and thickness. 

There are six basic colors which are associated with the human aura.  Each of these colors occur in everyone, but in most people, only one or two are dominant in each aura.

Shades of red tend to belong to passionate, active individuals with lots of aggression and proactivity.  Remember that having an aggressive personality doesn't necessarily mean something bad -- however, the brighter the shade of red, the more anger or rage one possesses.  Darker reds tend to be quietly aggressive, or use their assertive and passionate tendencies in a more positive and productive way.

Orange hues are all about creativity and ideas, as well as the need to communicate those ideas to others.  People with bright orange auras are often unconventional, and tend to think of creative solutions to problems.  These are the world's innovators.  Orange aura bearers must take care, however, to keep their minds open to more rational and logical ideas as well, as they sometimes take flights of fancy a bit too far.

Those with green auras are said to be ambitious Type-A personalities.  They notice the little details that others often miss, and care about adjusting those little things in order to improve the bigger picture.  On the downside, these people can sometimes get mired in the small details so much that they can miss the bigger picture entirely.

Blue aura bearers are spiritual, introspective, and love peace.  They are also interested in creating a peaceful environment and nurturing conditions for other people.  Brighter blues tend to be more nurturing and considerate of others, but the peace-craving darker blues can also be prone to depression and anxiety.  It's important for these people to find a balance, and also to allow others to take care of them once in awhile too, in order to recharge their batteries and to renew their sense of faith in other people.

Violets and purples are the psychics of the world!  Indigo shades tend to represent wisdom and knowledge, as well as a desire to continue learning and to seek further wisdom.  Deeper purples are also wise, filled with insight and vision.  Vivid purple aura bearers are people who have the ability to impact the world with their love and kindness.  (I'm a dark purple, by the way!)

People say that those with white auras are protected by angels, benevolent spirits, and positive energy.  They are also able to bring out the best or worst in other people, reflecting their energies back at others like a mirror.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Lawyers & Astrology

Aries are competitive, physical, and active. They would make excellent representation for famous people, especially sports agents or attorneys, or awesome courtroom attorneys as well. As a strong sign that thrives on competition, an Aries would be a rough opponent as a litigator in a courtroom.

Taurus tend to be stubborn and set in their ways, but also very good with money. I can easily see a Taurean as a finance lawyer, estate lawyer, or even a business attorney. They could also be good in situations like corporate law, annuity settlement attorneys, or divorce lawyers as they are willing to fight for what's right and can keep a cool head even when they are feeling especially emotional.

Geminis are wonderful at communicating, and they tend to have open minds. They are great talkers, which would make them formidable in the courtroom -- especially as a criminal trial lawyer, when there is a need to convince a jury. I also feel that, as a sign dedicated to fairness and equality, they could be among the best judges of the zodiac as well.

Cancer people are emotional and nurturing. The law would be a draining profession on someone who was so sensitive, so I think they'd be great handling the types of cases where they could do the most good. This sign would be best at family law, as well as any type of litigation that is done in favor of children. Cancers are very affected by home and family well-being, and would like to provide the best possible service for people who need family help as well. They would make good defense lawyers as they pour their hearts out to those in need of help.

Leo loves the spotlight, and thrives in any atmosphere where he or she gets to step up and talk! Because of this, a Leo would do well in any circumstance where the legal case is famous, or involves celebrities and popular causes. Leo would be fantastic arguing in court, or good at giving speeches and convincing a jury, with their flair for the dramatic. It doesn't really matter if they're on the winning or losing side, as long as Leo is getting the recognition!

Virgos are definitely going to be more of the type who wants to sit behind a desk, rather than one who wishes to argue in a roomful of people. Virgos would excel at research, corporate law, and civil suits. They would do well in health-related lawsuits, such as the growing number of mesothelioma law firm attorneys, asbestos lawyers, or automobile accident attorneys. Virgos could also be good at teaching law to those in need of education, as their natural patience and helpfulness can be a boon to law students.

Libras are also naturally open-minded, and are represented by the scales which are a symbol of justice! Libras would be better at judging than arguing a case, though constitutional law or being a civil rights attorney would be right up their alley. Government law of all kinds would be a good focus point for Librans. Libra people like things to be fair and balanced for everyone, and would prefer to make the world a better place.

