What Does a Yellow Aura Mean?

Yellow is a bright, warm color within the aura spectrum.  This hue corresponds to the elements of air as well as earth, with a nod towards fire.  Yellow corresponds to the Solar Plexus chakra, and is a versatile and uplifting color.  Yellow aura bearers tend to be dreamers, and they often dream big.  Those who possess this auric shade can often enlighten and uplift those around them with their positivity and genuine interest in helping other people.  However, don't let this uplifting shade fool you; there is a "dark side" to the yellow aura as well.  While there is a tendency to cheerfulness and helpfulness, there is also a talent for glibness, and in some people, the ability to maniplulate and take advantage.  This auric presence is truly a unique one.

Pastel yellow, contrary to many of its yellow-hued cousins, is actually found in the auras of shy, introverted people.  While the concern for others and clarity of thought are present, the people skills aren't always there.  This person would do well to try coming out of his or her shell to deepen their yellow aura hue a bit.

Maize yellow, which is another pale shade of yellow resembling uncooked corn, can also indicate introverted tendencies.  However, this aura bearer is not nervous or shy; they are simply unaware of others' feelings or presences.  This shade is often found in daydreamers or "clueless" types of people.  The maize aura is not necessarily bad, but is often a work in progress, and thus is more likely to be seen in younger people -- or in older folks who haven't quite grown up!

Sunshine yellow (think of Big Bird!) is a tremendously positive and confident representation of the yellow aura.  The sunshine aura bearer's enthusiasm and enjoyment of life is contagious to all those around him or her.

Lemon yellow is a deeper shade than sunshine.  While some see this shade as an indication of shaky confidence and a perpetual fear of loss, it is also important to realize that lemon yellow auras can also reflect a tremendous inner strength which can override these fears if the bearer possesses enough tenacity.  If other colors are present in the aura, especially reds, browns, or blues, this fear and worry can be offset by practicality or self-soothing capabilities.

Goldenrod is a dustier, dimmer yellow which tends less in the direction of outward chipper tendencies, and into a more calm and inspirational ability.  These people can charm and motivate with their natural charisma, but must be wary of a tendency to take advantage of others.  Look for other aura colors to help strike a balance.

Mustard yellow is a more intense version of the goldenrod aura.  However, these people will often manipulate or control other people, usually without realizing that they're doing it.  Be careful of someone with a mustard aura -- they are not beyond help, but it's not easy for a yellow aura bearer to change, and even tougher to come to the realization that they need to change.  Try some aura polishing techniques if you need a positive change.  Every aura is different, and different things may work for various aura colors and aura patterns.  Do what feels right for you!

Crystal Grids and More Layouts for Healing & Cleansing

Regardless of whether your actions are positive or negative, the theory of Karma will keep you responsible for your behavior.  Whatever you live and present to the universe is the same energy that you will come to receive in return.  Often, we carry our karma with us from lifetime to lifetime.  At times, it may be necessary to heal the damage from the past which is carried over into the present life.

Crystals can play a part in the healing and purification of this damage.  As your karma is repaired, you will be more able to move on with your current life in a more positive and meaningful way.  

To utilize crystals in this way, hold your favorite cleansing gemstones with your fingers or lay them against your "third eye" in the middle of your forehead -- this is your sixth chakra, the brow chakra, which deals with our natural intuition. Lay these crystals in the desired position around your third eye, and allow them to cleans and purify the area.  This can help to reduce or even eliminate stagnation or congested energy, making way for the fresh and vibrant stuff which is waiting to cross over.

You can also use what is called a "crystal grid" for a purifying ritual.  This is just a technical term for any type of arrangement of crystals.  If you place multiple stones on yourself, your meditation space, or another person for healing in any shape that you desire, it can be referred to as a crystal grid.

