Dealing With Unhealthy Attachments

Getting mired down in bad situations can bring your emotional well-being to a screeching halt!

We all need to weather things that we don't like.  From time to time, you might need to take a job that doesn't exactly thrill you.  Perhaps you'll be required to interact with people who are less than nice -- but you've gotta do it.  Life often has messes to clean, people to handle, problems to manage.  It's just the way things are.

That said, there is a dark side to this coin... or, should I say, an even darker side?  There are times and situations into which we will immerse our own selves, yet there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to it.  Perhaps we're stuck in a dead-end job, despite our fine qualifications.  Or maybe we allow ourselves to continue in a very unsatisfying and harmful relationship instead of ending things and moving along into a healthier direction.

We don't always make our own misery in life -- there's plenty which is handed to us.  However, because there are so many things in life which cannot be controlled, there really is no reason to continue dealing with unhealthy and upsetting things when we can control them.

When you choose to move your life into a healthy direction, you're choosing happiness.  You're choosing life and positivity with all who know you.  You are enabling yourself to give and receive love more freely when you let go of unhealthy attachments.  It can be incredibly hard not to fall into traps like this -- but so rewarding when you free yourself.

The Limitations of Your Past

Everyone has his or her own history.  Sometimes, your previous accomplishments can propel you in to bigger and better achievements.  However, it can also work in the opposite way, as well.  Your failures, your mistakes, and your losses can also freeze you into place.

What you need to remember is that the past is just that -- the past.  Today is a new day, and you can do things in a brand new way.  You don't need to ride on the coattails of previous successes.  You don't have to allow former mistakes and screw-ups to limit your current abilities.  Yesterday's terrible choices may have resulted in difficult predicaments for you today, but that doesn't mean tomorrow will be equally awful.  Make better choices today.  Turn over a new leaf.  Develop new habits, start new mindsets, and begin trying new ways of doing things.

Instead of allowing past hurts and losses to keep you afraid from living in new and healthy ways, take that chance.  Know that self-improvement can be hard, but it is a doable and workable thing.  Life can surprise you.  Just try it and see.

The Futility of Blaming Yourself and Others

The common saying goes, "When you point a finger at someone else, you have three more pointing back at you."  It's true that many folks tend to use the power of blame as a weapon against being wrong, taking responsibility, and losing the current argument!  And many times, the person who's doing the blaming tends to be at least as responsible for the problem on the table.

Naturally, there is a difference between misplacing blame on others, and legitimate blame which falls squarely in the court of a transgressor who has made mistakes (or consciously detrimental choices).  However, in the moment of crisis, blaming others is not really a very productive way to handle things.  If you are being blamed, you must clean up your own mess.  If the mess is the fault of another, you need to decide:  is this action going to help the situation?  Or will it make things worse?  Most of the time, a bad situation really needs to be handled before adding another layer of problems on top of what already exists.

Once your mess has been cleaned up, it is then time for the offending parties to take responsibility for his or her actions.  If that's you, take your medicine.  Learn.  Make amends in whatever reasonable ways are required by the people and situations at hand.  If it's someone else, give that person the chance to make things right.  Forgive, forget, and move on with your life.

If the person to blame has no remorse for his or her transgressions, you may need to re-evaluate the realities of this relationship.

Dealing With Ideas That Limit You

In short, get rid of them!

When you have beliefs, ideas, or impressions that curtail your own emotional development, you are committing a true act of cruelty upon yourself.  You're hindering your own progress and putting roadblocks up in the way of your own happiness.

Self-reflection can be an important part of growing up, no matter what age you may be.  Try getting out of your own comfort zone from time to time.  Dip your toes into new and unusual places -- it may be exciting or even frightening, but it will definitely expand your mind and show you cool new ways of living and thinking.

When you remove your old, limiting ways of thinking, you are opening yourself up to wild new possibilities for happiness and fulfillment!