Scorpios, as everyone knows, are the dark and devious fellows of the zodiac. One would suppose, then, that they'd be excellent criminal lawyers and would be drawn to even more violent crimes, such as in murder trials. But as the sign which rules over sex and death, the Scorpio could make an excellent family lawyer or estate lawyer as well. What's more, the naturally charismatic Scorpio would be especially riveting as a trial attorney to convince the jury and judge of the validity of their client's position.

Sagittarius people are adventurous and freedom-loving. As such, they'd be fantastic arguing in front of a courtroom full of people! If you needed to find a lawyer who was good with groups, this is the one.  Their innate charisma and conviction can help to win people over. Sagittarius people would enjoy fighting for the rights of the overlooked or downtrodden, such as civil rights attorneys.

Capricorn is another sign that is best behind the desk, rather than in the courtroom. Capricorns are good at playing the devil's advocate, and thus can be quite convincing even when arguing for a case that they don't particularly favor.  You can hardly find a lawyer who's more into details than a Capricorn! They would also be adept at financial law, class-action lawsuits, and accident attorneys as well. They could also be good as car accident attorneys, personal injury lawyers, and corporate lawyers.

Aquarius places a high importance on freedom and love for their fellow humans. As a sign that's good at mingling and even managing communities, Aquarians would be the natural choice for class-action lawsuits. Because of their love of technology uniting people together, they could be especially adept at consumer law, and cyber laws as well.  It would be hard to find a lawyer of more humanitarian nature than Aquarius.

Pisces rules over the unknown and foreign, and as such, could be great for navigating crimes which are committed over state or international lines. They could also be especially savvy at helping to create and argue for new laws, or to eliminate laws which are no longer effective.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

"Rapex" Rape Prevention Device

 Saw this on Facebook today...

Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered na...tional attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.” Sometime afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.
Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.  When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.”
- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof

Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Cranky Old Man

I found this on Facebook, and thought I'd share:

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old m
an's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

How To Donate Your Car To Charity

A few weeks ago, I posted an article about cord blood donation, and how important the cord blood stem cells were for medical research.  They can also help your children recover from serious illnesses in the future, should they develop diseases that can be helped by stem cells.  However, there are all kinds of wonderful ways that you can help other people through the gift of donation.

Donating your used car to a non-profit organization is one of those ways.  It doesn't matter what condition your car is in, there are always places that are willing to take used cars -- even cars that don't run can be donated for a worthy cause.  So if you have an old junker that's taking up space in your garage (or worse!  your lawn!), consider giving it to one of the fine institutions below.

Here's a list of places that you can donate your cars, whether they run or not!

Wheels for Wishes
Helping Hands of America
Habitat For Humanity

P.S. To the people who are Googling for "donate junk car for cash" -- you are missing the point!  I think you should be looking up "SELL junk car for cash." By its very definition, the word "donate" means that you are giving something away, not selling it for a profit.  Perhaps you should try actually donating something sometime, and see how that feels.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Prophecies of Nostradamus: Century I