The best shapes to use are religious and spiritual shapes that are meaningful to you.  Try a cross, a star of David, a pentacle, crescent moon, or other mystical symbols that represent your higher power.  If you'd rather not use a religious symbol, try using other shapes that are positive and promote healing -- for example, hearts, stars, a peace sign, or even a smiley face.  Some crystal aficianados will say that there are specific rules and symbols that will be more powerful than others, but my personal feeling is that you will never be steered wrong by your own intuition.  Choose the shapes that are meaningful to you.

I've Been Waiting for You

I've Been Waiting For You is a slice of grunge-era 1990s horror cinema that's just plain fun!  Sarah Zoltanne, a boho hippie chick (played by the stunning Sarah Chalke) moves from California to a sleepy New England town, where she must contend with a teen clique's suspicion due to an ancient curse which was put on their families.  The curse, cast by a witch named Sarah Lancaster, promised to exact revenge on her accusers' descendants, which all just happened to be the cool, popular kids at school.  The kids befriend Sarah in a way that goes hopelessly wrong when they find out that the fake "psychic readings" she does at a Halloween party turn out to be real.  One by one, the kids fall prey to witch's curse, and when Sarah Zoltanne is accused of being the witch reincarnated, she gets caught in the middle of the drama.  Of course, there is a spooky plot twist at the end, but you'll have to see it for yourself.

This move was based on a 1997 young adult book called Gallows Hill which was written by Lois Duncan. While the book was a framework for this move, there were tons of changes.  For example, in the original novel, the curse was placed on the families by a group of people accused of witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts; several of the real victims of false accusations were referenced in the book.  In the movie, the historical bit about the Salem witch trials were omitted completely; instead, the curse was placed by a townswoman who'd been the spurned lover of one of the teens' ancestors.  Additionally, the book had a much neater, happier ending (if you could call it that).  Personally, I enjoyed the campy horror and the artistic license which was taken by the movie creators much more.  While the movie does have some scenes which may be somewhat frightening to younger kids, I'd say that most kids over eleven or twelve would probably be just fine watching this fun film.

This movie usually plays during the Halloween season, but can occasionally be seen on Lifetime Movie Network on a regular basis.  Check Lifetime's I've Been Waiting For You official site to see when this movie airs next!

Thanks to Jason Pier in DC for sharing his photo under Creative Commons!  Public domain elements have been added to the original. :)

Dealing With a Narcissist?

This is a term that we tend to throw around casually in ordinary conversation.  Most of us know that a narcissist is a needy, self-absorbed person who often uses others for his or her own ends.  But do you know the criteria for true narcissism?  Check the list below and see which of the following qualities fits the profile of the person on your mind.  If you can answer "yes" to 5 or more of the following, then chances are good that your subject may very well be a narcissist.  In the past, the going rate for narcissism was about 11% of the population.  However, some reports (such as this one and this one) state that the rise of narcissism is something of a new epidemic, with numbers as high as 30% among the younger population.  Interestingly enough, this narcissism isn't a good predictor of life success -- in fact, people with empathy and the ability to focus on others are often much more successful in life than their narcissistic counterparts.

The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of the following:
1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Why Didn't My Love Spell Work?

Spells are essentially prayers or wishes. There are as many spells in existence as there are goals, wishes, and desires. Some of the more common desires that people do spellwork for involve finaces or health, but the most popular spell out there is still the old-fashioned love spell. Many folks swear by their own spellwork, or that of someone else. However, there are still some people out there who may try a hand at spellwork without yielding the desired results.

Why, then, do some spells work perfectly, while others fizzle and fail entirely?  There are many reasons why your spell may not have been so effective.

To understand the most basic reason, you must first understand what spellwork is.  In its most basic definition, spellwork is about concentrating your spiritual energy and focusing it on a particular goal.  Just like a prayer or a wish, a spell requires focus and concentration.   If you are unable to devote the right amount of focus to your spellwork, then its efficacy of the spell will be compromised.  Concentration and focus are vital when doing any sort of spellwork.

Another issue in the effectiveness of one's spells is the materials which are being used.  It is important to try following each instruction as carefully as possible, and to supply the right ingredients for each spell.  In some cases, you may not have the access to every ingredient that is requested in the spell you are using.  Sometimes certain articles can be substituted, and sometimes not.  It also depends on the practitioner; what works really well for one person might not work as well for another.  You need to learn what works for you.

