Having an Awesome Life: Lesson #8, Keep It Real

You might notice that the drawing style for this month's Awesome Life affirmation is a little different than those from the months before it.  Well, there's a reason for that.

In a world that often seems to push a homogenized lifestyle, uniqueness is given a rather low value at times.  But there's no way around it: we're all different.  Every person on this planet has unique traits, qualities, abilities, and thoughts.  There's nothing wrong with being a special snowflake, is there?  Of course not!

An emotion that many people seem to experience is fear of rejection.  We often worry that the ways that we may be different from others will alienate us; our values, thoughts, or lifestyles will drive other people away or cause us pain because we will not be accepted.  While there's always the risk of experiencing disapproval from those around us, it's also important to be able to look in the mirror each day and realize that you are living your true will.

As long as you're not infringing on other people's rights to safety and happiness, there is nothing at all wrong with keeping it real.  In fact, there's a lot of good that comes out of being yourself and meeting life on your own unique terms.  It is very satisfying to be admired and respected for being your own original self.

Learn what makes you special and unique.  Keep it real!

Spiritual Awakening: The Dark Side

In some cases, an individual will experience an extremely intense spiritual awakening, which can also be likened to a spiritual emergency or crisis.  This is because the person cannot handle the experience.  The individual may not realize or understand what is happening to him or her.  Some people may mistakenly feel or believe that they are invincible, as if they have reached a point of ultimate enlightenment which disconnects them from reality.  I have heard some stories about people who have experienced a spiritual emergency due to loss or moments of extreme crisis, and have experienced moments of madness with this awakening.

A spiritual awakening can also come spontaneously to someone through a life-altering event, such as a medical problem like epilepsy, a stroke, or other condition that involves extreme pain or physical trauma.  A near-death experience can trigger a religious experience as well.  Psychosis, schizophrenia, and depression can not only cause a sacred experience, but can also be triggered by the spiritual awakening as well in people who are predisposed to mental illness.

Some people attempt to coax a spiritual awakening through drug use or dangerous meditation practices that I cannot recommend.  A spiritual experience can make someone feel a flood of very powerful, intense emotions and sensations all at once.  If the person is not yet ready for this experience, he or she can encounter physical, emotional, or mental health problems which may continue to be present long after the spiritual awakening has come and gone.  The individual may have reached a point of enlightenment or connection with the divine for a fleeting moment, but must also pay for these experiences with a lifetime of difficulties in return.  It is much better to allow the divine love of the universe to come to you and flow through you when you are truly ready, rather than simply when you feel you are ready.  For these reasons, I must recommend that you do not rush or force your awakening.  Instead, let it come at just the right moment; your higher power will know when you are ready to handle the experience.

How To Deal With the Loss of a Pet

Here's a picture of my beloved Clovis, who will have been gone for 10 years today.  She was my first bunny, and I can't tell you how much I lover her still.  What an amazing girl she was!  She was only 4 pounds, but this Holland Lop taught me about bunnies, and a lot about myself too.  Even now, I know she's watching over me from the beyond.

Not everyone can understand how it feels to lose a cherished pet.  Whether you're experiencing with the loss of your cat, trying to handle the death of your dog, or dealing with losing another pet who has passed away, the shock of grief can be surprising to you.  Perhaps you did not expect this loss to affect you the way it is doing.  However, many people across the world have experienced this pain.  You're not alone.  We all need a hand in dealing with our pain sometimes.  Here are a few tips to help you get through this difficult time.  

Give yourself ample time to grieve.  This cannot be overstated!  Folks who are not animal lovers will never understand.  Even though our pets are not humans, they are are still a part of our family.  You won't feel better overnight, so allow yourself a few days to get over the initial shock and grief.  If you can take a day or two off of work, go for it.  Take a "mental health day" or two if you feel that you need it.  Give yourself a bit of time to feel your emotions and to adjust.

Talk with others who will understand.  Not everyone is going to acknowledge that your pet is worth mourning.  I still remember when my favorite rat, who had lived almost 3 years, passed suddenly when I was across the country.  I got the phone call from my brother, and later when my great-grandmother called me to see how I was doing, she said "You shouldn't feel that way about an animal."  (I loved my Gram dearly, but she just wasn't an animal person!)  When Clovis was ill in the hospital, one of my in-laws told me not to worry, I can just buy a "Clovis #2" if she didn't make it.  Neither of these statements were meant to make me feel bad; they both came from people who love me!  But some folks will get it, and some won't.  It's a lot better to talk about your pet (and your feelings) with those who do get it.  Anything less will just make you feel worse, belittle your feelings (unintentionally, I'm sure!), and just piss you off unnecessarily.  

Share the memories with folks who knew your pet.  This is a common healing technique that people often use with their kids, when a beloved dog or cat dies.  But why limit it to young people, when it can be beneficial to just about anyone?  Talk about the good times.  Remember the funny things that your cat used to do.  Talk about how cute your dog was when you first brought him home.  Look at pictures, tell stories, and enjoy the stroll down memory lane.  Remembering is a wonderful way to begin healing after the loss of your pet.

