"How To Win a Boyfriend"

Recently, I was doing some "winter cleaning" and found a bunch of interesting old artifacts from way back when.  Included in this was vintage-y "self-help" style pamphlet for teenage girls, which seemed to come from the 1970s or 1980s, that I assume used to belong to a relative as a young one in that era.  While a lot of the advice seems to be extremely outdated and hilarious, there are some good nuggets of timeless wisdom intertwined, mainly about being true to one's values and caring for others.  There is no copyright information, but I've decided to type it all out and share it with you for your amusement.  Enjoy!


How To Win a Boyfriend

The only way to have a friend is to be one.  Make friends with people you have something in common with, like hiking or music.  If you want to be friends with Jaime because she's always cheerful, ask yourself what makes her that way and imitate her.


Get involved in activities at school, house of worship, and in your neighborhood.  Don't stay home because no one will hurt your feelings that way.  Go to concerts, plays, and community activities.  Join the school swim team or act in the school play.  Volunteer to work your church spaghetti supper.  And if your next-door neighbor is selling homegrown vegetables from a stand at the end of her driveway, offer to help.

What are you doing?  What any sensible business person does.  You are building a network of contacts that will pay off later when people invite you to parties and football games.


But just going places isn't enough.  You need to act alive, to really enjoyy ourelf, to have fun.  Even though you are shy, people may misinterpret that shyness as conceity.  Smile, laugh, and take part in conversations.


If you feel out of place at school dances, join the committee that sets up the chairs and provides the refreshments.  Work does more than take your mind off your shyness.  It allows you to feel part of the action and gives you coruage.  Act like you belong there and people will assume you belong there.  So will you and the confidence will radiate like a light that everyone will see.


Remember, enthusiasm attacts enthusiastic people.  Keep a positive attitude.  Don't be offended if someone rejects your advances.  Everyone gets turned down.  They don't lock themselves in their rooms.  They get out and try again.  You are worthy of other people's affection and if you treat others well, tey will see that you're the kind of person they want to hang out with.


A positive attitude is related to another important part of the puzzle.  It's called positive imaging.


Always try to act with grace, dignity, and maturity.  Don't think you have al of that?  You do, although it might be buried beneath the surface.  Here's a hint:  Think of someone you admire and respect.  Create a vision of that person in your mind, an image of that person performing well in a difficult situation.  Whar does he or she do to cope?  Adopt that style.


One word of caution.  Smiling and acting friendly doesn't mean bending over backwards for all people all of the time.  Are you sure you want to become friends with the kids who do drugs and get into trouble?  How will the attention they give you make you a better person?  They may seem to like you if you do favors for them, but when they're tired of using you, they'll dump you just like they did to others in your school.


Before you do them any favors ask yourself this:  Will I feel guilty or ashamed of what I'm about to do?  If the answer is yes, don't do it.  There are people who would be glad to have you as a friend, just the way you are.  


Now that you've landed some new friends, you have to take care of them or they and your old friends will slip away.  How do you keep friends?  The same way you attract them:


* Be a friend all of the time.  Listen to your friends' problems.  Smile and nod to show you understand.  Defend them from unjust attacks.  If they need a favor, offer your help.  If they need more than you can give, know your limits; suggest they talk to their parents, their minister, or the school counselor.


* Don't badmouth people behind their backs.  This gives both them and you a bad reputation.  If someone did this to you, it would hurt, so why do it to a potential friend?  If a person has hurt your feelings, talk it over with him or her.  Don't accuse or attack.  Say you value the persons friendship and that you want to work things out.  Talk is not cheap; it is one of the most valuable things you can do.


*  You have worked hard to feel good about yourself and you have a right to brag a little.  But don't carry it too far.  If your new friends misinterpret your pride as a belief that you're better than everyone else, they'll try to take you down a peg.

Reflections For Winter

The winter solstice is, of course, the one day of the year when our side of the Earth is tilted furthest away from the sun.  It is the darkest day of the year; a time when we have the least amount of daylight, and the longest night of all.