It is also important to understand that someone who is new to spellwork will not have the same results as a seasoned practicioner.  Newbies might feel that casting a spell for personal gain might be an easy shortcut to getting what they want.  However, simply downloading a spell from the internet and following the instructions is not always going to be sufficient.  Experience can help even a weak spell have more powerful results.  If you're not that experienced with spells and you haven't gotten the results that you're seeking, don't give up.  The experience that you gain from your failures will help you to learn what works for you, as well as what doesn't.

Negative energy can also make even the most well-intentioned spell fizzle instead of sizzle.  If you are unable to believe in your own abilities, then why would the universe take this spell seriously?  Faith is a key ingredient to productive spellwork.  Having negativity surround you can also have a serious impact on the efficacy of your spiritual workings as well.  Make sure you keep positive and supportive people around you during this time.  If your spell is to get rid of negative energy, such as in a cleansing spell, you must try your hardest to have faith that the work will be productive.

Patience is also a vital component to successful spellwork.  Some people will do spells, expecting miraculous overnight results.  While this may be the case in movies or books, real magickal work takes time to manifest your desired outcome.  In fact, sometimes it can take years!  If something is worth all of the trouble of concentration, positivity, diligence, and faith, it is also worth the patience to see this situation play out to the end.  Sometimes, you don't get exactly what you'd expected; in time, you will get what is best for you, which in many cases can surpass even your most ardent wishes and expectations.  Help the universe to answer your request by working toward this goal as best as you can, while being open-minded and patient.  The results can be well worth it.

The bottom line about spellwork is that it's complicated.  Every person's ability is different, and as with most things in life, your results will vary.  However, you are likely to see more results when you make the effort and be persistent.  Keep trying, and you may see wonderful things develop!

Aura Patterns and You

The auras of most people can be broken down into one of four categories -- yours may be part of one, or several at once.  Auras are as distinct as the people who possess them, and every single one is different!

1.  Glowing auras.  These tend to be one or two basic colors, or shades of the same color throughout the aura.  There may be large or small spots of a contrasting color interspersed throughout the background.  This aura seems to glow and simmer with a mystical, smouldering energy.  People with this type of aura tend to be passionate, creative, and are often looking for new and unusual ways to complete goals.  On the flip-side, they can often be impatient and have a tendency to jump to conclusions without having all the facts first.  The dynamic glowing aura corresponds to the element of fire signifying our creative life forces, passion, and sexuality.

2.  The smoky aura.  This one can be made up of similar shades, or completely different ones.  You will notice that it is hazy and foggy with either opaque or transparent clouds.  The colors often mix with one another and can seem rather indefinite.  Smoky aura people are often adaptable when the situation calls for it, and intelligent in their own ways (not always the conventional ones), but are prone to have trouble concentrating and focusing.  The smoky aura corresponds to the element of air, which pertains to our intellectual pursuits and higher thinking.

3.  Sparkling auras.  A sparkler tends to have one base color with tiny bits of color (or sparkles) spotting it.  This is similar to a glowing aura, though the spots are smaller, which gives it a shimmery or sparkly appearance.  People with sparkling auras tend to be very good at coping with practical problems.  They are often good at providing a stable center for those around them.  They are also persistent, and willing to work for what they feel is important.  Their negative qualities center around fear of loss or stubborrness in the face of change, but they are strong people who can weather even the toughest of storms.  Sparking auras correspond to the earth element, which has a special link to the physical and tangible.

4.  The banded aura.  Also called a striped, ribboned, or streaked aura, this pattern is an interesting one.  Streaks and bands, of varying thicknesses and directions, can be seen throughout the aura in complimentary or contrasting shades. Those who possess this pattern within their auras tend to be very emotional, nuturing, and inuitive.  Negative aspects of the banded aura include a tendency toward depression, obsession, self-absorption and worry.  The pattern itself corresponds to the element of water, which rules the emotions and inner world.

