The "X" Crystal Grid Layout for Arthritis & Fibromyalgia Pain

Pain can be such a debilitating thing.  I know I have days where I can only dream of getting out of bed!  But that's why crystal therapy can be so great.  It can never hurt you, only help.  Even if you're not quite convinced, think of it as mind over matter.  Or imagine it to be a way to meditate on your issues in order to gain some perspective.  Either way, it is non-invasive and worth a shot!

I have devised a crystal grid layout to free you of those aches and pains which are brought on by stiff creaky joints, arthritis, neurological disturbances such as neuropathy and fibromyalgia.  This one is great for the knees!  You will need to be seated or laying down for this position.

For help with pain, I tend to use items from the orange or brown color families, as the Root Chakra is the place in the body where pain management energy tends to be stored.  (When people "brace themselves" for something that's gonna hurt, it's usually those muscles which tense and brace!)  However, for this grid layout I have come up with something a little different.

You will need two blue stones, such as lapis, sapphire, or blue agate, in order to absorb the healing and soothing energies around you.  If you can get crystals which are pointed, all the better.  The other gemstones you can use are turquoise (and do try to get points, arrowheads, or something elogated if possible) or even clear quartz points will work.

In the middle of the X, you should place a green calcite gemstone in the middle of affected area in order to have a "pain conductor."  Direct the discomfort into the calcite, and allow it to then disperse through the blue and aqua crystals around it.  Calcite stones are best for this purpose, but amethyst can also work well, as can jasper or any color of agate (though I do recommend moss agate or another green crystal shade as it promotes healing from the Heart Chakra).

Happy healing!

Psychic Symptoms & Signs of a Spiritual Awakening

The psychic effects of a spiritual awakening are as varied as the people who experience them.  However, there are certain spiritual repercussions that are fairly common.  Here's a list of what to look for:

Experiencing a stronger connection to people as well as other life forms.  Perhaps you're more able to read and understand living things in a better way than you did previously.  Animals may sense this newfound connection as well.  Communication with other living things feels easier and more natural.  If animals seem to be responding better to you, try nutruring plants as well.  See if you're able to reach out and make new connections.  We are all inhabitants of the world!  During a spiritual awakening, you may feel this connection more profoundly with people, plants, and animals alike, a new awareness of sense of community and of everything working together from their own places in the universe.  Practice love and compassion in everything that you do.

Disturbances during meditation, prayer, or quiet times.  As you contact your guides, pray to God, or meditate, you may have issues focusing your thoughts or energy.  As you experience more signs and symptoms of a spiritual awakening, you may find that you need less time to meditate or pray to your higher power, as your ability to communicate those thoughts and feelings simply require less time.  Perhaps you simply don't need to allot as much time as before, or you may be communicating and/or centering yourself unconsciously in small ways throughout your waking (or sleeping) day.

A keener sense of awareness of others' presences.  This manifests through an understanding or consciousness of not only the presence of living and natural beings on this plane -- pets, friends, and random folks -- but also through consciousness of supernatural beings.  It may be a stretch, but some who undergo a spiritual transformation may just be becoming aware of spirits or even spectral presences.  There are some folks who are born with this ability, and others who develop it over time.  A spiritual awakening can bring many latent talents to the surface, including hidden abilities or weaker ones which suddenly become stronger.  If this is a frightening phenomenon for you, try meditation, prayer, or even calling upon friendly angels and spirit guides to protect you.  Remember -- most angelic or spiritual presences are either intent on trying to help you, or they are neutral in purpose.  Very, very few of these presences are harmful or mean, however some fear or paranoia is natural.

An increase in psychic or extrasensory abilities.  It is not unusual when someone experiences a spiritual awakening, for the sixth sense to become keener and stronger.  You will notice a heightened sense of awareness.  Perhaps you will experience clairvoyant, psychic, or empathic abilities that have been latent up to this point in your life, beginning to come forth and give you a new sense of perspective.

The discovery of a spirituality or philosophy that works for you.  Perhaps, for the first time in your life, you have found a type of spiritual or philosophical constructs that seem to correspond with just how you're thinking or feeling.  You may possess a deep hunger to learn more about a specific type of religion or belief.  This can help you to put your other issues into perspective, to aid you in growing on your spiritual journey.  The best way to go along with this is to read all you can, talk to other people, and ask questions if you're feeling lost.  Remember that exploration leads to discovery!

More communication with your higher power.  A stronger desire to meditate, to pray, or simply to commune with nature will always manifest itself in a spiritual awakening.  Perhaps you have found a new desire to speak to your guardian angels or spirit guides, and a greater inspiration to try making that connection.

"Rapex" Rape Prevention Device

 Saw this on Facebook today...

Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered na...tional attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.” Sometime afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.
Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.  When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.”
- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof

Having an Awesome Life: Lesson #4, Hilarity Ensues

Today is April Fool's Day, which perfectly coincides with my newest Awesome Life Lesson.  And that, in a nutshell is:  Laugh your ass off.

Have you ever seen the way that kids can giggle and practically make themselves ill with laughter?  Could you do that as a child?  I can remember some vivid incidents where I laughed so hard that I peed my pants.  And I'm not embarrassed to admit it, either.  (Well, maybe a little.) 

As adults, we need to get those pants-peeing laughter moments back into our lives.  This time around, though, most of us are old enough to control our bodily functions.  It's not always an easy thing to do... the laughing part, I mean.  Hopefully the peeing part is much more simple nowadays.

If you have family and friends, you probably share certain facets of your humor with them.  Why not explore that funny, silly side of yourself?  Read and tell jokes.  Even if they're stupid, I bet you'll get a few smiles and giggles -- if only for how silly you are while telling them.  Laugh at yourself, and laugh at one another.  Good-naturedly, though, of course.  Get silly.  Stop worrying so much about looking cool to other people, and start enjoying yourself.  (And anyway, isn't it soooooo much cooler to not give a crap what people think?)

Watch a movie that looks hilarious to you.  Read funny books.  Go back and remember the funniest moments of your entire life -- or some of the things you used to take seriously, which you can now laugh as they come into better perspective.  Check the internet for things that give you a chuckle.  I won't judge you if your idea of humor is Scumbag Steve or those insufferable Lolcats, though I'm partial to Success Kid memes and The Daily Bunny, which tend to be a cute-funny hybrid.  If you aren't sure where to start, type "funny" into your favorite search engine, and see what pops up.

What Is a Spiritual Awakening?

A spiritual awakening is also known as a mystical experience, spiritual emergency or crisis, religious experience, or sacred transformation.  It can be known by many other names as well, and is prevalent throughout various cultures throughout the word.  It is a transformative experience that occurs when someone makes contact with the divine, also known as a transcendent reality, higher power, or even with God.  This experience can usually involve coming to a spiritual or mystical epiphany, gaining insight that the person did not possess before the experience.  It may arrive with such speed and clarity that everything seems more clear, but can also be a frightening experience as this knowledge may contradict previously held beliefs or understanding.  It may also involve conversion or the adaptation of a new spiritual framework, a spiritual healing, or some other type of religious or spiritual enlightenment.  The spiritual awakening is brought forth usually by joining forces with the divine, as opposed to the person experiencing it simply coming upon it as a natural part of their thought process.  Sometimes, the higher power reaches out to the querent without any effort on the querent's part, perhaps sensing the person to be in some form of crisis (as in a spiritual emergency), but this is a more rare form of awakening.