Keep their things close by.  You'd think that this might make it hurt more, but in those first days after your pet dies, having their toys, their special blankie, or their other important items near can actually be comforting to you.  Over time, you may want to start boxing up their things.  Toss some of them if and when you feel ready.  You can also donate things that are still good, or maybe just save their things.  I still have Clovis's "bunny bed" (it was actually a small dog bed that she'd snooze on in the living room sometimes), and her soft stuffed carrot that squeaks -- a full decade later!  I also have my Seamus's "cone of shame" from the bunny vet.  I don't think I'll ever give them away.  Right now, they're in my storage space, but it feels nice just knowing I can visit them whenever I feel the need.

When you're feeling ready, adopt a new pet!  I know you'd feel like you're "cheating" on them... but after a suitable time, you may want to open your heart and home to a new dog or cat.  The loss of a pet can be traumatic and upsetting, but after your pet has died, you may find that you want to get a new one at some point.  I waited about six weeks after Clovis died; I knew that she would have wanted me to adopt a bunny who was homeless, and who needed me.  We wound up adopting two, and they were with us for seven great years!  (And after they were gone, we adopted two more bunnies!)  Knowing Clovis gave 4 other bunnies the chance to be adopted and loved!  When your pet dies, try to think of what would do the best good.  Taking that into consideration can help you to make the right decision.

The Powers of Aquamarine

Aquamarines are beautiful, valuable, and very powerful!  Named for the blue-green shades of the ocean which are remeniscent of this gem's beautiful hues, the aquamarine is part of the beryl family.  These crystal gemstones are often found near deposits of tungsten and tin ore, and beryls can come in an array of beautiful shades like greens, blues, yellows, and reds.

The words "aqua marina" mean "water of the sea."  The turquoise shade of aquamarines make it a stunning and desireable stone for jewelry; at the turn of the 19th century, it was extremely prized and often paired with silver.  This stone is associated with the month of March and the element of water.

This gem is a wonderful stone for healing all parts of the body, though it is said to be especially effective for the heart, circulatory system, and immune system.  It is also thought to be healing to the eyesight, as gazing upon the stone can produce a soothing and calming effect on the eyes.

It is also healing for emotional issues, too.  Aquamarine is an ideal talisman when used to level one's moods, as well as to help one to open up and share his or her feelings.  Many blue-toned gemstones have had legendary powers to cool and subdue harsh feelings like anger and aggression; this one is no exception, having the power to relax and soothe hurt feelings.  Aquamarine can also enhance psychic visions and mental clarity, as well as to enhance the inner charisma of whomever chooses to wear it.

The Other Face of Clark Rockefeller (Christian Gerharsreiter)

The "Clark Rockefeller" mystery is one of the more compelling stories of the past few decades.  Some may wonder how this man was able to fool his wife, with whom he was so close and intimate, for so long.

In the Lifetime movie, Who Is Clark Rockefeller?, there were many instances of foreshadowing which gave the viewer some helpful hints.  If you're experiencing any of these issues with someone that you suspect may be betraying you (though more likely on a smaller scale than this!), do not hesitate to investigate further.

Here are some of the clues that appear in the movie; some may apply to your own situation as well:

Changing stories:  His stories constantly changed.  At one time, he was trying to work with his uncle, David, but then in later stories, he told Sandra that David was actually his cousin.  And in another instance... first, his mother was a "horsey set" debutante by the name of Mary.  Then, in another story, Clark mentioned that his mother was child actress Ann Carter. 

Crazy-making:  When Sandra Boss called him on the discrepancy about his mother, he gave her a look as if she were ridiculous and quipped, "I think I know my own mother's name!"

Lack of proof:  The Rockefeller in-laws never materialized.  Clark would casually mention this or that relative as if he'd just spoken to them, yet Sandra was never introduced to them.  Reigh also didn't get the opportunity to met them.  Clark never shared his personal information with Sandra, such as his social security number or contact information for his family, citing "strange" privacy issues.

In hindsight, it's easy to see these discrepancies and issues.  However, from the day-to-day living, these things are so close to home that it may be hard to zoom out and see them for the lies that they are.

Some people have called Sandra Boss gullible, stupid, and "unsympathetic."  However, my heart goes out to her.  Once you accept certain things, however dysfunctional the relationship, it becomes easier and easier to blur the line between what is acceptable and what is unacceptable.  She was only one of so many people that Christian Gerhartsreiter fooled.  It is human nature to want to accept the truth of the person that we love, and to want to believe the words that they say.  I think that victims of similar ploys, even if orchestrated by less adept transgressors, will also have some sympathy for a woman who has had to endure such betrayal.

So many people have been taken in by far less competent liars than "Clark Rockefeller."  Lying and betraying someone in this way is a terrible form of emotional abuse.  Protect yourself.  And when you find someone who is truly worthy of your trust, you can feel much more confident in giving it to them as you know what to expect.

Many have been intrigued by the tale, wondering who the real Clark Rockefeller is and where he came from.  Christian Gerhartsreiter's kidnapping of his daughter was his undoing as his true identity became known.  The public will learn even more secrets about Clark Rockefeller (or Christian Gerhartsreiter)'s life will come to light his trial for murdering Jonathan Sohus and Linda Sohus begins soon.