You may want to try some aura polishing techniques in order to help yourself feel better when you're in need of a change in your life.

A Quick Guide to Using Gems

Since the beginning of recorded civilizations, people have been using crystals to heal and destress.  We can still get the benefits of crystal therapy today -- this is, of course, best when done in conjunction with modern medicine.


Stones of specific colors are used to help specific ailments.  For example stones which are red, orange, and yellow, are thought to produce energy vibrations.  Crystals in cooler colors, such as blues and greens, are reputed to give the user a more relaxing and peaceful effect.  Clear stones and neutral colors are frequently used for healing as well.  You can combine your favorite crystals to make a customized healing regimen just for you!

Here are a few of the most common crystals, along with their reputed abilities.  Choose which ones are right for you and give yourself a tailor-made crystal therapy treatment.


Amethysts:  Good for enhancing patience and alleviating anger or stress.

Aquamarine:  Supposed to be good for the heart, helpful with communication and beneficial for the immune system as well.

Carnelian:  This lovely red stone is just right for cleansing your system of toxins; it works well on your kidneys and circulatory system.  Carnelian is also good for emotional and physical passions, great for enhancing confidence and determination.

Citrine:  Try this one for digestive issues like heartburn or allergies to something you ate.  It's another good detox stone as well, for the intestines or bladder, as well as the liver and kidneys.  This stone is also prized for clear thinking, enhancing one's positivity and willpower.

Coral:  Helps with bone disorders, particularly that of the spine.  It can also help speed up muscle and tissue repair.  Coral is also great for an enhancement of already positive emotions.

Diamond:  Long prized for its beauty and durability, diamonds are said to help reproductive issues.  A diamond can also make you seem more trustworthy to those who are suspicious of others.  They can enhance clarity of thought and also help you strengthen positivity (yours and others').

Emerald:  Wonderful for the lungs and other respiratory functions.  Also a good choice to help you relax and rest, as well as to lessen female complaints.

Jade:  For general longevity, as well as a spiritual and emotional stabilizer.  Jade can also help with the memory and knowledge retention.  It is also reputed to be an abundance stone.

Lapis:  Another great de-stressor that also promotes learning and creative tendencies while reducing fear and anxiety.  This is especially good for people with social anxiety, insomnia, or those who are seeking to expand their intuitive abilities.

Malachite:  This one tames a multitude of beasts; it's a wonderful choice to block or neutralize anger, negativity, or sadness.  It can also put out the fires of inflammatory pain.

Ruby:  Where there are blood disorders, seek a ruby to alleviate them -- enhances the circulatory system, helps blood clots or women's monthly cycles.

Sapphires:  Another great calming and "dreamy" stone to help you become more intuitive.  They can also help inflammation and fevers.

The Meaning of a Red Aura

Red is the hottest, most fiery shade of the spectrum. Corresponding to the element of fire and the Root chakra, it is a hue of passion, sexuality, and creativity.

People with a red aura, regardless of the shade of red or the amount of red within the aura, tend to be passionate and emotional people. They also have much creativity and innovation to offer the world, and thrive in arenas where making and producing are at the forefront. Red aura bearers are also often aggressive and opinionated -- sometimes for good, and sometimes for bad.

Brighter reds tend to be seen in people with higher levels of aggression, and the brighter the red, the more anger is being harbored by the aura bearer. This may be a temporary flash in the aura, but if a bright red color is a more permanent fixture, this person may need to learn how to relax or address the source of his or her anger.  Sometimes aura polishing techniques can help to soothe the burn.  Each aura is unique, and different things may work for various aura colors and aura patterns.  Go with your instincts!

The crimson aura, which is one of the darkest red shades, is a good representative of the versatility of a red aura. Creativity and innovative thinking are paramount in this aura shade.

Burgundy is another very dark, and very creative aura hue. People with a burgundy aura after often very tenacious and able to see difficult situations to the end.

