Today, I saw that my Keen blog had received a question asking for my input. So, here's my take on the situation...
"Fashionfab" wrote:
Hi!
I need some major advice please!!!!!
Okay long story somewhat short lol. I was with a guy for 2 years I
loved him, and I thought he loved me… we spoke about marriage but after a
year he back away and said he has a strict family and they will pick
his wife and he can’t do anything about it (this is actually true it a
culture thing from where he is from) BUT he broke up with me via text
out of the blue… we met one day and 2 days later he sent a message… of
course I was crushed this was my first relationship. Okay so throughout
the breakup I made mistakes and texted him, told him why blah blah… but I
stopped later.
After about 2 years later he messaged me on e-mail saying the major
reason why he broke if off was he knew it wasn’t going anywhere but
refuse to tell me.. and two he wanted a girl to have sex with and I
wasn’t giving it to him because I am a virgin (oh I am now 23) and he
said I was a girl for a man to marry not to mess with. So he found a new
girl and brags that she and him ONLY hang in a parked car and why
couldn’t I do that. I just LOL at it. So the past 2 months him and I
have been talking just as friends. He would always repond to my texts
(which before he would ignore or cuss me out etc, and this is 3 year
after the break up). I told him it great hearing from you and I hope our
path cross… he replied saying God willing our paths do cross I really
hope that. So I just replied saying yeah. we would text throughtout the
day mostly the morning, talking about all sort of stuff, TV, our lives,
just friends talking. So he keep complimenting me and I just say thanns
nothing more to make him feel like I want him back (BUT I DO STILL CARE A
LOT FOR HIM). He than proceeds to say he is loving the way I live my
life and he is envious and jealous. I moved away from the state I used
to live in that he is still in and now in law school… and he always says
he is jealous of me, which I don’t like.. always saying I am beautiful,
that he misses me, wants to see me, calls me a “G” but I just say don’t
be your got it good too… anyways he asked to see me, I said may be when
I am back. So I later told him may be if we meet in public NOT A CAR,
and just get coffee. He agreed and said he would find time. I said sure.
He told me last week that may be this week we would me, well, I text
him saying hey did you find a day so I knew bc i would be leaving back
soon, he didn’t reply.. so I left it. Hours went by nothing. I told my
friend, she took his number and called private without me knowing :/ he
picked up!! So I later text saying I don’t know what’s going on, but I
will respect that bye friend. The next morning he text saying hey, I
replied with hi 2 hours later. He wrote how are you feeling, 2o min
later I said pretty good. THAN he proceeded to ignore me again so I
wrote if you don;t want to talk to me than don’t text or play games. I
don’t want to waste time. I am really sad because I care so much for
him, and am his friend and had faith he would be a MAN and just not play
this game of hot and cold anymore… we are just friends. I am away and
busy so I don’t expect much from him but a polite I can’t meet up but
have a safe trip back maybe next time or just if he doesnt want to talk
to ne stop talking don’t talk to me than, ignore. The week is over and I
am going back to my University I didn’t hear from him….
OH, and he kept saying he would come visit me in the state I am in
now bc it is a tourist state, and said we would have fun and just hang…
he was saying/asking would it be awkward, i said no but if we meet it
would take the awkwardness away….
So will he ever text me? Because I secretly do want to hear from him
again??? Why does he do this? is he fooling me? Please help, my heart
is broken again. I been hurting for almost 4 year becouse of this guy…
this is a long long long story that is very condense. He is kind of a
jerk, obivosly a player since he left to find a sex buddy. I feel like
he doesn’t care, yet I still do. He says I am a great friend and that he
has love for me, but why alway do this?
Do you think he will ever call me or text me? I need you help!!!!! please
My response was:
Fashionfab, I definitely feel that you'll be hearing from him again.
However -- right now, he is just way too immature to give you the kind
of treatment that you want. I know that you care about him, but his
games & rejection are intended to make YOU always feel like you have
something to prove to him -- yet he's the one who needs to grow up and
STEP up! He has control of this situation & he knows it. In order
to get it back, stop being the one to initiate texts. If he wants you,
make him work for it. :) And if he wants friendship, that's fine too,
but same rules apply because he needs to learn to treat you with
respect.
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