In his book, "The Varieties of Religious Experience," American philosopher and psychologist William James attempted to describe this type of religious experience by certain variables which have been shared by most of the people who have had them.  His criteria for the classic spiritual awakening are that the experience must be transient (meaning that it is a temporary state in which the person experiences the awakening, then returns to a regular state of mind); it must be ineffable (which means that it cannot adequately be described by mere words, it is instead something which can only be understood through personal experience); it must be noetic (meaning that the individual should feel as though he or she has gained some type of insight or knowledge from the experience); and it must be passive (which means that it cannot be actively forced, it must simply occur -- though prayer, meditation, and other actions may put the querent in a more prepared mindset for the spiritual awakening).

Emotional Signs and Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

Spiritual awakenings can trigger amazing things inside your mind, heart, and of course, your spirit!  A spiritual awakening can also have interesting effects on your physical body.  In this entry, we're going to look at some of the changes which a spiritual awakening can cause in your emotional arena.  (We'll look at other types of changes later this year.)

Here are but a few of the signs of a spiritual awakening:


A stricter sense of morality.  As your spiritual awakening is experienced, you start to understand the importance of living your true will.  Along with this understanding comes a desire to treat other beings with honor and respect.  Secrets, lies, or actions that deter you from your true will may become increasingly difficult to participate or tolerate.  You place a new importance on honesty and reciprocity in all dealings with others.

A conscious need to seek your soulmate, other half, or twin flame.  When we experience a spiritual awakening, we may have the desire to share this experience with someone close to us who can understand.  In the event that you are single and seeking that person, your commitment to the search may have intensified since your awakening has come upon the horizon.  Remember that if you want this encounter to happen, you must continue to work on your own life in order to prepare and welcome this soulmate.

An anxious, nervous sense that something significant may be about to occur.  You may be experiencing worry, suspicion, or the perception of a significant impending event.  Try not to allow fear or worry to get the best of you.  Take things slowly and work on one small issue at a time.  The feeling about what's to come may be a natural reaction to any surprise, good or bad. 

A heightened sense of emotional sensitivity.  Even small things may suddenly become overwhelming to you.  You may cry easily, become sad or upset at things that may perhaps not have affected you so much in the past.  You may also have unexpected and intense bouts of inexplicable bliss, profound elation, comfort and peace.  The heart chakra may also be presenting with aches, pains, or a sense of pressure.  This is often due to your chakra opening and accepting new information or energy.  Try to be open to your newfound sensitivity; let the feelings ebb and flow naturally.  Try some cleansing exercises or deep breathing as you allow the chakra to naturally expand, strengthen, and grow.

A new need for solitude and alone time.  During a spiritual awakening, you may feel that being around others is more draining of your emotional and psychic resources.  Even if you're very gregarious and love people, they can be especially draining and taxing as you're more attuned with your own inner changes lately.  Perhaps you just want to stay home more instead of going out and doing the things you used to enjoy.  Or, instead of running with your usual crowd, you are now preferring to keep to yourself.  You may not be depressed or anxious, but you might just need this time alone.  Go with it an enjoy, but do your best to keep connections with others alive -- you don't want them to think you've forgotten about them!

A newfound need for spiritual connection and meaning.  Your spiritual awakening will spark a craving for purpose and a deep desire for understanding of the world around you.  It is also possible that, for the first time ever, you find yourself longing for something you cannot name.  An inner peace or a connection to spiritual ideas in order to make you feel whole.  Listen to your heart, and go where it takes you.  This can be an exciting time in your life to learn and grow!

Moments of newfound clarity.  Perhaps you're going through a significant epiphany in your life now.  After what may be an entire lifetime of living or thinking in a certain way, a shift in perspective (through whatever means) has caused you to see things in a whole new light.  You may feel a stronger attunement with your higher power, or with a force that is greater than yourself.  You may find yourself suddenly more concerned with humanity or healing the world around you.

A sense that you have gone through some changes, or that you are currently experiencing change.  You may not feel the same as you used to feel.  You may not even be able to pinpoint what those differences are between the old and new "you."  However, the differences are there, and you can sense them even if you are unable to put the changes into words just yet.  Remember that that best is yet to be.  Continue to move on this spiritual journey and you will be able to find these answers. 

A heightened sense of creativity.  This one is huge for many people!  It could be that the changes you've been witnessing inside yourself are simply giving you more to think about, and therefore you are feeling more inspired than you ordinarily are.  However, you may also be attracting more creative impulses, or setting off an enhanced ability to draw inspiration from external sources.  As you pick up these new ideas, do your best to keep track of them for future use.  They may be needed not just for new projects that will require future attention, but also as a way to chart and track your own spiritual progress.

A deep need to find your true sense of self and life purpose.  What has worked for you in the past is just fine, but when a spiritual awakening occurs, maybe your old ways of doing things are simply not going to work for you anymore.  You may feel restricted by attachments, people, or lifestyles which do not suit your true purpose.  You may need to let go of toxic relationships or bad situations that do not enable you to live your true will.

Stalked at 17 and Your True Story

One of the searches that seems to be bringing people to my blog is the movie, Stalked at 17, which is a 2012 Lifetime movie.  The main character, Angela, winds up becoming involved with a seemingly perfect guy named Chad, who has a dark past and a tendency toward unstable, destructive behavior.

The star of Stalked at 17, Taylor Spreitler, has confirmed that Stalked at 17 was not based on a particular story; she says that it is "inspired by true events," though "not a particular one."  Spreitler does add that the movie's message has merit in the real world, despite its theatrical drama; "...it's an issue," she stated.

Stalked at 17, while not based on a specific true story, was, however inspired by some events that did actually happen.  The characters of Angela and Chad are composites which are based on a number of cases of love gone bad.  Although this is just a regular fun Lifetime movie, the typical drama with a bit of a thrilling edge... this movie can still serve as a warning to us.  So many nightmarish situations arise when we behave impulsively and neglect to use our natural logic!

When we are young or feeling vulnerable, we may be more willing to become attached to someone who is less than stable.  This is how emotional manipulators and predators work: they seek out targets who are vulnerable and more likely to believe their lies and put up with their BS.

It is so important to get to know someone before making a commitment to them.  More than that, you need to know and respect yourself as well.  And, of course, if you're going to be intimate with someone, always use a condom!  The last thing that you want is to become pregnant by someone who will later use your situation to control and manipulate you.  A child ties you to that other person for at least 18 years, if not more, so you must be certain that this is what you want before entering into this type of situation with another person.  No one wants a crazy person for their baby's daddy (or mom)!

By being strong, confident, loving and respectful of yourself, you are automatically setting your own personal standards to a more reasonable level.  Remember that a child is forever, and the person with whom you share that link with will be forever linked to you, through biology and through family life.  Don't accept predatory, abusive, or threatening treatment from anyone who is trying to use or manipulate you.  By choosing healthy relationships, you're putting yourself and your potential family into the best possible situation for the future.