Maroon is a brownish red shade with a deep, dark hue. Like most red-hued aura bearers, people with a maroon aura have a great deal of personal power; however, the brownish cast also helps this aura bearer stay grounded and self-disciplined.

Scarlet is a deep, but vivid red. This can indicate someone who is very confident thinks very highly of him- or herself.

Cinnabar or vermilion auras tend to be brighter and more positive red aura bearers, with a lighter and more artistic personality. They can also be highly charismatic.

People with a magenta aura tend to be seeking new horizons in their life, looking for change and improvement. They often wish to better themselves in body, mind, or personal circumstance.

Meditative Hypnosis for Spirit Guides & Angels

While I am not necessarily a firm believer in angels or spirit guides in a literal sense, I can't help but wonder if there are other beings out there who are looking out for our best interests -- helpful souls, perhaps of those who have passed on, those who love us.  Spirit guides are also a popular interest among my friends; recently I've read a few articles on using hypnosis as a tool to get in touch with those guardians.

The first option is to seek a spiritual hypnotist who can help you get in touch with your angels and guides.  Hypnosis is not the way it has been portrayed in movies -- it will not make you strip down and run into the K-Mart next door buck naked -- well, not unless that's your natural inclination.  Hypnosis does not force you to do things; it merely lowers your inhibitions.  You cannot be hypnotized into doing things that aren't in your true nature.  (However, you should find a hypnotist that you trust.)  Hypnosis is more like going into a meditative trance and using your imagination to open yourself up to new experiences; much like a good book or interesting movie that absorbs you until you feel that you're a part of it.  You can deepen that level of involvement and participate as much or as little as you like.

Another idea is to book time with a psychic reader whose expertise includes reading spirit guides.  Often, these mediums can recognize and pinpoint details about your guardians -- possibly physical appearance, energy signature, thoughts or feelings.

Regardless of how you choose to get in touch with your angels and guides, the most important thing to remember is that your guardians care for you, and they have your well-being in the center of their hearts.  If you request help or guidance to bolster you along your life journey, you will receive answers.  The trick is to be open, and be willing to give and receive communication with them.

The Meaning of an Orange Aura

Orange is a warm but fiery color within the aura spectrum. It combines the passion of red and the light optimism of yellow. Corresponding to the elements of fire and earth, and to the Sacral chakra, it is a hue of sensuality, positivity, and innovation.

People with an orange aura, regardless of the shade of orange or the amount of within the aura, tend to be positive, loyal people who enjoy making a difference in the world. Often they are brave and willing to go to the mat for the people that they love. On the negative side, however, they can also have a tendency to be gullible and to have trouble following through with all of the promises that they make.

Peach is one of the lightest in the orange family. This lovely light shade, when present in an aura, can indicate a talent for communicating ideas and thoughts to the people around the bearer. This aura is often seen in teachers and public speakers.

Tangerine is a bright, vivid orange which represents a strong motivation to achieve one's goals. This high level of inspiration can also serve as a source of motivation to others, provided that the aura bearer is also a good communicator or organizer.

Pumpkin orange, which is a medium orange hue, is a good balance of red's aggression and yellow's light touch. A pumpkin orange aura often represents self-discipline and a good head for small details. This person can often do well in leadership or management roles.

Burnt orange as an aura color indicates ambition and a need for change in occupation or station. Because of the brown elements within this shade, there can also be a tendency toward practicality, and on the negative side, selfishness.

An amber aura is seen as one of the more quintessential orange aura shades. There is a clarity of vision and understanding associated with it, as well as bravery and inner strength.

People with raw sienna auras tend to have the motivation of a fiery red aura bearer, but difficulty following through with their plans. They also have hindrances in communicating their thoughts or ideas. However, these issues can often be corrected.  You may want to try some aura polishing techniques in order to get things moving again!

Every aura is different, and different things may work for various aura colors and aura patterns.  Do what feels right for you!