"You can get through anything if you stay put in today."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom. There's something for everyone! I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson: "You can get through anything if you stay put in today."

An old adage that is commonly used in time of stress or discord is "one day at a time."  Each day will bring you joy and sorrow, sweet and bitter.  Make the most of every day of your life, and those moments which are good and bad.  When a problem comes up, or you become immersed in crisis, the temptation to run away from the problem is great.  Ignoring or checking out when things get tough can be a seductive and tempting option indeed.  But, instead of simply shutting down or running away, you are best served to deal with your discord head-on.  By staying firmly grounded in the issues which are in front of you, you will be able to deal with them and to move on with your life -- in peace and fulfillment.


Visit Regina's website here.

How To Be Sexier For Your Man, Lesson #1: Confidence

Let's talk a little about how to be sexy for your man -- whether it's a new boyfriend that you're just connecting with, or your lifelong husband who knows you all too well.

Before we begin, I do want to state that in a relationship that's based on love and respect, it's healthy to take your lover's needs and wants into consideration. Please the one you love, and be pleased in return.

Have you ever noticed that some girls seem to attract a lot of guys, even if they aren't particularly beautiful, and don't seem really special in any way? There's a secret that they know, which I'm going to let you in on right now.

The real key is confidence. Confidence can make anyone -- from the beautiful to the downright ugly -- seem exceptionally intriguing.

The best place to start is within your own mind. If you project a sexy energy and try to keep a positive, confident mindset, your man will definitely feel that energy. And he'll sense that sexy inner glow that you're projecting for him.

Casting Spells on Other People

As a professional psychic and spirit worker, I have been asked to cast spells for people.  I'm happy to do so, with certain conditions.  If you're unsure about whether or not to cast a spell on someone, feel free to go by my list of three important self-imposed rules for safe and successful spellcasting.

1.  The first rule of casting a spell on someone is this:  In order to stay safe, to make sure you're not doing something "evil."  Spellwork that comes from a place of light, or positivity, or "The Source" will not harm other people.  In your magick, as well as the rest of your life, take care to "harm none" and you'll be much safer.  Avoid casting hexes or curses, as the negative energy that you emit from this is bound to come back to you -- according to some traditions, threefold, tenfold, or even more!  No one wants that!

2.  Don't cast a spell on someone which forces them to do something against their will.  This is the case with things such as love or breakup spells.  While it is possible that they can work, their actions will not be motivated by their heart.  A spell such as this never really creates lasting love, or any lasting feeling, nor will it create the feeling in a sincere and heartfelt way.  Instead, what you'll get is a hollow echo of the real thing, and you'll wind up miserable.  Trust me, I've seen it happen!

3.  Never cast a spell on someone without their permission.  Even if you think you're helping that person, it is a violation of someone's personal boundaries for you to determine what you think is best for them.  If they come to you and ask, then it's fine!  If you ask them ahead of time and they're OK with it, it's also fine.  But imposing your will on other people can actually become more harmful than helpful.  The one exception to this is when you know that someone is experiencing a real emergency or crisis; just as "implied consent" in an emergency compels medical professionals to treat seriously ill patients, so can spiritual workers imply consent for those experiencing major crises as well.

"Life is too short to waste time hating anyone."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!
I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Life is too short to waste time hating anyone."

If we're very lucky, most of us will see about seventy years worth of laughter, tears, fun, fear, garbage, and awesomeness.  We'll have dreams and we'll see them through, or maybe they won't work out at all.  But we should all aspire to fill our lives with as much love as we can -- love for ourselves, for each other, for the world.  Hate is a difficult emotion to handle, because it poisons everything that it touches.  Emotions like hurt and fear often turn into hate.  It can be hard to control.  I'm not going to say "If someone hurts you, forgive them and everything will be wonderful and you can love them again!"  It doesn't always work like that.  Stuff's complicated.  But one thing I do know is that if you dwell on all of the bad things which are done to you, and obsess over the people that you dislike or even hate, you'll be taking time away from doing what you love -- and you could also be spending that time with the ones who love you.   Hating can be a tempting thing indeed.  But even if you can't forgive or forget readily, remember not to lose sight of the fact that you are in control of how you share your emotional time.  Don't harm yourself with negativity.  Try to rise above it and place your focus elsewhere.