Albert J. Bernstein's "Narcissistic Vampire" Checklist

A friend of mine forwarded this to me, and I found it very interesting.  Thought I would post it here to share with my readers.  Hope that you enjoy it -- and more importantly, learn something!  

THE SMARTEST, MOST TALENTED, ALL-AROUND BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TEST:
True or false? Score one point for each true answer. 

 1. THIS PERSON HAS ACHIEVED MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE HIS OR HER AGE.

 2. THIS PERSON IS FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT HE OR SHE IS BETTER, SMARTER, OR MORE TALENTED THAN OTHER PEOPLE.

 3. THIS PERSON LOVES COMPETITION, BUT IS A POOR LOSER.

 4. THIS PERSON HAS FANTASIES OF DOING SOMETHING GREAT OR BEING FAMOUS, AND OFTEN EXPECTS TO BE TREATED AS IF THESE FANTASIES HAD ALREADY COME TRUE.

 5. THIS PERSON HAS VERY LITTLE INTEREST IN WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING OR FEELING, UNLESS HE OR SHE WANTS SOMETHING FROM THEM.

 6. THIS PERSON IS A NAME DROPPER.

 7. TO THIS PERSON IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO LIVE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND ASSOCIATE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
 8. THIS PERSON TAKES ADVANTAGE OF OTHER PEOPLE TO ACHIEVE HIS OR HER OWN GOALS.

 9. THIS PERSON USUALLY MANAGES TO BE IN A CATEGORY BY HIM OR HERSELF.

10. THIS PERSON OFTEN FEELS PUT UPON WHEN ASKED TO TAKE CARE OF HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITIES TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, OR WORK GROUP.

11. THIS PERSON REGULARLY DISREGARDS RULES OR EXPECTS THEM TO BE CHANGED BECAUSE HE OR SHE IS IN SOME WAY SPECIAL.

 12. THIS PERSON BECOMES IRRITATED WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DON’T AUTOMATICALLY DO WHAT HE OR SHE WANTS THEM TO DO, EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR NOT COMPLYING.

13. THIS PERSON REVIEWS SPORTS, ART, AND LITERATURE BY TELLING YOU WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY INSTEAD.

14. THIS PERSON THINKS MOST CRITICISMS OF HIM OR HER ARE MOTIVATED BY JEALOUSY.

15. THIS PERSON REGARDS ANYTHING SHORT OF WORSHIP TO BE REJECTION.

16. THIS PERSON SUFFERS FROM A CONGENITAL INABILITY TO RECOGNIZE HIS OR HER OWN MISTAKES. ON THE RARE OCCASIONS THAT THIS PERSON DOES RECOGNIZE A MISTAKE, EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ERROR CAN PRECIPITATE A MAJOR DEPRESSION.

17. THIS PERSON OFTEN EXPLAINS WHY PEOPLE WHO ARE BETTER KNOWN THAN HE OR SHE IS NOT REALLY ALL THAT GREAT.

18. THIS PERSON OFTEN COMPLAINS OF BEING MISTREATED OR MISUNDERSTOOD.
19. PEOPLE EITHER LOVE OR HATE THIS PERSON.

20. DESPITE THIS PERSON’S OVERLY HIGH OPINION OF HIM OR HERSELF, HE OR SHE IS REALLY QUITE INTELLIGENT AND TALENTED.

Scoring: Five or more true answers qualifies the person as a Narcissistic Emotional Vampire, though not necessarily for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality. If the person scores higher than ten, and is not a member of the royal family, be careful that you aren’t mistaken for one of the servants.
By ALBERT J. BERNSTEIN, Ph.D.

Dealing With a Narcissist?

This is a term that we tend to throw around casually in ordinary conversation.  Most of us know that a narcissist is a needy, self-absorbed person who often uses others for his or her own ends.  But do you know the criteria for true narcissism?  Check the list below and see which of the following qualities fits the profile of the person on your mind.  If you can answer "yes" to 5 or more of the following, then chances are good that your subject may very well be a narcissist.  In the past, the going rate for narcissism was about 11% of the population.  However, some reports (such as this one and this one) state that the rise of narcissism is something of a new epidemic, with numbers as high as 30% among the younger population.  Interestingly enough, this narcissism isn't a good predictor of life success -- in fact, people with empathy and the ability to focus on others are often much more successful in life than their narcissistic counterparts.

The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of the following:
1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

When Will He Call Me? Why Isn't He Calling?

As a professional psychic and spiritual life coach, I am contacted almost daily by women who ask me heartbreaking questions: "Why won't he call me? When will he contact me again?" It's often about someone who may have shared only a brief connection with her, such as a man that she has recently met. However, this question is asked about an ex with whom she shared her life, someone of whom she has trouble letting go. I can always sense the pain and wistful sorrow of someone who needs the answer to this question. And, while sometimes I can see the man in question picking up the phone or running into the querent again sometime in the future, very often I don't sense any pending form of contact. It kills me to tell her that the phone won't be ringing anytime soon, but I do have to be honest in situations like that, no matter how hard it is for her to hear the truth.

Why, then, would someone be hung up on this lack of communication? Some women will hold out the hope of a love who will return for weeks, months, or even years. I've heard from quite a few who are unable to move on with their lives, always in limbo, always waiting for him. If you're waiting for contact from someone where none seems to be forthcoming, please know that there are millions of people out there who feel your pain, and have gone through it before. There are many reasons why the contact won't come. Often, it is best to acknowledge these reasons so that you can move on with your own life. Here are a few of the most common realities that we may need to understand:  the reality of these reasons can be harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts!

1. He has already moved on with his life -- or wants to. In each relationship, there is always one person who is able to carry onward faster and easier than the other. Both people may be able to do it with relative ease, but someone always has to be "first" with that. Perhaps, in your case, he simply requires less grieving time. Or in the reverse, maybe he'd rather not re-open old wounds which he is struggling to heal. At any rate, calling you would seem counter productive in this case; he may still care for you, however contact with you is simply not on the list of things to do if he'd like to heal and get on with the business of living.

2. He is afraid. If the relationship ended on bad terms regardless of who is at fault, perhaps he realizes that there is still a lot of anger, bitterness, or resentment. Since the relationship is over, he doesn't see a need to call and rehash old issues that have already been set in stone. This is especially true if he was the cause of this break in your relationship. Think of it this way: If you hurt or betrayed someone, would you really want to contact them again just to see how they're doing? Females are more often inclined to answer this question with a "yes," because we tend to need closure and approval in ways that men do not. Many males would simply prefer to avoid any further messiness once they've been spattered with a bit of someone else's emotions. And if you're already broken up, he just doesn't see the point in putting himself through the emotional wringer again.

3. He is angry or hurt. If you were the one who initiated the argument or breakup, you can bet that his ego will be smarting for some time to come. There may be some residual annoyance, resentment, or embarrassment left over from the break. This type of wounded pride will produce a great deal of reluctance to speak with you again. Even the strongest people are capable of succumbing to such vulnerabilities. If he was the person who initiated the breakup, he may still be harboring pain or resentment, in which case, he is simply not interested in rekindling any sort of communication with you.