Mystical Properties of Ruby

The ruby has a long and fascinating history. Nicknamed the "King of Gems," the ruby is the birthstone of July.  The word "ruby" iteself comes from the Latin word "ruber," which means "red."  Ruby is a 9 on the Mohs scale, making it very hard and strong.  Along with emeralds, diamonds, and sapphires, the ruby is considered one of the most precious stones on earth.

While a ruby can range in color from the deepest crimson all the way to lighter pink shades, the darker reds tend to be the rarest and most valuable.  In fact, the rarity of a quality ruby with that sought-after dark red color is so rare that it can often be worth more than a diamond of the same size.

Throughout history, rubies have been revered for their mystical properties.  Healing qualities include treatment for blood disorders, or heart problems.  It has also been thought to aid digestion and to provide extra energy to the wearer.  It is a wonderfully curative, protecting stone; warriors would wear ruby jewelry when going off to battle, and women would keep rubies nearby during childbirth.

If you're looking to buy ruby jewelry, the most important thing to keep in mind is the quality of the stone.  Remember that size isn't as important as the quality and color of the ruby.  Seek out deep, dark red shades.  Also, realize that most stones have inclusions, but in my opinion, this only makes your ruby more interesting and unique.  What is important, however, is the cut -- your crystal should be cut so that its brilliance and beauty are maximized.  Be sure to carefully inspect your ruby to make sure that there aren't any small scratches or chips.  Some people prefer synthetic lab-created gemstones for their beauty and affordability; if you're interested in something pretty to wear, feel free to go down this road.  However, a ruby that occurs in nature is going to be a better choice for its natural power and authenticity.

Rubies have amazing spiritual properties!

When Will He Call Me? Why Isn't He Calling?

As a professional psychic and spiritual life coach, I am contacted almost daily by women who ask me heartbreaking questions: "Why won't he call me? When will he contact me again?" It's often about someone who may have shared only a brief connection with her, such as a man that she has recently met. However, this question is asked about an ex with whom she shared her life, someone of whom she has trouble letting go. I can always sense the pain and wistful sorrow of someone who needs the answer to this question. And, while sometimes I can see the man in question picking up the phone or running into the querent again sometime in the future, very often I don't sense any pending form of contact. It kills me to tell her that the phone won't be ringing anytime soon, but I do have to be honest in situations like that, no matter how hard it is for her to hear the truth.

Why, then, would someone be hung up on this lack of communication? Some women will hold out the hope of a love who will return for weeks, months, or even years. I've heard from quite a few who are unable to move on with their lives, always in limbo, always waiting for him. If you're waiting for contact from someone where none seems to be forthcoming, please know that there are millions of people out there who feel your pain, and have gone through it before. There are many reasons why the contact won't come. Often, it is best to acknowledge these reasons so that you can move on with your own life. Here are a few of the most common realities that we may need to understand:  the reality of these reasons can be harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts!

1. He has already moved on with his life -- or wants to. In each relationship, there is always one person who is able to carry onward faster and easier than the other. Both people may be able to do it with relative ease, but someone always has to be "first" with that. Perhaps, in your case, he simply requires less grieving time. Or in the reverse, maybe he'd rather not re-open old wounds which he is struggling to heal. At any rate, calling you would seem counter productive in this case; he may still care for you, however contact with you is simply not on the list of things to do if he'd like to heal and get on with the business of living.

2. He is afraid. If the relationship ended on bad terms regardless of who is at fault, perhaps he realizes that there is still a lot of anger, bitterness, or resentment. Since the relationship is over, he doesn't see a need to call and rehash old issues that have already been set in stone. This is especially true if he was the cause of this break in your relationship. Think of it this way: If you hurt or betrayed someone, would you really want to contact them again just to see how they're doing? Females are more often inclined to answer this question with a "yes," because we tend to need closure and approval in ways that men do not. Many males would simply prefer to avoid any further messiness once they've been spattered with a bit of someone else's emotions. And if you're already broken up, he just doesn't see the point in putting himself through the emotional wringer again.

