Stalked at 17 and Your True Story

One of the searches that seems to be bringing people to my blog is the movie, Stalked at 17, which is a 2012 Lifetime movie.  The main character, Angela, winds up becoming involved with a seemingly perfect guy named Chad, who has a dark past and a tendency toward unstable, destructive behavior.

The star of Stalked at 17, Taylor Spreitler, has confirmed that Stalked at 17 was not based on a particular story; she says that it is "inspired by true events," though "not a particular one."  Spreitler does add that the movie's message has merit in the real world, despite its theatrical drama; "...it's an issue," she stated.

Stalked at 17, while not based on a specific true story, was, however inspired by some events that did actually happen.  The characters of Angela and Chad are composites which are based on a number of cases of love gone bad.  Although this is just a regular fun Lifetime movie, the typical drama with a bit of a thrilling edge... this movie can still serve as a warning to us.  So many nightmarish situations arise when we behave impulsively and neglect to use our natural logic!

When we are young or feeling vulnerable, we may be more willing to become attached to someone who is less than stable.  This is how emotional manipulators and predators work: they seek out targets who are vulnerable and more likely to believe their lies and put up with their BS.

It is so important to get to know someone before making a commitment to them.  More than that, you need to know and respect yourself as well.  And, of course, if you're going to be intimate with someone, always use a condom!  The last thing that you want is to become pregnant by someone who will later use your situation to control and manipulate you.  A child ties you to that other person for at least 18 years, if not more, so you must be certain that this is what you want before entering into this type of situation with another person.  No one wants a crazy person for their baby's daddy (or mom)!

By being strong, confident, loving and respectful of yourself, you are automatically setting your own personal standards to a more reasonable level.  Remember that a child is forever, and the person with whom you share that link with will be forever linked to you, through biology and through family life.  Don't accept predatory, abusive, or threatening treatment from anyone who is trying to use or manipulate you.  By choosing healthy relationships, you're putting yourself and your potential family into the best possible situation for the future.

Command Respect & Jump-Start Your Self-Esteem!

Here are a few more ways to feel successful and great with people, while making a good impression.  Take these pieces of advice, and watch others' behavior toward you change for the better. :)

The first thing to remember is that no situation is going to be all about you.  There are always other people that are feeling the impact of just about everything.  Choose your battles wisely.  Sometimes, it's perfectly fine to put on your diva shoes and demand some extra attention.  Other times, you'll need to remember to hang back and let others have their own moments.  Pay attention, and try to show empathy toward others.  Let people know that you do care about them, their feelings, and their experiences.  People will appreciate it and remember your kindness.

As tough as it can be, actively seek out the good in others.  This can be especially effective when dealing with people you dislike -- when you have to put up with someone who annoys you, try to think of the qualities that they have which you can appreciate.  You don't have to be best friends with them, but giving them a chance, or at least acknowledging that they aren't 100% awful can go a long way toward a better relationship.

Listen to people when they speak -- really listen!  Ask them questions about what they say.  Say their names, but not too often; people like it when other people call them by name.  Use open body language; much of what we're saying is conveyed nonverbally, so remember that your physical cues are being read, whether consciously or not, by anyone with whom you are interacting.  And don't forget to give people your attention; interrupting verbally is rude, but interrupting them mentally is just as bad.  (And yes, people know when you're not mentally present.)

Having an Awesome Life: Lesson #2, Courage and the Power of Change

Courage comes in  many forms.  You don't need to be a police officer, firefighter, or a life-saving superhero to be brave.  I'm sure you've already heard the saying about how "courage is not the absence of fear, but bravery in the face of fear," so I won't bother repeating that to you now. ;)

Another thing that takes courage is changing your life.  You're reading this article, so clearly you must be interested in amping up the awesomeness of your existence.  I think this is easier said than done.  Our last lesson (#1, Positivity), helps us acknowledge what is right with our lives, instead of what is wrong with it.  But it often takes real courage to admit the truth.  There are things about everyone's lives that just plain suck.  For a few minutes, I want you to get real about those areas.  We're not going to gloss them over with phrases like "needs improvement" or "not my best quality," it is OK to say "Hey, this sucks!"  Do it right now: take some time, think of maybe four or five things in your life that really just suck.  Make a brief list and come back when you're ready.