Visit Regina's full list of life lessons on her site, here. :)

Physical Signs and Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

When physical manifestations of a spiritual awakening occur, you may or may not be feeling like our muscle-bound friend here!  But there are some documentations of what a spiritual awakening feels like in your body, as well as how to deal with the repercussions.  Enjoy!

New and unusual physical changes.  Physical issues or complaints that you thought were long resolved may be popping back up, or perhaps the reverse is true; issues which seem to plague you on a regular basis seem to be fading or, at least, not bugging you as much.  You may experience tiredness, muscle cramps, changes in hearbeat, libido changes (for good or ill), migraines or back pain.  It's always best to talk to your doctor when you experience physical changes, illness symptoms, or pain, and it is what I always recommend.  However, do not panic (unless your medical professional advises you to do so!).  Many times, spiritual awakenings will tax our bodies in ways that we would not realize or expect.

Surprising and unexpected energy bursts that prompt you into action, along with periods of overwhelming lethargy and tiredness.  You may feel like you're ready to leap out of your chair and go slay a dragon one day, followed by a wave of fatigue only moments later.  Your energy levels may be shifting and it will take you some time to get used to those changes.  The best way to handle such energy shifts is to go with the flow.  When you have an energy burst, use it to your advantage.  Try to recognize a pattern so that when you do have bouts of energy, you can accomplish things without getting stuck halfway through.  If you feel tired and need to rest, do it.  Sleep when you need to sleep, even if you happen to require more rest than you previously did; if you're tired but not able to fall asleep, try doing something soothing but productive; I like to read, catch up on my emails, blog or work on whatever book I'm writing.  Find ways to occupy your mind and get things done until you are suitably ready to rest.

Feeling more in sync with cyclical changes in nature.  As the moon goes through each of its phases, you may be experiencing certain physical or emotional sensations that are associated with those phases.  You may notice that you are increasingly aware of weather patterns and seasonal cycles.  A stronger connection to nature and a heightened sense of awareness of the earth's changes can be beneficial to you.

Nails and hair growing faster than usual.  This may be a sign that you're also craving additional protein in your diet, and the body is making use of it.  You may also notice that the quality of the hair and nails has changed as well.  Perhaps your nails are stronger and break less.  Or your hair is smoother and more luminous, with less breakage and more durability.

Fluttering heartbeat.  Spiritual awakenings can cause disturbances in several of the body's natural processes.  The circulatory system, and the major organs, are no different.  When you heart chakra becomes extremely full and sensitive, you may experience what is known as benign PVCs.  A racing, pounding heart which begin and ends with no rhyme or reason can indicate stress or an opening of the heart chakra.  Always check with your doctor whenever you have any cardiac issues, however.  Make sure that there are no other issues which may be making you ill, as heart conditions are serious business!

A heightened sense of physical sensitivity, especially with the skin.  A spiritual awakening can cause dermatological issues such as rosacea, shingles, breakouts, and hives.  Many of these conditions are often caused by stress and nerves; spiritual changes are no different.  Some psychological issues, when left unchecked, can come out through the pores as people tend to bottle up traumatic or problematic issues.  Try to de-stress as much as you possibly can.  Treat both your symptoms as well as your underlying emotional issues.