4. He has other irons in the fire. Regardless of whether he's moved on from you with ease, or is still secretly pining away, it is entirely possible that he has found someone new. Perhaps he's deeply in love with this new person, perhaps he's just found someone fun with whom he can enjoy whiling away some time. Either way, if a man is getting his needs met by another woman, then it's very likely that he just doesn't feel a need to speak with you anymore. Or, even if he is a more sensitive type who does still care for you -- or even still holds a torch for you -- if he's with a new woman, communicating with you would be inappropriate. After all, would you be OK with your new lover calling his ex on a regular basis?

5. He is waiting to hear from you. We've already discussed cases where the anger, resentment, or rejection are serious enough to keep him away. But in some of those cases, your ex might be hoping that you're the one to initiate contact. If he's afraid of your anger, picking up the phone to say "No hard feelings," would be a step in the right direction. If he's still hurting or carrying his own resentment about the breakup, he may still be silently hoping for some type of closure. In a case like that, perhaps a well-written letter or email would assist him in making this transition.

No matter why the relationship ended, or how the other party is feeling, you must remember that not all people are meant to be permanent fixtures in our lives. Sometimes when fate brings people into one another's lives, they are destined to spend only a finite amount of time together. The most important thing is to enjoy those who love you for as long as they are near, and to accept a parting of the ways with grace and dignity. A new love may be just around the corner; if you focus too much on your past, you may very well miss the wonderful opportunities that will present themselves to you in the future.

Are You Dealing With a Sociopath?

Approximately 1% to 4% of the population is afflicted with sociopathic tendencies.  These traits are often inherited, though can be treatable if detected early enough.  However, once a sociopath reaches adulthood, rehabilitation is difficult if not impossible.

Many people interchange terms like sociopath and psychopath.  There is a difference.  While sociopaths have predatory natures, and are often manipulative without guilt or remorse, this doesn't necessarily mean that they are all violent people.  Some may have violent tendencies, but only a very small percentage of violent sociopaths are serial killers.  It is more likely that the sociopath you'll deal with will be a con artist, liar, or master manipulator.  Sociopaths come in all walks of life, social classes, genders, and ages.  They blend into society with little or no effort, and are difficult to spot immediately.


Here are the traits of a sociopath as defined by Dr. Robert Hare, a well-known expert in criminal psychology.


Dr. Hare's Checklist (Sociopathic Traits)

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM -- an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and un empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS -- a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE -- a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

Toxic Friends: Identifying & Handling Them

In order to have the happiest, healthiest life, it's so important for us to do things that are good for ourselves.  Friendship is one of those important ingredients for a rich and happy life -- a good friendship can nurture our spirit, bring positivity and hope into our lives, and provide the support that we need to reach our goals and fulfill our dreams.  Friends can be comfort when we're sad, support when we're hesiant, advice when we're confused.  We confide in them, and seek out their wisdom when we need it.  And we also have the same responsibilities toward our friends; those of us who take friendship seriously will understand the importance of reciprocity.

Wouldn't it be great if people came with labels?
Fortunately, toxic people are easy to spot
once you learn those tell-tale signs of toxicity.

However, as we evolve throughout our lives, so do our relationships with other people.  Life changes will also transform us, the way we view life, and the way we handle various issues that surround us.  Sometimes, our experiences, our successes and failures -- or those of the other party -- can change a friendship dynamic.  It's important to reevaluate ties with people who may not always be good for us.  You may have someone in mind that you're in the process of reevaluating right now.  Try using my checklist to help you.  Does your friend match any of these descriptions?

The Comedian.  The first thing on the list is to think about your interaction with the friend in question.  Is he or she using sarcasm to insult or undermine your self-esteem, to belittle you or your goals?  This can be especially stinging if such remarks are followed up with "I'm just joking," allowing the "friend" to hurt your feelings, yet effectively taking away your right to defend yourself.  While some people will snap or become cranky if they're having a bad day, or they're on the defensive because of some workable issue, pay close attention to these types of remarks.  If your friend is habitually using sarcasm to put you down, this is a calling card of friendship toxicity.  How to handle it:  Remember that this person is putting you down because of their own issues.  Or, perhaps there are some unhappy goings-on in the friend's life at the present time.  Wait it out and see what happens, but in the meantime, keep your shields up.  If things don't improve after a reasonable amount of time, it may be time to cut your losses.

The Rubber Neck.  In everyone's life, something bad will happen from time to time -- unemployment, serious illness, personal crisis.  Some friends will roll up their sleeves and do what they can to help you, even if it's just being there to lend an ear.  However, be aware of certain "tells" that the friend is behaving in a less-than-friendly manner.  One is that your friend may ask benign, yet rather nosey personal questions.  Perhaps you're trying to move on with your life and get things back to a place where you'd like it to be, yet your friend seems to only view you in relation to your crisis.  A friend who sits back and observes you as if they're watching a bad Lifetime movie or a really bad car accident -- someone who sees you only as some type of drama-fest to enjoy -- yet doesn't offer much in the way of help, is definitely toxic.  How to handle it:  This friend is not intentionally malicious, but nevertheless, it can be a frustrating situation.  It's best to keep the dirty details of your crises to yourself (or share with a truly supportive friend); keep contact with this person short and sweet.  If you need to take a break until you've moved on with your life a bit more, that's also understandable.  Maybe you won't be so interesting to the other person once you've put yourself in a better place.  Oh well.

The Pouting Princess.  I've written a few articles on emotional vampires, and the Pouting Princess is definitely an EV's close cousin!  To paraphrase, these are the sorts of people who are ridiculously needy and high-maintenance.  They may try to control or possess as much of your time as they can.  They may be jealous of the time you spend with others.  Or, perhaps they're just way too needy and clingy.  He or she may suck all the fun out of the room on the moment of entry, and you feel drained just thinking about him or her.  How to handle it:  Either "dump" them officially, or better yet, gradually try to fade away -- however you decide to handle it, by all means let them go.  Friendship is a give and take which should benefit both parties.  However, I did say give and take -- on both ends.  You doing all the giving, and them doing all the taking is not what I'd call healthy!

The Leech.  This is an easy one to spot: This is the type of friend who rarely or never has anything nice to say about you.  However, when you're needed for something, this person may manipulate you or take advantage of your good nature.  He or she may only be available when it's convenient for him or her, or when you are needed to bail him or her out.  There may also be some added drama and attempts to suck you into it. Clearly this is someone who's just out to use other people and cause chaos.  You rarely get "thank you" for helping out -- instead, you get "What else can you do for me?"  How to handle it:  Understand that this person is using you.  It's probably better if you just cut this person out of your life; but if you absolutely must deal with them, make sure to draw those boundaries firmly, and don't allow breaches.  And, like the vampire above, if you're noticing that the friendship isn't quite balancing out, head for the door and don't come back until this person is gone.

Remember that when you're faced with people who behave as I have described, you will eventually be faced with a three-fold choice.  

1.  Continue the friendship as it is, misery and all!

2.  Try working things out -- be honest about what's bothering you.

3.  End the friendship, either immediately or gradually.

Whatever happens, remember to trust your instincts.  You and the other person may have a shared past with one another, but that past just might not translate into a present or future.  Sometimes, people grow in different directions.  If you are not able to salvage the rifts in the friendship, it may be time to move on and set yourself (and the other party) free to pursue relationships which are more fulfilling.