Many people's lists revolve around things like money, relationships with other people, health, or their jobs.  Some people spend their entire lives complaining about these four things.  There's always going to be something you can't fix or change, such as a debilitating illness, or the need to pay your bills.  But there are things you can do to change your life.

I don't often talk about myself in my blog articles, but this series is different than anything I've written to date, so here's a bit of background for you:  I have a rare genetic disorder (you could call it a disease, but I hate that word) which actually does make life much tougher for me than other people. It is called X-linked Dominant Erythropoietic Protoporphyria, and I'm the genetic lottery winner; only a handful of people alive today have XDEPP.  I'm sensitive to light, which means I need to bundle up whenever I go outside.  On certain days, I get get by with pretty scarves or hats and sunglasses, and I try to glamorize it all by imagining I'm the reincarnation of Jackie O.  Nevertheless, it does suck.  I can't change it, but I can make my life a bit more comfortable by dressing it up the way I like.

This also makes me much more flexible about other things.  I have to spend a lot of time indoors because sunlight is not my friend.  And yes -- it sucks not being able to go to the beach and swim around, it sucks not to be able to just go shopping or out for coffee with my friends anytime I want.  Lengthy road trips also suck, because I'm basically held hostage by the sun.  There's no use complaining about it; I just deal with it.

But as I deal with it, I also make changes to my life so that I can enjoy what is available to me.  Since I spend lots of time indoors, I make the most of my time.  I throw parties for my friends, read avidly, play video games, cook unusual things, exercise in the house (thanks to my recumbent bike & a series of great yoga & pilates DVDs); I work hard out of my home, providing readings for many of you, tweeting, blogging, and applying my skills to various business tasks.  I enjoy time inside my "bubble."  This is the environment I create for myself.  On good days, I get to go visit other people, have coffee, see live music, go on the occasional vacation, and of course, go see my healthcare providers.  I am always changing and evolving inside my bubble.  And, in recent years, as I've begun to manage my health issues better -- to my delight, the bubble is expanding, too.  Anyone can expand their bubble.  Try to seek areas that are just out of your comfort zone, and soon they will be a part of the bubble too.

Change.  Grow.  Find exciting and pleasurable things to fill the holes.  It's fine to look through the positive lens, but sometimes you also need to actively seek more for yourself.  You deserve it!

Moon Phases for Spiritual Work

The best spiritual works tend to ebb and flow with the changes in nature.  One of the easiest ways to set your spiritual clock is to wait for nightfall, and look up -- let the moon be your guide!

Here are a few clues as to how to use those moon phases to your advantage:

New Moon (also known as "Dark of the Moon")
When the sky is void of a moon, it is like having a do-over.  This is the perfect clean slate; spellcasters can use this phase to help remove unwanted elements in his or her life.  It is perfect for cleansing and banishing negative energies.  Remember, though, that when there's an empty space in your life, it must be filled.  Try to do so with positive, healing energies and thoughts.

Waxing Crescent
This is when the moon begins to grow.  It's the perfect time to do spiritual work involving nurturing, growing, and creating.  This phase is particularly useful for spells of personal power, protection, monetary abundance, and the improving of friendships and other relationships.  Constructive and positive work will be enhanced during this time.

First Quarter
Between the new and full moon comes the First Quarter.  This is the middle of the waxing phase, when the moon is "half cooked."  As the moon continues to grow in size, you may find the best time for attracting and pulling positivity toward your life.  Love spells and personal power spells flourish during this time.