Century I

Sitting alone at night in secret study;
it is placed on the brass tripod.
A slight flame comes out of the emptiness and
makes successful that which should not be believed in vain.
The wand in the hand is placed in the middle of the tripod's legs.
With water he sprinkles both the hem of his garment and his foot.
A voice, fear: he trembles in his robes.
Divine splendor; the God sits nearby.
When the litters are overturned by the whirlwind
and faces are covered by cloaks,
the new republic will be troubled by its people.
At this time the reds and the whites will rule wrongly.
In the world there will be made a king
who will have little peace and a short life.
At this time the ship of the Papacy will be lost,
governed to its greatest detriment.
They will be driven away for a long drawn out fight.
The countryside will be most grievously troubled.
Town and country will have greater struggle.
Carcassonne and Narbonne will have their hearts tried.
The eye of Ravenna will be forsaken,
when his wings will fail at his feet.
The two of Bresse will have made a constitution
for Turin and Vercelli, which the French will trample underfoot
Arrived too late, the act has been done.
The wind was against them, letters intercepted on their way.
The conspirators were fourteen of a party.
By Rousseau shall these enterprises be undertaken.
How often will you be captured, O city of the sun ?
Changing laws that are barbaric and vain.
Bad times approach you. No longer will you be enslaved.
Great Hadrie will revive your veins.
From the Orient will come the African heart
to trouble Hadrie and the heirs of Romulus.
Accompanied by the Libyan fleet
the temples of Malta and nearby islands shall be deserted.
A coffin is put into the vault of iron,
where seven children of the king are held.
The ancestors and forebears will come forth from the depths of hell,
lamenting to see thus dead the fruit of their line.
The motion of senses, heart, feet and hands
will be in agreement between Naples, Lyon and Sicily.
Swords fire, floods, then the noble Romans drowned,
killed or dead because of a weak brain.
There will soon be talk of a treacherous man, who rules a short time,
quickly raised from low to high estate.
He will suddenly turn disloyal and volatile.
This man will govern Verona.
Through anger and internal hatreds, the exiles
will hatch a great plot against the king.
Secretly they will place enemies as a threat,
and his own old (adherents) will find sedition against them.
From the enslaved populace, songs, chants and demands,
while Princes and Lords are held captive in prisons.
These will in the future by headless idiots
be received as divine prayers
.Mars threatens us with the force of war
and will cause blood to be spilt seventy times.
The clergy will be both exalted and reviled moreover,
by those who wish to learn nothing of them.
A scythe joined with a pond in Sagittarius
at its highest ascendant.
Plague, famine, death from military hands;
the century approaches its renewal.
For forty years the rainbow will not be seen.
For forty years it will be seen every day.
The dry earth will grow more parched,
and there will be great floods when it is seen.
Because of French discord and negligence
an opening shall be given to the Mohammedans.
The land and sea of Siena will be soaked in blood,
and the port of Marseilles covered with ships and sails.
When the snakes surround the altar,
and the Trojan blood is troubled by the Spanish.
Because of them, a great number will be lessened.
The leader flees, hidden in the swampy marshes.
The cities of Tours, Orleans, Blois, Angers, Reims and Nantes
are troubled by sudden change.
Tents will be pitched by (people) of foreign tongues;
rivers, darts at Rennes, shaking of land and sea.
The rock holds in its depths white clay
which will come out milk-white from a cleft
Needlessly troubled people will not dare touch it,
unaware that the foundation of the earth is of clay.
A thing existing without any senses
will cause its own end to happen through artifice.
At Autun, Chalan, Langres and the two Sens
there will be great damage from hail and ice.
In the third month, at sunrise,
the Boar and the Leopard meet on the battlefield.
The fatigued Leopard looks up to heaven
and sees an eagle playing around the sun.
At the New City he is thoughtful to condemn;
the bird of prey offers himself to the Gods.
After victory he pardons his captives.
At Cremona and Mantua great hardships will be suffered.
The lost thing is discovered, hidden for many centuries.
Pasteur will be celebrated almost as a God-like figure.
This is when the moon completes her great cycle,
but by other rumors he shall be dishonored.
The great man will be struck down in the day by a thunderbolt.
An evil deed, foretold by the bearer of a petition.
According to the prediction another falls at night time.
Conflict at Reims, London, and pestilence in Tuscany.
Beneath the oak tree of Gienne, struck by lightning,
the treasure is hidden not far from there.
That which for many centuries had been gathered,
when found, a man will die, his eye pierced by a spring.
Tobruk will fear the barbarian fleet for a time,
then much later the Western fleet.
Cattle, people, possessions, all will be quite lost.
What a deadly combat in Taurus and Libra.
When the fish that travels over both land and sea
is cast up on to the shore by a great wave,
its shape foreign, smooth and frightful.
From the sea the enemies soon reach the walls.
Because of the storm at sea the foreign ship
will approach an unknown port.
Notwithstanding the signs of the palm branches,
afterwards there is death and pillage. Good advice comes too late.
The wars in France will last for so many years
beyond the reign of the Castulon kings.
An uncertain victory will crown three great ones,
the Eagle, the Cock, the Moon, the Lion, the Sun in its house.
The great Empire will soon be exchanged
for a small place, which soon will begin to grow.
A small place of tiny area
in the middle of which he will come to lay down his scepter.
Near a great bridge near a spacious plain
the great lion with the Imperial forces
will cause a falling outside the austere city.