Aura Polishing Techniques

A friend of mine who's very much into aura healing and cleansing shared this ritual with me. He does this every few days or so, in order to keep things balanced. It's unusual, to say the least, but definitely worth a shot if you're inclined toward working with your auras. This is what I've learned about aura cleansing, so I hope you enjoy it!  Every aura is different, and different things may work for various aura colors and aura patterns.

Strengthening and healing one's auras should be done each day, in order to keep things running smoothly. This is especially true if you know that you're going to be in a stressful situation, or if you're going to be around emotional vampires or other negative folks who drain away your energy.

In order to protect your aura, the first thing to do is to put up a spiritual "stop sign" to protect yourself from outside energy interfering. One way to do this is to cross your arms and legs in a protective stance (or sitting position).

Then, you can try my friend's unusual breathing technique which is said to clear the aura and balance the chakras. With this cleansing, your auric area is cleansed and your mind-body connection is balanced. It is done by breathing in with one nostril, then out with the other.

First, hold your nose as if you're going underwater; just pinch it between your fingers, but don't apply any pressure. Close off one nostril and breathe out. Keep your tongue steady and low in the mouth, just behind the front teeth. Apply pressure to the other nostril while releasing the original one, and then breathe in for a few seconds. Hold the breath for 10-15 seconds if you can; otherwise, just do it for as long as you can. Then exhale, and do the same thing with the other nostril. Repeat the entire process half a dozen times or so. It shouldn't take longer than a couple of minutes.

I'm still learning about auric work, so I'm not sure how standard the above exercise is. However, one thing I can say about it is that with all of the concentrating on breath, it certainly can help to refocus your mind onto something new if you're worried or stressed. Breathing exercises are often quite calming and strengthening. I often do a similar breathing exercise without all of the nose pinching. Do what feels most comfortable for you.

As you're breathing, you can also try a "cleansing vortex" visualization. To do this, as you're breathing, visualize a swirling vortex of light, beginning in your midsection, and whirling outward and away from you, cleansing and healing your entire body, removing and dispeling all negativity that is embedded within. Imagine the negativity changing to positive energy, then visualize the whirlwind scattering this positive energy outward and away, releasing it into the general environment and doing good things for others.

Magickal Properties of Amethyst

Each crystal of every type has a particular sort of energy.  The vibration has an effect on the mind and body, resulting in transformation of spiritual and physical health.  Crystals can be used in a number of different ways, but the underlying premise of each of these philosophies is that if you come into contact with your crystal on a regular basis, it will benefit you.

It is important to find the right crystal for the condition that you're trying to change.  Amethyst may be the right type of gemstone for your purposes, depending on the type of help that you seek.

Amethyst is a type of quartz crystal, and most amethysts come from Brazil, Sri Lanka, Canada, and eastern parts of Africa.  Amethysts are often purple in hue, but shades can differ from extremely pale lilac or translucent purple, to deep rich violets and plums.  Amethyst is one of the most famous purple gemstones, and has been used to make jewelry since ancient times.  England's monarchy possesses some fabulous Crown Jewels which prominently feature royal purple amethysts of astounding size and beauty.   Additionally, the Roman Catholic church favors it as a popular choice for clergy; every pope since the sixteenth century has worn amethyst jewelry of some type.

Amethyst has been long reputed to have healing properties.  Many myths and legends describe it as being a powerful stone for spiritual as well as physical strength.

Spiritual uses of amethyst have long been celebrated.  It is said to be a wonderful stone to enhance meditation, to strengthen trust, common sense, and mental flexibility as well.  Amethyst is also useful to keep a person grounded and provide the ability to flow well with life changes that may be experienced.  Amethyst is also instrumental for recalling dreams, as well as a mineral of humility and can be used for us to help see the bigger picture, as well as our place in that picture, instead of focusing on trivial or unimportant matters that do not help us in the long run.  Because of its association with helping mental energies, it can also aid those who are suffering from worry and anxiety.

Common folklore also suggests than amethyst has many healing properties as well.  It is said to make one's immune system stronger, as well as to aid the metabolism, circulation of the blood, and hormone production.   Amethyst is also beneficial for headaches and to control the body's blood sugar.  Amethyst's healing properties are also legendary as a stone of help and solace for those seeking aid with addictions -- whether it is food, alcohol, drugs, or other issues, amethyst is said to help one control their addictions.  Amethyst can motivate and inspire, helping people to gain focus in order to achieve their goals.  It is also useful in treating unrest and nervousness, helping insomniacs relax and sleep, and assisting those with emotional troubles to let go of anger and fear.

Feng Shui teachings laud amethyst's abilities to affect change, and it can be used in almost any context where a need for change is concerned.  Placing an amethyst in the very center of a room, or even of the entire home, can help balance the living space and improve the spiritual quality of the residence.  Amethyst can also assist the gaining of knowledge and intelligence when place in the northeastern corners of a home or a room.

Amethyst is a lovely and powerful stone which may just be the right cure for what ails you.  Try harnessing the power of this beautiful and amazing gemstone whenever you need it!

Thanks Katherine_Davis from Flickr for the awesome picture! :)

Healthy Boundaries: Getting There

Now that we've discussed the basics of boundaries which are unhealthy for being too loose or too rigid -- and the importance of having healthy boundaries for their positive impact on your self-esteem and your relationships with others, let's learn how to establish those boundaries with others.


Step 1. What do you need?  Sit down and really figure out what you need in a relationship. What makes you feel respected? What makes you feel uncomfortable? Determine what your own personal needs, wants, and rights are. Establish boundaries based on what you think is reasonable. Remember that your rights and needs should be separate entities in and of themselves, and that your rights should end where those of others begin.

Step 2.  Discuss these boundaries with others. State your case clearly, and in with a neutral but firm attitude. Don't speak angrily or in a long-winded way. Just keep it clear and concise. You do not need to apologize for, rationalize, or argue while establishing this boundary. Be firm and respectful.

Step 3.  Remember why you're setting this boundary. If you expect people to understand and respect your needs, you must also understand that their reactions to this may be negative, especially if they are used to behaving in ways that are contrary to these boundaries. Don't apologize for protecting yourself. Don't feel selfish or guilty, just stand by your decision and remind yourself why you need your rights and needs to be respected by those who should care about you. This is a normal, natural and healthy part of the process. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but things will get easier with time.

Step 4.  Prepare yourself for the possibility of being tested. Most people will understand your feelings and respect them, but there might be people in your life who will not respect these boundaries. Others might accuse you of being selfish or mean for denying their unreasonable requests. But nevertheless, if their behavior is unacceptable to you, you must be confident and assert yourself. You cannot set a boundary and then apologize or rationalize it to others -- this sends a mixed message which might enable others to take advantage later. You can be respectful of the fact that some may not agree with your boundaries, but stay true to yourself. You have the right to be treated with respect. If people still don't respect your boundaries, you may have to put distance between yourself and them, possibly end the relationship or even pursue legal options if the other person still doesn't respect your rights.