You may also experience more physical sensitivity with your other senses.  Eyesight may be clearer and more keen, though the sensitivity could also become painful where there are bright lights or with visuals that require more focus and concentration.  Your senses of smell and taste can also become quite intense, particularly the sense of smell.  With a sharper sense of smell, you can pick up on a great many additional things, however, you must be careful; scents that you usually love may become too intense for you, and may make you ill.  Sense of touch can also manifest a great deal more sensitivity; textures and temperatures that are ordinarily pleasurable or at least tolerable may be too difficult for you to handle.  Hearing may also be sharper and you might find that you can hear things much more easily than you used to do, but noises and sounds which are too loud or intense may become harder to tolerate.


Migraines, headaches, and other unfamiliar sensations of the head or scalp.  You may be experiencing more frequent sensations along your crown chakra as it begins to accept new information.  These can come in the form of migraines, pressure, tingling, or itching.  Some people have reported feeling a gentle pressure or the feeling of "picking up" new energies from this chakra.  If your doctor rules out any other conditions, and you feel it is your crown chakra opening to accept new energy, simply wait it out.  The sensations become less stimulating over time.

New eating habits, unplanned weight losses and gains, unusual cravings.  Your weight may fluctuate in unexpected ways.  Or, your eating habits might change; you may be experiencing cravings that you never used to have.  Perhaps you've developed the adverse reaction, and have been having issues tolerating something that you used to enjoy.  Maybe you're famished during each meal, when before you'd merely pick at your food.  Regardless of the new changes in your food and weight habits, these are all signs of other spiritual, physical, or emotional changes in your life.  Try not to worry so much about the weight issues, unless you're approaching unhealthy over- or underweight states; these may be temporary.  Take some exercise, make sure you're staying healthy and keeping in touch with your doctor or nutritionist, and pay attention to the signals that your body is sending you.  It is telling you what it needs.

Unexpected surges of energy.  You may be getting hot and cold flashes at random times, or perhaps you feel waves of power or energy surges coursing through your body.  These may be gently felt, or they could be more powerful waves of energy.  Rather than worry about the source of this energy, embrace it and appreciate that it is just your body changing and reattuning itself to a new spiritual level.

"When in doubt, just take the next small step."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!  This week, I am reflecting on the following lesson:  "When in doubt, just take the next small step."

These days, life seems to be more complicated than it has ever been.  Or, is it?  We all remember simpler times when choices were a lot easier, and our paths might have seemed a lot more clear-cut.  When you simplify everything and focus on the path ahead of you -- the small step in front of you -- things will seem more manageable.  When you're overwhelmed, try breaking things down and just go for that small step.  Those little victories can add up to a big success!



Visit Regina's website here.

"Does He Like Me?" Even More Ways To Tell If He Likes You!

He smiles a lot when he's around you.

He stares at you... (Your face, not just your other body parts.)

He becomes clumsy, tongue-tied, or awkward around you.

He remembers small details about you that other people don't remember.

He touches you -- even low-key subtle touching.

He sticks up for you.

He behaves in a more cool, mature way when you're around.

He shares a playlist with you. (Very intimate!)

He asks real questions about your life. (Other than just "How's it going?)

He asks if you want to "hang out" casually.  (If he really likes you, he may
be nervous to actually ask for a DATE!)

He asks questions about you to your friends.

He tries to find out who you like: is it someone else?  Or maybe it's him?

He says your name a lot when you talk with him.

He calls you, texts you, or chats with you on Facebook more than he used to.

He talks about other girls around you, trying to make you jealous.

He refers to you by a nickname (even a slightly teasing one).He laughs at your jokes... even the ones that aren't very funny.

When he jokes about something, he looks at you first to see your reaction.

He talks as if you're a couple, makes flirty references to you, jokes about dating you, etc.

He compliments the way you look.

"Life isn't fair, but it's still good."

Writer Regina Brett's life lessons are great little nuggets of wisdom.  There's something for everyone!

