Dealing With a Narcissist?

This is a term that we tend to throw around casually in ordinary conversation.  Most of us know that a narcissist is a needy, self-absorbed person who often uses others for his or her own ends.  But do you know the criteria for true narcissism?  Check the list below and see which of the following qualities fits the profile of the person on your mind.  If you can answer "yes" to 5 or more of the following, then chances are good that your subject may very well be a narcissist.  In the past, the going rate for narcissism was about 11% of the population.  However, some reports (such as this one and this one) state that the rise of narcissism is something of a new epidemic, with numbers as high as 30% among the younger population.  Interestingly enough, this narcissism isn't a good predictor of life success -- in fact, people with empathy and the ability to focus on others are often much more successful in life than their narcissistic counterparts.

The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of the following:
1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Why Didn't My Love Spell Work?

Spells are essentially prayers or wishes. There are as many spells in existence as there are goals, wishes, and desires. Some of the more common desires that people do spellwork for involve finaces or health, but the most popular spell out there is still the old-fashioned love spell. Many folks swear by their own spellwork, or that of someone else. However, there are still some people out there who may try a hand at spellwork without yielding the desired results.

Why, then, do some spells work perfectly, while others fizzle and fail entirely?  There are many reasons why your spell may not have been so effective.

To understand the most basic reason, you must first understand what spellwork is.  In its most basic definition, spellwork is about concentrating your spiritual energy and focusing it on a particular goal.  Just like a prayer or a wish, a spell requires focus and concentration.   If you are unable to devote the right amount of focus to your spellwork, then its efficacy of the spell will be compromised.  Concentration and focus are vital when doing any sort of spellwork.

Another issue in the effectiveness of one's spells is the materials which are being used.  It is important to try following each instruction as carefully as possible, and to supply the right ingredients for each spell.  In some cases, you may not have the access to every ingredient that is requested in the spell you are using.  Sometimes certain articles can be substituted, and sometimes not.  It also depends on the practitioner; what works really well for one person might not work as well for another.  You need to learn what works for you.

It is also important to understand that someone who is new to spellwork will not have the same results as a seasoned practicioner.  Newbies might feel that casting a spell for personal gain might be an easy shortcut to getting what they want.  However, simply downloading a spell from the internet and following the instructions is not always going to be sufficient.  Experience can help even a weak spell have more powerful results.  If you're not that experienced with spells and you haven't gotten the results that you're seeking, don't give up.  The experience that you gain from your failures will help you to learn what works for you, as well as what doesn't.

Negative energy can also make even the most well-intentioned spell fizzle instead of sizzle.  If you are unable to believe in your own abilities, then why would the universe take this spell seriously?  Faith is a key ingredient to productive spellwork.  Having negativity surround you can also have a serious impact on the efficacy of your spiritual workings as well.  Make sure you keep positive and supportive people around you during this time.  If your spell is to get rid of negative energy, such as in a cleansing spell, you must try your hardest to have faith that the work will be productive.

Patience is also a vital component to successful spellwork.  Some people will do spells, expecting miraculous overnight results.  While this may be the case in movies or books, real magickal work takes time to manifest your desired outcome.  In fact, sometimes it can take years!  If something is worth all of the trouble of concentration, positivity, diligence, and faith, it is also worth the patience to see this situation play out to the end.  Sometimes, you don't get exactly what you'd expected; in time, you will get what is best for you, which in many cases can surpass even your most ardent wishes and expectations.  Help the universe to answer your request by working toward this goal as best as you can, while being open-minded and patient.  The results can be well worth it.

The bottom line about spellwork is that it's complicated.  Every person's ability is different, and as with most things in life, your results will vary.  However, you are likely to see more results when you make the effort and be persistent.  Keep trying, and you may see wonderful things develop!

Aura Patterns and You

The auras of most people can be broken down into one of four categories -- yours may be part of one, or several at once.  Auras are as distinct as the people who possess them, and every single one is different!

1.  Glowing auras.  These tend to be one or two basic colors, or shades of the same color throughout the aura.  There may be large or small spots of a contrasting color interspersed throughout the background.  This aura seems to glow and simmer with a mystical, smouldering energy.  People with this type of aura tend to be passionate, creative, and are often looking for new and unusual ways to complete goals.  On the flip-side, they can often be impatient and have a tendency to jump to conclusions without having all the facts first.  The dynamic glowing aura corresponds to the element of fire signifying our creative life forces, passion, and sexuality.

2.  The smoky aura.  This one can be made up of similar shades, or completely different ones.  You will notice that it is hazy and foggy with either opaque or transparent clouds.  The colors often mix with one another and can seem rather indefinite.  Smoky aura people are often adaptable when the situation calls for it, and intelligent in their own ways (not always the conventional ones), but are prone to have trouble concentrating and focusing.  The smoky aura corresponds to the element of air, which pertains to our intellectual pursuits and higher thinking.

3.  Sparkling auras.  A sparkler tends to have one base color with tiny bits of color (or sparkles) spotting it.  This is similar to a glowing aura, though the spots are smaller, which gives it a shimmery or sparkly appearance.  People with sparkling auras tend to be very good at coping with practical problems.  They are often good at providing a stable center for those around them.  They are also persistent, and willing to work for what they feel is important.  Their negative qualities center around fear of loss or stubborrness in the face of change, but they are strong people who can weather even the toughest of storms.  Sparking auras correspond to the earth element, which has a special link to the physical and tangible.