Step 5. Establish a support system. This should be made up of people who do care about you, and who are willing to respect your boundaries. Healthy relationships with friends, family, and other people whose jobs are to care for you will make you stronger and more confident in yourself. Eliminate disrespectful, controlling, or abusive people from your life. Make more room for relationships with people who are caring and respectful.

Step 6.  Grow and evolve.  These changes may be uncomfortable or even scary for you at first.  But just keep in mind that you're doing this to improve the overall quality of your life, so some unpleasant backlash may be necessary for this growth.  Protecting yourself with healthy boundaries can enhance your relationships, boost your self-confidence, and radiate outward to inspire other positive changes in your life as well.

Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Relationships Video

For those of you who are following my series on healthy boundaries, I have created this video as a companion piece to the first article.  In this video, the concept of boundaries is explored and further defined.  You will also learn the difference between healthy boundaries and unhealthy ones, as well as to determine if your boundaries are too rigid or too loose.

Also, remember that the most important thing about boundaries is that they help keep you safe.  No one can set or enforce those boundaries but YOU.  Protect yourself -- LOVE yourself -- you deserve it!

Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Relationships

Having strong but reasonable personal boundaries can be the cornerstone of having healthy, positive relationships with other people. Conversely, having unhealthy or weak boundaries can contribute to negative relationships. Through the creation of healthy and clear personal boundaries, we are establishing important parts of our identity and showing others what we're actually about. In order for this to happen, it's vital to understand what everyone needs, as well as what the rights and feelings are of everyone involved -- including yourself.

Everyone has a story. We all come from somewhere. While our backgrounds can be very different, it can be said that those of us who come from a dysfunctional environment often have less exposure to boundaries that are healthy and reasonable. Learning how to create and maintain healthy boundaries is a vital part of being a healthy, well-cetnered individual. Creating these boundaries begins with addressing other issues, such as cultivating a higher self-image and to combat apathy. We must learn how to recognize and address our own personal rights and needs. Another important step is to take care of ourselves, within the scope of our rights and what's best for us, especially in the context of interpersonal relationships. These things may take time to get just right, but over time, when we develop a healthier outlook for ourselves, our newly established boundaries will help to keep us safe and well-protected, possibly quite unlike our childhood experiences.

Are boundaries emotional? Or can they be tangible, like a fence in your backyard? The answer is both. Physical boundaries are defined by how close we allow someone to get to us, and by whom we allow to touch us physically, as well as where and under what circumstances we allow it. Boundaries of the emotional type have more to do with how we allow our feelings to be affected by others. Emotional boundaries center around our abilities to take responsibility for our own emotional needs, as well as allowing others to be responsible for their own. Our own boundaries will sometime challenge us, but they also define who we are and what we expect out of relationships. Can we refuse an unreasonable request that we're asked? Do we feel uncomfortable just by being around someone else who is feeling upset? Do our opinions change depending on the people whose company we keep? Do we take responsibility for others' feelings, going too far to please them, while neglecting our own needs? All of these issues will depend on whether or not our emotional boundaries are healthy.

Both sets of boundaries, our emotional and physical ones, determine how we behave toward and with other people, as well as how we allow them to behave toward us. If we did not have personal boundaries, other people would be able to do whatever they wanted with us: touch or treat our possessions or even our bodies in any way they wanted. Additionally, we would be obligated to take responsibility for other people's negative or inappropriate actions, to treat other people's problems as though they were our responsibility to prevent, address, or even solve. Basically, we would have no rights, and every aspect of our lives would be impossible for us to control.

While loose boundaries are often problematic, so are boundaries which are too tough or unyielding. People who live by strict and rigid personal boundaries are likely to push other people out of their lives. They will generally not ask for help when they need it, and they don't allow others inside. These people are often perceived as cold and emotionless, because they rarely display emotions or talk about how they might feel. On the flip side, people with overly loose boundaries will touch people inappropriately, even people that they may not know very well. Those with loose boundaries might have trouble telling the difference between sex and love, and they may get too close to other people much too quickly.

There are also people who have healthy boundaries. They tend to be the most well-balanced, and do much better with social interactions than those who have issues with their boundaries. While they are able to enjoy closeness with those who are special to them, and to accept help when they are truly in need of it, they also respect other people's rights, feelings, and positions. They also take responsibility for their own actions, and allow others to do the same. People with healthy boundaries are more able to compromise, to understand other people's feelings, and they generally have better self-esteem than those with unhealthy boundaries. Often, they are more comfortable with themselves, and also more able to make others feel good around them. Because they respect themselves and also the boundaries of other people, they can enjoy much richer and more fulfilling relationships with other people who respect their boundaries.

What about people who have boundaries that are less than healthy? Well, if yours need a bit of work, you can always improve them. While it may seem scary or uncomfortable at first when you start, remember that this is a vital part in taking care of yourself, and protecting yourself in a way that only you can do. Many people who grew up in dysfunctional, or even abusive, situations have developed survival skills which have hindered the development of healthy boundaries. For example, you may have trouble expressing anger, fear, or other unpleasant emotions, because it may not have been acceptable in the environment in which you were raised, even if the abusive actions of others were what caused the pain or anger. Therefore, in adulthood, it may be uncomfortable and difficult to construct healthy boundaries because of the past, however it is possible for you to work through those emotions and establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself. It won't happen overnight, and may take some time to get right, but it's never too late to start. And even small improvements can help you to live a happier, healhier, and richer life.

Meet Your Real Guardian Angel

"Make friends with the angels, who though invisible are always with you. Often invoke them, constantly praise them, and make good use of their help and assistance in all your temporal and spiritual affairs." -- St. Francis de Sales

Spirits are each given the task of watching over us and helping us throughout our time here on Earth: these are angels.  An angel is thought to be a spiritual being who acts as a messenger of God, assigned to assist someone in his or her life.  In Judaism, they are sometimes called "mal'akh elohim" (messengers of God).  The Islamic religion refers to them as Malaikah. The Catholic Church has long held a tradition of belief in these heavenly beings, although angels themselves are not necessarily affiliated with any specific religious belief.  We all have our own personal guardian angel whose job is to guide us, assist us, and to help us realize that doing good work is our duty here on Earth.

It could be said that an angel is a by-product of God, in much the same way that light emanates from a candle or lightbulb.  As soon as we are born, an angel is present near is, waiting to help and guide us.  They can understand our thoughts and feelings, and they can also hear our prayers whether silent or spoken.

All around us, we can find these angels.  They are everywhere; if we remember to ask for their help, our guardian angels will do their very best to assist us.  It is in an angel's nature to be a liason between the mortal realm and that of the immortal, the divine, and they can exist in both realms, serving as a connection between these worlds.  Although they cannot be seen by the human eye, angelic presence can often be felt.

Because angelic beings are of the divine, earthly concepts such as time are not relevant to them.  They can be wherever they choose, in any way that they choose, because they exist in multiple dimensions.  A popular belief is that angels can travel more quickly than the speed of light.  Every living thing -- each animal, each plant, each person -- has an angel present, watching over it and caring for it.