I'll be reflecting on this week's lesson:  "Life isn't fair, but it's still good."  There are many inequalities in everyone's lives -- you're always bound to find someone richer, happier, more fulfilled, healthier... I could go on and on.  But there's always something wonderful, special, and beautiful in your own life for which you can be grateful.  Don't dwell on what you lack in life all the time.  Appreciate what you have, too.  Plenty of folks around the world have much less.  Life isn't always perfect, but there's so much to appreciate!


Visit Regina's website here.

How to Cut Toxic People & Negative Friends Out of Your Life

Connections with other people are one of life's greatest joys. Interacting with those that you love and who love you can make the difference between an awful day and an amazing one.

However, we all have people in our lives who are less than perfect. In fact, no one in this world is perfect! There will be times when our best friends, loved ones, and life partners will have bad days. They might grumble, they might be negative, or they may even be snarky and mean to us. Or, we might be the ones who are feeling negative, and will do the same to other people. This is normal and natural -- everyone has good days and bad. If we love each other, we'll put up with it, because the bad is often outweighed by the good.

But there are also people who don't quite fit this mold. You know the types I'm talking about -- the drama queens, the judgmental jerks, the negativity sinks, the time wasters, negative friends, and the users. (I have a book about emotional vampires, which you can peruse here, which goes into greater depth about the types of emotional vampires that we deal with on a day to day basis.) When you care about someone, but they are depleting you, perhaps it's time to have a heart-to-hear with them about what's going on. It is okay to speak up and explain to your negative friends when your needs aren't getting met. Don't assume that you're being selfish just because you're standing up for yourself and your own well-being. (Also… here's a radical thought: What's so wrong with being a bit selfish now and again, anyway?) Dump that toxic friend! You do not need to spend time with someone who's draining away your energy.

If you've already had these conversations with those negative friends, and you're still searching for ways to end a friendship gracefully, chances are that your needs are still not being met. I'm assuming that you've already taken a good, long look at the friendship, including the parts that you had played in your dealings with this emotional vampire.

You may be feeling as though you've tried all of the solutions that you can -- speaking from the heart, setting limits, enforcing boundaries, or saying "no" once in awhile, only to continue to be met with disrespect, negativity, or a lack of reciprocity. It's now time for you to cut this toxic friendship from your life, so that you can invest that time in focusing on bigger and better things.

There are two ways that you can go about this: The easy way (which is often harder!), and the hard way (which is often easier!). Either can be effective; it simply depends on the type of negative person you are cutting out of your life.

The easy one has one basic step: Just cut them out. Quit calling or texting them. Stop taking their calls, unfriend them online, quit inviting them to your functions, and stop going to theirs. If you have mutual friends, you must also resist the temptation to talk about them with those friends. The drawback of this is that there could be some backlash, particularly if you're close. However, if this "friend" has done an egregious thing to you, betrayed a major trust, or committed some significant act of betrayal, it may be the way to go.

The hard way involves keeping the negative friend in your life. However, you'll simply be spending less time with them. (I must admit, I've done this method before! It works!) This method is much better for people that you do like, but are just too difficult to be around all the time. Maybe they're very high-maintenance, very negative, or just really different from you in uncomfortable ways. Perhaps they don't respect your boundaries and don't seem to respond well to discussions or other attempts to correct it. However, if they genuinely mean well and are not going out of their way to hurt you, the "hard way" is worth a try. It will take a lot more time, but will also be much easier on your friendship. Encourage this person to branch out and do new things -- this way, there'll be less time for them to bug you. ;) Pare down your communication: for example, if you speak on the phone every day or two, try cutting down to a couple times a week. If you hang out every week, try canceling from time to time and see if you can get it down to a couple of times a month. Make a plan to reduce the amount of time that you spend with him or her. Write it down on your calendar if you need to, but stick to the plan. On the occasions that you do talk or hang out, keep things positive and cordial. I'd also recommend that, during any conversation that you do have, you try to insert details about things that are keeping you so busy -- talk about your kids, your job, any hobbies or interests or obligations which might take up your time. You don't need to complain about these types of things (unless they truly are driving you nuts!), but making sure to acknowledge them will help take the edge off with your friend.