Winter has various spiritual meanings in all sorts of different cultures.  Many of these deal with rebirth, as the ground is covered with cold snow, you must keep in mind that the soil beneath all of that cold, hard ice is filled with the greenery to come.  It is incubating beneath the ground and preparing for the day when it shoots outward and upward.  This is an excellent metaphor for what I like to do each winter; I tend to use it as both a "wrap up" of the year -- taking stock of all that I've accomplished, keeping careful records of what has proven itself to be effective and what has not -- and as a planning stage to prepare for the upcoming seasons.

I enjoy the comforts and festivities of winter as well; I keep warm, I enjoy time with my family.  I shop, I cook, I decorate for the holidays a bit.  I create a warm, safe, loving little nest to shield those whom I love from the harsh, cold world outside. It feels nice to think of my home as a wonderfully safe haven for weary travellers and those who need to forget their troubles just for a little while; the wintry winds blow bitterly outside, yet within my home is a cozy fireplace and a hot cup of tea to welcome all who enters my little world.  (What can I say, I'm a consummate hostess!)  And, while I'm enjoying the warmth and laughter of the people who are closest to and most loved by me in all the world, I'm planning my moves for the year to come.  Winter is the ideal time for being slow, and still, and festive; yet still being productive and accomplishing much with all of the zeal and zest for life what one possesses.


Photo credits:  Thanks so much to David Blackwell and timo_w2s for their breathtaking winter photos!

My Deepest Thanks!

I work really hard to make my blog a beautiful, informative, and interesting place to be.  However, I certainly don't do it alone!  A lot of wonderful sources have made this blog possible.  Some of the photos are mine, but many pieces of clip art & public domain images have come from the following sources.

PDClipart.org Lovely clip art of all types! Illustrations, photos, and more.
The Flickr Commons for amazing historical images and other publically available graphics.
Public-Domain-Photos.Com user-submitted public domain images for any purpose.
Public-Domain-Image.Com One of my favorite sites with all sorts of hidden gems.
Kohler's Medical For botanical illustrations.
Reusable Art Vintage art that's truly beautiful!
ARS A government website with public domain images.

Healing Words For a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

Recently I was asked to give someone an update on a friend who hadn't been seen in a year, though who certainly hadn't been forgotten.  My impressions on this subject were that the person in question wasn't so good for this querent to begin with, and that there was quite a lot of secret dealings going on without her knowledge or understanding.

In life, we meet all sorts of different people.  As the saying goes, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."  Sometimes, a relationship is born with an expiration date... these relationships can change you for the better or for the worse.  If it's for the better, accept it and enjoy all of the good things that knowing this person has yielded.  Pass along the positivity to others.

Sometimes, however, people can come into our lives, and before we know it, things have turned to chaos.  Not everyone that we meet is going to enrich our lives in the same way.  But even the people that cross our paths who change us for the worse can be viewed as a blessing.  In the short term, an unpleasant person may have stripped away something important from us, or something that we think is important, but in the end, we are left with the freedom to rebuild.  This realization alone can help so much with putting a bad relationship into perspective, being grateful for the thing that we do have, an reprioritizing as we learn what truly is meaningful in our lives.  Such endings give us room to improve and rebuild in ways that we never would have done without such interference.  It may be difficult to believe that such hardships are actually blessings, but hardship can often make people stronger and better in the long run, as well as help people to appreciate all of the good things in life that they still have close to them.

Photo credits:
Thanks to SashaW for her lovely haunting photo, and to CarbonNYC for the gorgeous broken heart pic!

Spell Ingredients From Your Kitchen!

Spiritual work does not need to be complicated in order to yield special results.  Incorporating small rituals into your daily life can be a wonderful way to live a magickal life that keeps you in harmony with the energies around you, as well as the energies in yourself as it all grows, changes, and evolves.  

Despite what is said in many books about the countless amounts of equipment that you need, the ancients always used the most commonplace of items in their workings.  Even the legendary witch Marie Laveau would tell her peers to "use what works."  The feelings behind what you're doing are the most important; the items you use are often symbols or offerings that will help the magick manifest.