4.  The banded aura.  Also called a striped, ribboned, or streaked aura, this pattern is an interesting one.  Streaks and bands, of varying thicknesses and directions, can be seen throughout the aura in complimentary or contrasting shades. Those who possess this pattern within their auras tend to be very emotional, nuturing, and inuitive.  Negative aspects of the banded aura include a tendency toward depression, obsession, self-absorption and worry.  The pattern itself corresponds to the element of water, which rules the emotions and inner world.

You may want to try some aura polishing techniques in order to help yourself feel better when you're in need of a change in your life.

A Quick Guide to Using Gems

Since the beginning of recorded civilizations, people have been using crystals to heal and destress.  We can still get the benefits of crystal therapy today -- this is, of course, best when done in conjunction with modern medicine.


Stones of specific colors are used to help specific ailments.  For example stones which are red, orange, and yellow, are thought to produce energy vibrations.  Crystals in cooler colors, such as blues and greens, are reputed to give the user a more relaxing and peaceful effect.  Clear stones and neutral colors are frequently used for healing as well.  You can combine your favorite crystals to make a customized healing regimen just for you!

Here are a few of the most common crystals, along with their reputed abilities.  Choose which ones are right for you and give yourself a tailor-made crystal therapy treatment.


Amethysts:  Good for enhancing patience and alleviating anger or stress.

Aquamarine:  Supposed to be good for the heart, helpful with communication and beneficial for the immune system as well.

Carnelian:  This lovely red stone is just right for cleansing your system of toxins; it works well on your kidneys and circulatory system.  Carnelian is also good for emotional and physical passions, great for enhancing confidence and determination.

Citrine:  Try this one for digestive issues like heartburn or allergies to something you ate.  It's another good detox stone as well, for the intestines or bladder, as well as the liver and kidneys.  This stone is also prized for clear thinking, enhancing one's positivity and willpower.

Coral:  Helps with bone disorders, particularly that of the spine.  It can also help speed up muscle and tissue repair.  Coral is also great for an enhancement of already positive emotions.

Diamond:  Long prized for its beauty and durability, diamonds are said to help reproductive issues.  A diamond can also make you seem more trustworthy to those who are suspicious of others.  They can enhance clarity of thought and also help you strengthen positivity (yours and others').

Emerald:  Wonderful for the lungs and other respiratory functions.  Also a good choice to help you relax and rest, as well as to lessen female complaints.

Jade:  For general longevity, as well as a spiritual and emotional stabilizer.  Jade can also help with the memory and knowledge retention.  It is also reputed to be an abundance stone.

Lapis:  Another great de-stressor that also promotes learning and creative tendencies while reducing fear and anxiety.  This is especially good for people with social anxiety, insomnia, or those who are seeking to expand their intuitive abilities.

Malachite:  This one tames a multitude of beasts; it's a wonderful choice to block or neutralize anger, negativity, or sadness.  It can also put out the fires of inflammatory pain.

Ruby:  Where there are blood disorders, seek a ruby to alleviate them -- enhances the circulatory system, helps blood clots or women's monthly cycles.

Sapphires:  Another great calming and "dreamy" stone to help you become more intuitive.  They can also help inflammation and fevers.

The Meaning of a Red Aura

Red is the hottest, most fiery shade of the spectrum. Corresponding to the element of fire and the Root chakra, it is a hue of passion, sexuality, and creativity.

People with a red aura, regardless of the shade of red or the amount of red within the aura, tend to be passionate and emotional people. They also have much creativity and innovation to offer the world, and thrive in arenas where making and producing are at the forefront. Red aura bearers are also often aggressive and opinionated -- sometimes for good, and sometimes for bad.

Brighter reds tend to be seen in people with higher levels of aggression, and the brighter the red, the more anger is being harbored by the aura bearer. This may be a temporary flash in the aura, but if a bright red color is a more permanent fixture, this person may need to learn how to relax or address the source of his or her anger.  Sometimes aura polishing techniques can help to soothe the burn.  Each aura is unique, and different things may work for various aura colors and aura patterns.  Go with your instincts!

The crimson aura, which is one of the darkest red shades, is a good representative of the versatility of a red aura. Creativity and innovative thinking are paramount in this aura shade.

Burgundy is another very dark, and very creative aura hue. People with a burgundy aura after often very tenacious and able to see difficult situations to the end.

Maroon is a brownish red shade with a deep, dark hue. Like most red-hued aura bearers, people with a maroon aura have a great deal of personal power; however, the brownish cast also helps this aura bearer stay grounded and self-disciplined.

Scarlet is a deep, but vivid red. This can indicate someone who is very confident thinks very highly of him- or herself.

Cinnabar or vermilion auras tend to be brighter and more positive red aura bearers, with a lighter and more artistic personality. They can also be highly charismatic.

People with a magenta aura tend to be seeking new horizons in their life, looking for change and improvement. They often wish to better themselves in body, mind, or personal circumstance.