If you have mutual friends, and you try the above method, you may be required to spend time with this person anyway. That's okay! Sometimes being in a group with the toxic person can make things a lot more palatable. You'll both have other people to talk with, and you can even spend time together in a more controlled setting.

A few words of caution: If you're trying valiantly to keep things civil and the other person is not being accepting of the way things are, things could get dicey. Try the following phrases to diffuse tension:

"I understand."

"I'm sorry."

"Let's talk about this later, when we've both had time to calm down."

Whether you actually agree with the above statements is not the point. Diffusing a tough situation is the name of the game. Anyone who is going to throw tantrums, though, might need you to revert back to "the easy method."

Does this technique sound passive-aggressive? I know that some aspects of it certainly are. However, when you're dealing with an emotional vampire, sometimes it's much easier to do things gently as it helps to minimize the drama which is the emotional vampire's lifeblood. It also helps to preserve your sanity, as well.

Words of Wisdom from Mother Teresa

 It is said that this beautiful quote was written on Mother Teresa's bedroom wall.  Wise words indeed!

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway. 
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway. 
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.   Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.   It was never between you and them anyway."

Having an Awesome Life, Lesson #11: Do What You Love

This lesson sounds way too simple to be true -- but it is!  If you're anything like the rest of the world, you have little things that you secretly love.  Those guilty little pleasures that you'd rather die than admit to, but secretly, you're loving every nasty little second of it.

I'm talking about things like the secret way that you sing in the shower, or dance in the bathroom when no one's around.  Or the illicit thrill you get when flipping through the TV channels, and you come across a tacky talk-show or a really bizarre movie that you're way to "cool" to admit to loving.

Why not embrace those little quirks that you try so hard to deny?  There is nothing wrong with doing what you love, and being proud of it.  Even if you consider those loves to be too trivial, too silly, or too out of character -- so what?  You need to make time in your life for a bit of levity and fun.  Not every second of your life has to be dedicated solely to accomplishing goals and achieving successes.  You need to make time to appreciate the simple, fun, and enjoyable things as well. 

Pursue happiness wherever it pleases you.  Remember how things where when you were a child, chasing fun and frivolity when the mood strikes.  Balancing work and play can make your life much happier, much more productive, and much more awesome!

Q&A: Best Time to Launch a Website?

I recently got an email asking when would be a good time to get a business off the ground.  The person thought that the new moon might be a good time -- and it is!  But there are other options, as well.


Actually, I might try launching a business during the full moon, when it is at its most potent.  Or a waxing moon, as you gain lots of "acquisition" energy. 

The sun is currently in Virgo, and will be there until the end of this month -- which makes it a great time to handle anything involving communication and technology.  The next sign is Libra, which as an air sign, rules more over the intellect and therefore would be a decent second choice. :)

Having an Awesome Life, Lesson #9: The Miracles of Kindness

Are you feeling depressed?  Bogged down by your problems?  Annoyed at just about everyone else in the world?  Maybe it seems like others have an easier, funner, better life.  Perhaps you're feeling bored, stuck in a rut, or just plain inadequate.  Maybe you have no idea what direction your life should be taking.  What can you do then, you might ask.

The secret to this is actually very simple.  If you're having trouble getting your own life to the place where you want it -- whether you've lost your way, or feel at a loose end -- you can find a way to feel better in a snap.  Try showing some kindness to others!

Helping other people can give you a whole new lease on life.  It can make you feel like a hero, because that's just what you'll be.  It can help to eliminate boredom, because it will give you plenty to do and lots of satisfaction with doing it.  You will always have something on the agenda if you try volunteering for something, doing charity work, and connecting with people who share your values.  Helping other people can also make your problems seem really small and much easier to handle than they do now; by focusing on others and seeing issues that are truly devastating, it makes your complaints about the annoying co-worker who chews with his mouth open a lot more trivial and manageable.