You can hunt around your local supermarket -- or your very own kitchen! -- for these easy, inexpensive, yet very effective ingredients.

1.  Garlic.  It's cheap, it's tasty, and it is powerful!  Garlic contains a natural antibiotic which helps attack "bad" bacteria when you're sick, which is probably why it is so often featured in home remedies.  You might know about garlic's legendary vampire-fighting properties, but did you know that it's great as an all-purpose negativity buster as well?  Anytime you're feeling overwhelmed with negative energy, or feeling bogged down with the feeling that someone doesn't have your best interests at heart, cook yourself a nice lunch or dinner with lots of garlic added.  (Be sure to chew some parsley or eat yogurt after the meal, to minimize the potential for garlic breath!)

2.  Salt.  Another fabulous all-purpose ingredient that you can find right in your own kitchen.  You don't need to eat salt in order to get its purifying, space-clearing properties.  My favorite way to make use of it is a lovely cleansing bath.  I tend to opt for sea salt or even epsom salts in my bath water.  I add a bit of essential oil for fragrance -- though this is completely optional -- and relax in a warm tub, allowing the cleansing properties of the salt to wash away any negative residuals.  Salt is also wonderful for purifying a space by either scattering, or forming a circle around a specific area. 

3.  Basil.  Basil is legendary for things like purification, but did you know that this green leafy herb can also help attract money and material fortune?  Fresh basil is best, but dried basil works in a pinch as well.  To use it, make a tea out of the basil by putting a handful of the fresh leaves, or a big spoonful of the dried stuff, into boiling water.  Let it steep for 15 to 20 minutes, and then drain.  You may then pour it into your bath water, or drink the tea as-is for a powerful boost of luck.

4.  Rosemary.  This one is a personal favorite of mine for culinary use!  Rosemary has a delectable scent and distinctive taste.  It is so wonderful for all sorts of things -- not just for purity and protection, but for arousing creativity, enhancing the memory, and for bringing love.  You can add fresh or dried rosemary to some hot water, place it in front of you on a table, and cover your head with a towel to breathe in all of the lovely steam (only do this for a few minutes, though. not too long!).  This is a very good way to take in the fantastic properties of this herb.  

5.  Ginger.  Another awesome herb for love and luck, and a great one for your health as well!  Ginger aids the stomach's digestion, and can also help nausea a great deal if you suffer from stomach distres.  Sprinkle powdered ginger around the outside of your home to keep trouble away.  Ginger tea can be quite calming, but is also said to aid you by opening you up to the possibilities of a new love.  You can add ginger to any spell or consumable to add "heat" and extra passion on top of your current magickal workings.  And never underestimate the power of a good gingerbread man!

6.  Chamomile.  Coming soon to a tea bag near you... this lovely flower, as I'm sure you know, packs quite a whallop when you need to calm down and give yourself a little time-out.  It helps to relax you, but did you also know that it can aid your magickal workings as well?  This is another herb that you can sprinkle around your home to keep negativity away.  Add the teabags to your warm bath; the fragrance will soothe you as the herbs work to attract love, fortune, and healing to your life.  You may also want to burn the dried flowers as incense.  I usually just purchase pure chamomile tea bags, and cut open the bags as I need them.  (CAUTION:  Porphyriacs should NOT consume anything containing chamomile!)

7.  Cinnamon.  Cinnamon has long been used for attracting good energy, love, and luck to many a practicioner.  The hot, sweet scent stimulates the senses and stirs the soul with longing.  Wearing delicious cinnamon-scented perfumes can really make a certain someone sit up and take notice!  Try steeping a few cinnamon sticks in some light oil (such as grape seed, or even extra-virgin olive oil), leave it for a few weeks, and then use the oil for cooking or to dress candles.  Cinnamon is wonderful as an incense because it raises high spiritual vibrations.  It draws money and raises protective energies as well.

Photo Credits:

Some rights reserved by Charles Haynes

Some rights reserved by The Marmot

Some rights reserved by Sebastian Mary

Some rights reserved by AndyRob