Through fear the gates will be unlocked for him.
The bird of prey flying to the left,
before battle is joined with the French, he makes preparations.
Some will regard him as good, others bad or uncertain.
The weaker party will regard him as a good omen.
The young lion will overcome the older one,
in a field of combat in single fight:
He will pierce his eyes in their golden cage;
two wounds in one, then he dies a cruel death.
Too late the king will repent
that he did not put his adversary to death.
But he will soon come to agree to far greater things
which will cause all his line to die.
Shortly before sun set, battle is engaged.
A great nation is uncertain.
Overcome, the sea port makes no answer,
the bridge and the grave both in foreign places.
The Sun and the Eagle will appear to the victor.
An empty answer assured to the defeated.
Neither bugle nor shouts will stop the soldiers.
Liberty and peace, if achieved in time through death.
At night the last one will be strangled in his bed
because he became too involved with the blond heir elect.
The Empire is enslaved and three men substituted.
He is put to death with neither letter nor packet read.
The false trumpet concealing madness
will cause Byzantium to change its laws.
From Egypt there will go forth a man who wants
the edict withdrawn, changing money and standards.
The city is besieged and assaulted by night;
few have escaped; a battle not far from the sea.
A woman faints with joy at the return of her son,
poison in the folds of the hidden letters.
The tenth day of the April Calends, calculated in Gothic fashion
is revived again by wicked people.
The fire is put out and the diabolic gathering
seek the bones of the demon of Psellus.
Before the Empire changes
a very wonderful event will take place.
The field moved, the pillar of porphyry
put in place, changed on the gnarled rock.
In a short time sacrifices will be resumed,
those opposed will be put (to death) like martyrs.
The will no longer be monks, abbots or novices.
Honey shall be far more expensive than wax.
A founder of sects, much trouble for the accuser:
A beast in the theater prepares the scene and plot.
The author ennobled by acts of older times;
the world is confused by schismatic sects.
Very near Auch, Lectoure and Mirande
a great fire will fall from the sky for three nights.
The cause will appear both stupefying and marvelous;
shortly afterwards there will be an earthquake.
The speeches of Lake Leman will become angered,
the days will drag out into weeks,
then months, then years, then all will fail.
The authorities will condemn their useless powers.
When twenty years of the Moon's reign have passed
another will take up his reign for seven thousand years.
When the exhausted Sun takes up his cycle
then my prophecy and threats will be accomplished.
Long before these happenings
the people of the East, influenced by the Moon,
in the year 1700 will cause many to be carried away,
and will almost subdue the Northern area.
From the three water signs will be born a man
who will celebrate Thursday as his holiday.
His renown, praise, rule and power will grow
on land and sea, bringing trouble to the East.
The head of Aries, Jupiter and Saturn.
Eternal God, what changes !
Then the bad times will return again after a long century;
what turmoil in France and Italy.
Two evil influences in conjunction in Scorpio.
The great lord is murdered in his room.
A newly appointed king persecutes the Church,
the lower (parts of) Europe and in the North.
Alas, how we will see a great nation sorely troubled
and the holy law in utter ruin.
Christianity (governed) throughout by other laws,
when a new source of gold and silver is discovered.
Two revolutions will be caused by the evil scythe bearer
making a change of reign and centuries.
The mobile sign thus moves into its house:
Equal in favor to both sides.
In the land with a climate opposite to Babylon
there will be great shedding of blood.
Heaven will seem unjust both on land and sea and in the air.
Sects, famine, kingdoms, plagues, confusion.
Sooner and later you will see great changes made,
dreadful horrors and vengeances.
For as the moon is thus led by its angel
the heavens draw near to the Balance.
The trumpet shakes with great discord.
An agreement broken: lifting the face to heaven:
the bloody mouth will swim with blood;
the face anointed with milk and honey lies on the ground.
Through a slit in the belly a creature will be born with two heads
and four arms: it will survive for some few years.
The day that Alquiloie celebrates his festivals
Fossana, Turin and the ruler of Ferrara will follow.
The exiles deported to the islands
at the advent of an even more cruel king
will be murdered. Two will be burnt
who were not sparing in their speech.
An Emperor will be born near Italy,
who will cost the Empire very dearly.
They will say, when they see his allies,
that he is less a prince than a butcher.
The wretched, unfortunate republic
will again be ruined by a new authority.
The great amount of ill will accumulated in exile
will make the Swiss break their important agreement.
Alas! what a great loss there will be to learning
before the cycle of the Moon is completed.
Fire, great floods, by more ignorant rulers;
how long the centuries until it is seen to be restored.
Pestilences extinguished, the world becomes smaller,
for a long time the lands will be inhabited peacefully.
People will travel safely through the sky (over) land and seas:
then wars will start up again.
At night they will think they have seen the sun,
when the see the half pig man:
Noise, screams, battles seen fought in the skies.
The brute beasts will be heard to speak.
A child without hands, never so great a thunderbolt seen,
the royal child wounded at a game of tennis.
At the well lightning strikes, joining together
three trussed up in the middle under the oaks.
He who then carries the news,
after a short while will (stop) to breathe:
Viviers, Tournon, Montferrand and Praddelles;
hail and storms will make them grieve.
The great famine which I sense approaching
will often turn (in various areas) then become worldwide.