Remember that you don't need to go running off to your nearest non-profit organization in order to help someone.  Flip through your mental inventory of loved ones, friends, family, and neighbors.  How about shoveling the snow off of your neighbor's car while you're doing your own?  Next time you're making dinner, throw twice as much in the pot to cook and take some over to a friend who's too busy or tired to make some for herself.  Offer to do some errands for that sick relative.  Even spending a few minutes to help make someone else's day a little better can do wonders for them as well as for you.

Best of all, you will get so much personal satisfaction out of helping other people.  It's better than the self-esteem boost, the extra activity, and the inner makeover of your own issues.  The great feeling that you'll get from being one of the good guys, and from seeing others benefit from your efforts, is one of the most awesome things you can experience.  And that will carry over to some serious awesome life points!

Does God Exist?

Regardless of your faith -- take a moment to imagine that God does not exist.  (If you are an atheist, this should be easy!)  Envision our lives as simply... being here.  We are born, be live, and we pass into oblivion.  The rest of civilization continues long after us; they carry the memory of us for a time.  Our genetics are passed down, but other than that, we ourselves are gone forever.

And now, ask yourself... is that really so bad?  Would our lives cease to be meaningful?  Would we love one another any less?  Would our lives be less of a struggle than before?  Would we care more or less about our lives?

Perhaps some of our ideas may shift.  Without thought of a Hell as punishment or a Heaven as reward, some of our behaviors would likely change a bit.  We may find that we live more in the moment with our behavior, our words, and our thoughts.  We may realize that instead of looking to the heavens for consequences, we can find those rewards and punishments here on earth, with our lives being created in the image of our own personal heaven or hell.  Instead of looking to God for help or being annoyed with God when live isn't up to our own expectations, we would look inside ourselves.  And the power to change our situations would exist solely within us.

Instead of blaming God for the things that go wrong in your life, try taking responsibility for your actions and situations in life.  Look around; are there things about this world that bother you?   Awful things happen every day, to so many people.  You have the power to change a part of the world, however small that part is.  Instead of blaming God, or expecting God to pick up the slack, try jumping in and helping.

Don't wait for heaven.  Create a heaven in your own lifetime.  Be good to others.  Use the powers you have been blessed with, to create change when you see a wrong that is in need of correction. Enjoy every second of your time on earth.  Love those around you.

Whether or not you believe in the existence of God is not the issue.  What is the issue, is how you choose to live your life.  Regardless of how we came to be on this planet, here we are.  This is our home, and it is our responsibility to take care of it as well as to show positive regard for those who share our home.

You can begin anytime.  You must understand that, regardless of your beliefs, that concept of God does exist.  God lives within you and me, and everyone else.  God is that perfect, loving part inside your heart that wants to do the most good possible, and to believe in the goodness of our fellow humans.  Honor that part within yourself and others by creating positive changes in the world around you.  Change happens slowly and starts small.  But it can begin with you.

Having an Awesome Life: Lesson #8, Keep It Real

You might notice that the drawing style for this month's Awesome Life affirmation is a little different than those from the months before it.  Well, there's a reason for that.

In a world that often seems to push a homogenized lifestyle, uniqueness is given a rather low value at times.  But there's no way around it: we're all different.  Every person on this planet has unique traits, qualities, abilities, and thoughts.  There's nothing wrong with being a special snowflake, is there?  Of course not!

An emotion that many people seem to experience is fear of rejection.  We often worry that the ways that we may be different from others will alienate us; our values, thoughts, or lifestyles will drive other people away or cause us pain because we will not be accepted.  While there's always the risk of experiencing disapproval from those around us, it's also important to be able to look in the mirror each day and realize that you are living your true will.

As long as you're not infringing on other people's rights to safety and happiness, there is nothing at all wrong with keeping it real.  In fact, there's a lot of good that comes out of being yourself and meeting life on your own unique terms.  It is very satisfying to be admired and respected for being your own original self.

