Love is the most powerful force on Earth. Sure, you can argue that other feelings are more important, and indeed they all play their own roles in our time here. However, love is truly the tie than binds us to one another. When we experience the loss of that love through a breakup, a death, or some other unforseen circumstance, the pain can be so intense that we feel as if we may never recover from that loss. While it's true that you may never again be the same after this experience, there are ways to heal and to move on with your life.
The first step is to understand that love will often change our perception of the way that things are. I'm not saying that your relationship has distorted your view on reality, but perhaps the bond that you shared with someone else may not have been as strong as you previously thought. It may have been other feelings mingled in with that love -- dependency, comfort, sexual passion, a shared commitment towards your family, or any number of other life changes. Most relationships will end sooner or later; love does not always last. If you experienced a breakup, then naturally there were problems on your end, on the other end, or both. Focusing on the reasons that the relationship ended will give you a new sense of perspective and acceptance. From this, the healing can begin.
Your heart may feel as though the emotional wounds might never heal. However, you must understand that with time, the hurt and the sorrow that you are experiencing will subside. As I said before, you will not be the same person. But you will definitely grow stronger from the experience, and as time goes by, you will begin to heal and feel more like your regular self again. Give yourself the time to grieve. If you're sad, acknowledge those feelings -- don't just stuff them inside. Express them. Feel them. Yes, it will be painful. However, being able to acknowledge the hurt and the despair in the wake of this loss is a vital part of the grieving process.
The most important part of this process is to always keep in mind that with each passing day, you are healing more and more. Just like a physical wound, it will hurt just a little less every day. And, like a bodily ailment, you need to nourish yourself with the things that are needed to help the healing process -- and to avoid things which are bad for you.
The funny thing about a broken heart is that you won't always feel like it's broken. There will be times when you feel sad, no doubt, but there will also be times that you feel guilty, angry or even relieved. But, until you are completely over your former partner, you can be sure that there is some heart break playing a role in your emotions. So, how do you go about mending a broken heart?
To be blunt, you need to confront the problem. While you may be able to take temporary comfort in denial, it will only delay things from getting better. You have to be completely honest with yourself and how you feel.
Being honest is the only way you will be able to work things out. It won't be easy, but you need to figure out why you feel so heartbroken. Do you feel betrayed by your ex? Do you feel you betrayed them? Was there a death? Were they unfaithful? Do you feel guilty? Do you think you could have done more? Do you think you did all you could, and just can't understand why you broke up anyway? Whatever it is, identifying the real problem is the key to solving it.
Once you have figured out what the root of your broken heart is, you can fix it. For example, if you're feeling guilty, then you need to forgive yourself. But if it was something your partner did, then you need to forgive them. You have to be willing to do whatever it is that needs to be done.
You also need to be realistic about mending a broken heart. Because it isn't always easy, you may not be able to do it on your own. If you find you're just not getting any better, then it may be time to seek help from a counselor...again, whatever it takes. Give it time and face it head on, and you will be feeling better before you know it.
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