Waxing Gibbous
The moon is getting bigger and approaching full-moon status.  If you have any loose ends (such as unfinished spells or other spiritual work), this is the appropriate time to bring those to a natural conclusion.  You may also wish to use this phase to plan ahead in what you'd like your future spellwork to include.  Some also say that either Gibbous phase is an excellent time for divination and for doing protective spells or prayers.

Full Moon
A full moon is famous (or perhaps infamous?) for its mystical power.  This is a perfect time for meditation and to gain strength.  It's a wonderful time for practices that require the most powerful and potent magicks.  If you're looking to use the power of the full moon in your spells, check the moon phase information for your area online and try not to wait until the full moon begins waning.  (NOTE:  Sometimes, a Blue Moon will occur; this is when a month has two full moons instead of just one.  Use that extra full moon well.  It can add a special power boost to your favorite full-moon spells!)

Waning Gibbous
For those negative or annoying influences in your life, you will do best to banish them during the waning parts of the moon's phases.  The waning gibbous, being the largest waning phase, can help with the really troublesome issues that you need to conquer.  Just as with the waxing gibbous, it is always a good time for divination, as well.

Last Quarter
As the moon begins to finish its cycle, you can use this time to seek balance.  Focusing on eliminating negativity, while restoring positivity, and replacing the bad with the good, can be especially effective at this time of the month.

Waning Crescent
As you're waiting for the new moon to arrive, you can use this waning crescent for banishment of illness, depression, and to prevent harm against others.  It is a cleansing and reflective time.  You may also want to use this phase as inspiration to tie up loose ends and finish anything that you've been procrastinating.

The Beauty & Mystery of Carmen

The name "Carmen" is an ancient and beautiful one.  In Hebrew, it means "garden" or "orchard," and in ancient Latin it is the word for "song."

Carmen is actually an age-old spell or incantation which was often sung by priests in ancient Rome.  It is one of the oldest known prayers in world history.  Some libraries have preserved books containing this old incantation, which is also known as the Carmen Arvale or Carmen Saliare.

The words to the Carmen Arvale are as such:

enos Lases iuvate
enos Lases iuvate
enos Lases iuvate

neve lue rue Marmar sins incurrere in pleoris
neve lue rue Marmar sins incurrere in pleoris
neve lue rue Marmar sins incurrere in pleoris

satur fu, fere Mars, limen sali, sta berber
satur fu, fere Mars, limen sali, sta berber
satur fu, fere Mars, limen sali, sta berber

semunis alterni advocapit conctos
semunis alterni advocapit conctos
semunis alterni advocapit conctos

enos Marmor iuvato
enos Marmor iuvato
enos Marmor iuvato

triumpe triumpe triumpe triumpe triumpe

The traditional interpretation of this chant is that it is a prayer to Mars, the ancient god of war and agriculture.  The incantation also asks for help from the Lares, who are ancient guardians of the home and the fields, as well as the sacred harvesters, "Semones," which were like ancient patron saints.  The chant wards against plague and other natural disasters, asking Mars to be happy and satisfied with the farmers' work, and to help the Semones protect the people as they tend their fields.

Meanwhile, the Carmen Saliare goes like this:

divum  empta cante, divum deo supplicate
cume tonas, Leucesie,    prae tet tremonti
quot ibet etinei de is cum tonarem
cozeulodorieso. omnia vero adpatula coemisse.
ian cusianes duonus ceruses dunus Ianusve
vet pom melios eum recumcarmen Saliare
divum empta cante,    divum deo supplicate
cume tonas, Leucesie,    prae tet tremonti
quot ibet etinei de is cum tonarem
cozeulodorieso. omnia vero adpatula coemisse.
ian cusianes duonus ceruses dunus Ianusve
vet pom melios eum recum

Not all of the words are able to be translated.  However, the words which scholars recognize involve thunder, god Janus and goddess Ceres.  It is thought that this song is a hymn of praise to these gods and their might.