It will be so vast and long lasting that (they) will grab
roots from the trees and children from the breast.
O to what a dreadful and wretched torment
are three innocent people going to be delivered.
Poison suggested, badly guarded, betrayal.
Delivered up to horror by drunken executioners.
The great mountain, seven stadia round,
after peace, war, famine, flooding.
It will spread far, drowning great countries,
even antiquities and their mighty foundations.
Rain, famine and war will not cease in Persia;
too great a faith will betray the monarch.
Those (actions) started in France will end there,
a secret sign for on to be sparing.
The marine tower will be captured and retaken three times
by Spaniards, Barbarians and Ligurians.
Marseilles and Aix, Ales by men of Pisa,
devastation, fire, sword, pillage at Avignon by the Turinese.
The inhabitants of Marseilles completely changed,
fleeing and pursued as far as Lyons.
Narbonne, Toulouse angered by Bordeaux;
the killed and captive are almost one million.
France shall be accused of neglect by her five partners.
Tunis, Algiers stirred up by the Persians.
Leon, Seville and Barcelona having failed,
they will not have the fleet because of the Venetians.
After a rest they will travel to Epirus,
great help coming from around Antioch.
The curly haired king will strive greatly for the Empire,
the brazen beard will be roasted on a spit.
The tyrant of Siena will occupy Savona,
having won the fort he will restrain the marine fleet.
Two armies under the standard of Ancona:
the leader will examine them in fear.
The man will be called by a barbaric name
that three sisters will receive from destiny.
He will speak then to a great people in words and deeds,
more than any other man will have fame and renown.
A promontory stands between two seas:
A man who will die later by the bit of a horse;
Neptune unfurls a black sail for his man;
the fleet near Gibraltar and Rocheval.
To an old leader will be born an idiot heir,
weak both in knowledge and in war.
The leader of France is feared by his sister,
battlefields divided, conceded to the soldiers.
Bazas, Lectoure, Condom, Auch and Agen
are troubled by laws, disputes and monopolies.
Carcassone, Bordeaux, Toulouse and Bayonne will be ruined
when they wish to renew the massacre.
From the sixth bright celestial light
it will come to thunder very strongly in Burgundy.
Then a monster will be born of a very hideous beast:
In March, April, May and June great wounding and worrying.
Nine will be set apart from the human flock,
separated from judgment and advise.
Their fate is to be divided as they depart.
K. Th. L. dead, banished and scattered.
When the great wooden columns tremble
in the south wind, covered with blood.
Such a great assembly then pours forth
that Vienna and the land of Austria will tremble.
The alien nation will divide the spoils.
Saturn in dreadful aspect in Mars.
Dreadful and foreign to the Tuscans and Latins,
Greeks who will wish to strike.
The moon is obscured in deep gloom,
his brother becomes bright red in color.
The great one hidden for a long time in the shadows
will hold the blade in the bloody wound.
The king is troubled by the queen's reply.
Ambassadors will fear for their lives.
The greater of his brothers will doubly disguise his action,
two of them will die through anger, hatred and envy.
When the great queen sees herself conquered,
she will show an excess of masculine courage.
Naked, on horseback, she will pass over the river
pursued by the sword: she will have outraged her faith
Earthshaking fire from the center of the earth
will cause tremors around the New City.
Two great rocks will war for a long time,
then Arethusa will redden a new river.
The divine wrath overtakes the great Prince,
a short while before he will marry.
Both supporters and credit will suddenly diminish.
Counsel, he will die because of the shaven heads.
Those of Lerida will be in the Moselle,
kill all those from the Loire and Seine.
The seaside track will come near the high valley,
when the Spanish open every route.
Bordeaux and Poitiers at the sound of the bell
will go with a great fleet as fast as Langon.
A great rage will surge up against the French,
when a hideous monster is born near Orgon.
The Gods will make it appear to mankind
that they are the authors of a great war.
Before the sky was seen to bee free of weapons and rockets:
the greatest damage will be inflicted on the left.
Under one man peace will be proclaimed everywhere,
but not long after will be looting and rebellion.
Because of a refusal, town, land and see will be broached.
About a third of a million dead or captured.
The Italian lands near the mountains will tremble.
The Cock and the Lion not strongly united.
In place of fear they will help each other.
Freedom alone moderates the French.
The tyrant Selim will be put to death at the harbor
but Liberty will not be regained, however.
A new war arises from vengeance and remorse.
A lady is honored through force of terror.
In front of a monastery will be found a twin infant
from the illustrious and ancient line of a monk.
His fame, renown and power through sects and speech
is such that they will say the living twin is deservedly chosen.
A man will be charged with the destruction
of temples and sects, altered by fantasy.
He will harm the rocks rather than the living,
ears filled with ornate speeches.
That which neither weapon nor flame could accomplish
will be achieved by a sweet speaking tongue in council.
Sleeping, in a dream, the king will see
the enemy not in war or of military blood.
The leader who will conduct great numbers of people
far from their skies, to foreign customs and language.
Five thousand will die in Crete and Thessaly,
the leader fleeing in a sea going supply ship.
The great king will join
with two kings, united in friendship.
How the great household will sigh:
around Narbon what pity for the children.
For a long time a gray bird will be seen in the sky
near Dôle and the lands of Tuscany.
He holds a flowering branch in his beak,
but he dies too soon and the war ends.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Having an Awesome Life: Lesson #4, Hilarity Ensues