When you become open to the possibilities of communicating with your angel, you are choosing to become open to a richer spiritual experience, and the opportunity for great spiritual self-improvement.  Acknowledging angelic presences helps us to enhance our own intuition, and thus become more readily able to accept their communications.  Meditating can be beneficial toward helping us remove the negative obstacles inside us, which make inner peace and self-improvement difficult.  By meditating, one can find the tranquility, love, and happiness that angels wish us to possess.

When you are in need of help, you have only to speak up and ask your angelic presence for assistance. By connecting with your guardian angel, you are reaching out to a liason of God, and thus connecting with the divine presence through your angelic helper.  And, when you achieve a calm and composed state of mind, it is much easier to connect.

Life can be distracting, fast-paced, and so full of "important" things to do.  However, it is important for us to give ourselves those moments of tranquility and peace that our inner souls crave.  When having a quiet moment, realize that this is an excellent time to try connecting with your personal angelic presence.  If you are in need of help, feel free to ask your angel for some assistance -- an angel will do its best to help you no matter what, but when you ask, the connection is that much stronger and easier.  If you can remember a time when you've had a serious problem and there seemed to be no way out of it, yet somehow you were able to come to a solution at the last second, you may have your guardian angel to thank for that assistance.

Astrological Compatibility Chart

This weekend, I constructed a basic chart for compatibilities based on astrological sun signs.  This is some very simple, basic compatibility data.  For best results, I'd recommend checking the natal charts of yourself and the person you're analyzing.  Even so, this is a nice quick-and-dirty bit of information that may help you learn a bit about yourself and someone else.  (Note: I may even make a YouTube companion video for the chart -- we shall see!)  To see the chart in a larger format, just click on it below.

1.  Hearts.  Generally a great dynamic with lots of attraction.  Called "conjunct" by astrologists everywhere, it is a dynamic that is very beneficial because you can understand one another quite well: your likes, dislikes, and values will very likely be quite similar.  Sometimes this can cause friction, since occasionally people who are extremely alike may annoy one another and know how to push one another's buttons; however, in any case, these people will often have an innate knowledge and understanding of one another.  Love 'em or hate 'em, this often proves to be a very emotionally intense relationship.  Includes:  Aries and Aries, Taurus and Taurus, Gemini and Gemini, Cancer and Cancer, Leo and Leo, Virgo and Virgo, Libra and Libra, Scorpio and Scorpio, Sagittarius and Sagittarius, Capricorn and Capricorn, Aquarius and Aquarius, Pisces and Pisces.

2.  Thumbs-Up.  You've got similarities and complimentary styles.  These dynamics are "trine" and often quite positive for friendships, romances, and family relations.  While there are enough differences in, say, execution and expression of personal style, many values will remain similar between the two of you.  This is often a very respectful and close partnership where both people can feel an instant connection.  Includes:  Aries and Leo, Aries and Sagittarius, Taurus and Virgo, Taurus and Capricorn, Gemini and Libra, Gemini and Aquarius, Cancer and Scorpio, Cancer and Pisces, Leo and Aries, Leo and Sagittarius, Virgo and Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn, Scorpio and Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces, Sagittarius and Aries, Sagittarius and Cancer, Capricorn and Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo, Aquarius and Gemini, Aquarius and Libra, Pisces and Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio.

3.  Peace Sign.  Called a "sextile," these are signs which have complimentary elements that "feed" off of one another's differences.  You and the other person may not be similar in a lot of ways, but you genuinely like and respect one another.  This makes for a very interesting partnership and it can help you learn a lot about yourself, as well as appreciate the differences that other people have to offer.  Great for collaborations, and also makes for very interesting friendships and romances. Signs which are sextile include:  Aries and Gemini, Aries and Aquarius, Taurus and Cancer, Taurus and Pisces, Gemini and Aries, Gemini and Leo, Cancer and Virgo, Cancer and Taurus, Leo and Gemini, Leo and Libra, Virgo and Cancer, Virgo and Scorpio, Libra and Leo, Libra and Sagittarius, Scorpio and Virgo, Scorpio and Capricorn, Sagittarius and Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius, Capricorn and Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces, Aquarius and Sagittarius, Aquarius and Aries.


4.  Swirly Arrow-Circle Thing.  These are known as "opposition signs" because they are at a perfect 180 degrees apart in the zodiac -- and yes, opposites do attract!  While there can often be an extreme and intense attraction between these two signs, it can also be a very trying dynamic.  Dealing with someone who is so different than you can be wonderful and intriguing, yet also dramatic and frustrating at the same time.  It takes two very special opposition parties to overcome the differences and see them through to get to the other side -- if and when this happens, your relationship can be a match made in heaven!  This compatibility includes:  Aries and Libra, Taurus and Scorpio, Gemini and Sagittarius, Cancer and Capricorn, Leo and Aquarius, Virgo and Pisces, Libra and Aries, Scorpio and Taurus, Sagittarius and Gemini, Capricorn and Cancer, Aquarius and Leo, Pisces and Virgo.

5. Purple Smiley.  This is known as a "semi-square," which can create some tension since these placements will fall either before or after your sign.  While this can prove to be tough going for some relationships where emotions run high (such as a romantic or family dynamic), it can often be the basis for great friendships regardless of the differences which are present in those signs.  Often this makes a good alliance for people who have similar goals, and there can also be a lot of complimentary input and ideas coming from both sides.  While there are differences, the parties involved can often seen one another's point of view with a bit of extra effort in communication, and the relationship which results from this hard work can be very fruitful indeed.  Signs with this aspect include:  Aries and Pisces, Aries and Taurus, Taurus and Aries, Taurus and Gemini, Gemini and Taurus, Gemini and Cancer, Cancer and Gemini, Cancer and Leo, Leo and Cancer, Leo and Virgo, Virgo and Leo, Virgo and Libra, Libra and Virgo, Libra and Scorpio, Scorpio and Libra, Scorpio and Sagittarius, Sagittarius and Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn, Capricorn and Sagittarius, Capricorn and Aquarius, Aquarius and Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces, Pisces and Aquarius, Pisces and Aries.

6.   Grey "Ehh..." Smiley.  It is formally known as a "quincunx" or, sometimes informally, called an "inconjunct."  This indicates a separation of about 150 degrees, both before and after a sign's opposite.  Often there is little attraction between these signs, and sometimes even what one may consider "bad chemistry."  There are often few similarities in personality or values, and frequently one sees differences and areas where criticism can pop into the picture.  In the best of cases, this dynamic may ultimately elicit boredom, and in the worst of cases, a lot of stress and headaches for all parties involved.  Placements include:  Aries and Virgo, Aries and Scorpio, Taurus and Libra, Taurus and Sagittarius, Gemini and Scorpio, Gemini and Capricorn, Cancer and Sagittarius, Cancer and Aquarius, Leo and Capricorn, Leo and Pisces, Scorpio and Aries, Scorpio and Aquarius, Libra and Taurus, Libra and Pisces, Virgo and Aries, Virgo and Aquarius, Leo and Pisces, Leo and Capricorn, Virgo and Aries, Virgo and Gemini, Libra and Taurus, Libra and Pisces, Scorpio and Aries, Scorpio and Aquarius, Sagittarius and Taurus, Sagittarius and Cancer, Capricorn and Gemini, Capricorn and Leo, Aquarius and Cancer, Aquarius and Virgo, Pisces and Leo, Pisces and Libra.

