The Futility of Blaming Yourself and Others

The common saying goes, "When you point a finger at someone else, you have three more pointing back at you."  It's true that many folks tend to use the power of blame as a weapon against being wrong, taking responsibility, and losing the current argument!  And many times, the person who's doing the blaming tends to be at least as responsible for the problem on the table.

Naturally, there is a difference between misplacing blame on others, and legitimate blame which falls squarely in the court of a transgressor who has made mistakes (or consciously detrimental choices).  However, in the moment of crisis, blaming others is not really a very productive way to handle things.  If you are being blamed, you must clean up your own mess.  If the mess is the fault of another, you need to decide:  is this action going to help the situation?  Or will it make things worse?  Most of the time, a bad situation really needs to be handled before adding another layer of problems on top of what already exists.

Once your mess has been cleaned up, it is then time for the offending parties to take responsibility for his or her actions.  If that's you, take your medicine.  Learn.  Make amends in whatever reasonable ways are required by the people and situations at hand.  If it's someone else, give that person the chance to make things right.  Forgive, forget, and move on with your life.

If the person to blame has no remorse for his or her transgressions, you may need to re-evaluate the realities of this relationship.