Learn what makes you special and unique.  Keep it real!

How To Deal With the Loss of a Pet

Here's a picture of my beloved Clovis, who will have been gone for 10 years today.  She was my first bunny, and I can't tell you how much I lover her still.  What an amazing girl she was!  She was only 4 pounds, but this Holland Lop taught me about bunnies, and a lot about myself too.  Even now, I know she's watching over me from the beyond.

Not everyone can understand how it feels to lose a cherished pet.  Whether you're experiencing with the loss of your cat, trying to handle the death of your dog, or dealing with losing another pet who has passed away, the shock of grief can be surprising to you.  Perhaps you did not expect this loss to affect you the way it is doing.  However, many people across the world have experienced this pain.  You're not alone.  We all need a hand in dealing with our pain sometimes.  Here are a few tips to help you get through this difficult time.  

Give yourself ample time to grieve.  This cannot be overstated!  Folks who are not animal lovers will never understand.  Even though our pets are not humans, they are are still a part of our family.  You won't feel better overnight, so allow yourself a few days to get over the initial shock and grief.  If you can take a day or two off of work, go for it.  Take a "mental health day" or two if you feel that you need it.  Give yourself a bit of time to feel your emotions and to adjust.

Talk with others who will understand.  Not everyone is going to acknowledge that your pet is worth mourning.  I still remember when my favorite rat, who had lived almost 3 years, passed suddenly when I was across the country.  I got the phone call from my brother, and later when my great-grandmother called me to see how I was doing, she said "You shouldn't feel that way about an animal."  (I loved my Gram dearly, but she just wasn't an animal person!)  When Clovis was ill in the hospital, one of my in-laws told me not to worry, I can just buy a "Clovis #2" if she didn't make it.  Neither of these statements were meant to make me feel bad; they both came from people who love me!  But some folks will get it, and some won't.  It's a lot better to talk about your pet (and your feelings) with those who do get it.  Anything less will just make you feel worse, belittle your feelings (unintentionally, I'm sure!), and just piss you off unnecessarily.  

Share the memories with folks who knew your pet.  This is a common healing technique that people often use with their kids, when a beloved dog or cat dies.  But why limit it to young people, when it can be beneficial to just about anyone?  Talk about the good times.  Remember the funny things that your cat used to do.  Talk about how cute your dog was when you first brought him home.  Look at pictures, tell stories, and enjoy the stroll down memory lane.  Remembering is a wonderful way to begin healing after the loss of your pet.

Keep their things close by.  You'd think that this might make it hurt more, but in those first days after your pet dies, having their toys, their special blankie, or their other important items near can actually be comforting to you.  Over time, you may want to start boxing up their things.  Toss some of them if and when you feel ready.  You can also donate things that are still good, or maybe just save their things.  I still have Clovis's "bunny bed" (it was actually a small dog bed that she'd snooze on in the living room sometimes), and her soft stuffed carrot that squeaks -- a full decade later!  I also have my Seamus's "cone of shame" from the bunny vet.  I don't think I'll ever give them away.  Right now, they're in my storage space, but it feels nice just knowing I can visit them whenever I feel the need.

When you're feeling ready, adopt a new pet!  I know you'd feel like you're "cheating" on them... but after a suitable time, you may want to open your heart and home to a new dog or cat.  The loss of a pet can be traumatic and upsetting, but after your pet has died, you may find that you want to get a new one at some point.  I waited about six weeks after Clovis died; I knew that she would have wanted me to adopt a bunny who was homeless, and who needed me.  We wound up adopting two, and they were with us for seven great years!  (And after they were gone, we adopted two more bunnies!)  Knowing Clovis gave 4 other bunnies the chance to be adopted and loved!  When your pet dies, try to think of what would do the best good.  Taking that into consideration can help you to make the right decision.