7.  Thumbs-Down.  Astrologists call this aspect a "square" as these are the signs which are 90 degrees apart from one another.  These signs often suffer a very disjointed relationship with one another.  Communication can be difficult, values and outlooks on the world may be very contrasting and also too difficult to understand.  Often we find ourselves attracted to those who "square" us, yet the clashes and upheavals which come from a lack of understanding can make this dynamic challenging at best, and just unbelievably crappy at worst.  Proceed with extreme caution!  This aspect includes the following signs:  Aries and Cancer, Aries and Capricorn, Taurus and Leo, Taurus and Aquarius, Gemini and Virgo, Gemini and Pisces, Cancer and Aries, Cancer and Libra, Leo and Taurus, Leo and Scorpio, Virgo and Gemini, Virgo and Sagittarius, Libra and Cancer, Libra and Capricorn, Scorpio and Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius, Sagittarius and Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces, Capricorn and Aries, Capricorn and Libra, Aquarius and Taurus, Aquarius and Scorpio, Pisces and Sagittarius, Pisces and Gemini.

More Rituals to Keep Negative Energy at Bay

In times of stress or grief, we are all particularly susceptible to negative energy.  Here are a few ideas to help yourself manifest some forms of psychic protection.  Try adding one (or more) of these to your favorite meditation rituals; they can help you "lock in" positivity and enable you to protect yourself from negative energy.

These were emailed to me from a friend

Meditation:  Force Field of Light

Step One.  Stand (or sit up) as straight and tall as you can possibly manage.  Keep your arms down comfortably at your sides.  Take deep, slow, cleansing breaths.

Step Two.  Mentally scan your body for all tense or uncomfortable points, and release the tension in those parts.  Make sure that every part of you feels relaxed and comfortable.

Step Three.  Imagine that your body is surrounded by light.  Visualize your body being outlined by a bright, shimmering blue or white light.  The light is a strong barrier between you and any negativity that comes near you.

4. Continue to maintain this image and visualize a globe of brilliant white light above (but not touching) your head. The globe is inside of your bright blue aura.

5. Concentrate on this bright white globe so that it becomes brighter, glowing white like burning magnesium.

6. Keep both images of the bright blue aura and the brilliant white globe and mentally aspire to the highest standards of morality, good, and love that you can.

7. Next, feel the white globe showering you with glittering white light filled with silver sparkles. This white light should permeate your entire being, coursing vibrantly through you.

8. The outer shell of your aura should be an intense bright blue filled with the vibrant, sparkling white light. Concentrate on this complete image as long as you can, fully believing in its reality. Feel your outer auric shell as a hard, sharply defined blue as you feel blissful and alert.

9. As you close, let the image fade slowly while believing that it is not fading from reality.




Chakra Spin Protection




This powerful technique unites the chakras to create a shield fully embedded with all aspect of your will and energy. Begin by visualizing performing the Psychic Center Visualization as detailed in the Energy Techniques document. A quick rehash: Charge the crown chakra, and draw a line down to the 3rd eye chakra. Charge the 3rd eye before drawing a line to the throat. Charge and continue to the heart, charge this chakra and draw a line of white light to the solar plexus chakra. After charging the solar plexus you move to the sex chakra, charge it and then onto the root chakra. As mentioned before, this is an adaptation of the traditional chakra system to have a center between the two feet so draw one more line to the ground center and charge this area. Create two lines of light from this center that swoop to each side of you in an upward curve before connecting with the crown chakra above your head. Begin cycling your energy through the lines through breathing.

Instead of stopping at this point continue cycling but move your focus to the curved lines at your side. We want to move these two line simultaneously clockwise so that they being to spin around the body. Let them put of energy as they continue to move faster and faster until their light forms a solid wall of energy that surrounds you. Spin this wall of energy around you for a few moments. When you feel ready, let the image of the chakras fade from your mind, and let the spinning motion end, but hold onto the image of all the energy the chakras surrounded you with.




Burning Flame




The Burning Flame is best used in situations that may be dangerous or that you require a great amount of protection over a short period of time. If you are entering a place/meeting/situation with a terrible amount of negativity you can perform this technique. Some people visualize their shields as a fire surrounding them at all times which is fine, although the method presented here is geared toward an emergency situation or on a temporary basis since it uses high amounts of energy.

Stand perfectly upright with your legs together and your arms flat against your side. Go deep inside yourself to the center of your being. Approach all of this with a confident intensity, your mind focused on your need for protection. Find your center and know that in your center is an intense source of energy, the very energy that all your magical abilities come from. With your consciousness in this core of your being, create an eruption of energy within yourself. Like a volcano building up pressure, cause your energy to rise and expand from your center out. As the energy reaches the outside of your body have it burst into a blue flame that surrounds your body. The curved base of the flame should be at your feet and the tip of the flame above your head. The intense energy flame will burn any outside vibrations before they can reach you. This flame won't harm you physically since it's a spiritual flame, but it will stop any other spirit or energy from touching you. Once the flames surround you, try to keep part of your mind focused on it as you proceed through the situation you felt required extra protection. Imagine more energy fanning the flames stronger and higher as you exhale.

As with any of these techniques, practicing first in a safe place is highly recommended




Mummy Technique




The visualizing of specific shapes forming around your body piece by piece adds focus and resolve to your protection magic, and this is the basis of the mummy technique. Begin by creating the image of a ball of white light glowing just above your head, where the crown chakra or higher-self psychic center is located. Focus on the energy here, increasing its intensity as you focus on it. Visualize white light sweeping down from this powerful sphere in the shape of a wide ribbon that begins to wrap around your head. You may want to leave some space between the energy ribbons and your physical body, perhaps 3-4 inches. Have the ribbon continue to wrap around your head, overlapping itself and creating a solid sheet that surrounds your head in protective energy. Don't stop at the head though. Let the ribbon continue to spin around your shoulders, torso, hips, legs all the way down to the feet, making sure to cover every spot so that you are entirely and safely wrapped. When you work your way down to your feet have it wrap underneath them completing the blanket surrounding you. When you are completely wrapped, hold the image of what you just did in your mind for a few moments before opening your eyes. This exercise is a great way to improve your skills with energy manipulation while benefiting yourself.




Bubble Technique




The most basic technique for protecting oneself magically is to simply imagine yourself inside a ball of white light that turns away any energy before it can touch you. When you visualize this ball of light around you, you want to make sure it appears opaque and solid in your minds eye. This bubble should probably extend about a foot above your head, and at least 6 inches below your feet. It doesn't have to be a perfect sphere; just make it fit around your body in whatever shape seems most comfortable or appropriate. You want to enforce the energy in the areas above and below you to be just as strong as the area in front and behind you. Rest assured that even after you come out of your concentrated state, this bubble will move with you without problem. Any vibrations that touch it will simply pass over and around your shield like the wind moving over your car. In the rare circumstance that your shield comes up against someone else's, it will bend to compensate, but not break. Much like two balloons pressing together. You need to hold the image of an impenetrable force field in your mind for at least a good solid minute or two, before returning to your everyday life.