Today is April Fool's Day, which perfectly coincides with my newest Awesome Life Lesson.  And that, in a nutshell is:  Laugh your ass off.

Have you ever seen the way that kids can giggle and practically make themselves ill with laughter?  Could you do that as a child?  I can remember some vivid incidents where I laughed so hard that I peed my pants.  And I'm not embarrassed to admit it, either.  (Well, maybe a little.) 

As adults, we need to get those pants-peeing laughter moments back into our lives.  This time around, though, most of us are old enough to control our bodily functions.  It's not always an easy thing to do... the laughing part, I mean.  Hopefully the peeing part is much more simple nowadays.

If you have family and friends, you probably share certain facets of your humor with them.  Why not explore that funny, silly side of yourself?  Read and tell jokes.  Even if they're stupid, I bet you'll get a few smiles and giggles -- if only for how silly you are while telling them.  Laugh at yourself, and laugh at one another.  Good-naturedly, though, of course.  Get silly.  Stop worrying so much about looking cool to other people, and start enjoying yourself.  (And anyway, isn't it soooooo much cooler to not give a crap what people think?)

Watch a movie that looks hilarious to you.  Read funny books.  Go back and remember the funniest moments of your entire life -- or some of the things you used to take seriously, which you can now laugh as they come into better perspective.  Check the internet for things that give you a chuckle.  I won't judge you if your idea of humor is Scumbag Steve or those insufferable Lolcats, though I'm partial to Success Kid memes and The Daily Bunny, which tend to be a cute-funny hybrid.  If you aren't sure where to start, type "funny" into your favorite search engine, and see what pops up.

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