3. He is angry or hurt. If you were the one who initiated the argument or breakup, you can bet that his ego will be smarting for some time to come. There may be some residual annoyance, resentment, or embarrassment left over from the break. This type of wounded pride will produce a great deal of reluctance to speak with you again. Even the strongest people are capable of succumbing to such vulnerabilities. If he was the person who initiated the breakup, he may still be harboring pain or resentment, in which case, he is simply not interested in rekindling any sort of communication with you.

4. He has other irons in the fire. Regardless of whether he's moved on from you with ease, or is still secretly pining away, it is entirely possible that he has found someone new. Perhaps he's deeply in love with this new person, perhaps he's just found someone fun with whom he can enjoy whiling away some time. Either way, if a man is getting his needs met by another woman, then it's very likely that he just doesn't feel a need to speak with you anymore. Or, even if he is a more sensitive type who does still care for you -- or even still holds a torch for you -- if he's with a new woman, communicating with you would be inappropriate. After all, would you be OK with your new lover calling his ex on a regular basis?

5. He is waiting to hear from you. We've already discussed cases where the anger, resentment, or rejection are serious enough to keep him away. But in some of those cases, your ex might be hoping that you're the one to initiate contact. If he's afraid of your anger, picking up the phone to say "No hard feelings," would be a step in the right direction. If he's still hurting or carrying his own resentment about the breakup, he may still be silently hoping for some type of closure. In a case like that, perhaps a well-written letter or email would assist him in making this transition.

No matter why the relationship ended, or how the other party is feeling, you must remember that not all people are meant to be permanent fixtures in our lives. Sometimes when fate brings people into one another's lives, they are destined to spend only a finite amount of time together. The most important thing is to enjoy those who love you for as long as they are near, and to accept a parting of the ways with grace and dignity. A new love may be just around the corner; if you focus too much on your past, you may very well miss the wonderful opportunities that will present themselves to you in the future.

The Real Story Behind Lifetime's Movie, 'Obsessed'

Jenna Elfman plays Ellena Roberts in Obsessed.

Maybe a New Age blogger shouldn't necessarily post reviews or recommendations of movies, but I love what people call "bad" Lifetime movies!  Because so much of the counselling I do involves relationships, I find that something, no matter how small, can be learned from even the silliest plot.

Obsessed is one of my favorite Lifetime movies.  It was released in 2002 and stars Jenna Elfman as the sexy and lovely (but totally bonkers) Ellena Roberts, who stalks her victim-slash-love interest, Dr. David Stillman, a famous surgeon with a happy marriage and family.  Her obsession for this man eventually crosses the line from fantasy into a warped reality when Ellena's harrassment of Dr. Stillman becomes out of control.  Eventually, the harrassment evolves into criminal activity.  Ellena suffers from a form of mental illness called erotomania, wherein the patient truly believes that he or she is romantically involved with someone when in actuality, they are not involved.

Ellena has many tricks to stalk her doctor, including guile and manipulation, impersonation of friends and relatives, even getting jobs which grant her access to private information about Dr. Stillman and his family.  Her insanity is surpassed only by her intelligence and craftiness: during her harassment trial, a court-appointed analyst (played by Vlasta Vrana) pointed psychiatrist declared her to have "seven of the ten traits of an assassin."  This movie has lots of fascinating twists and turns of the plot, making it a riveting story.  It's a guilty pleasure, but it's too good to miss!

Fun fact:  This movie was based on a true story.  Diane Schaefer is the actual person on whom the character of Ellena Roberts was based.  Diane Schaefer stalked Dr. Murray Brennan, an oncologist from Sloan-Kettering Hospital in NYC for years before her conviction in 1990.  She was sentenced to 2 years in prison.  The lawyer who defended Schaefer, Joyce David, has put the movie-inspiring article on her website.

There is also a French movie called "À la Folie... Pas du Tout" (He Loves Me... He Loves Me Not) which features a similar plot.  I'm not sure if this is a remake or just coincidence.

You can also find out when Obsessed is playing on TV by going to its website on Lifetime.

So, who loves this movie?  Lifetime movies based on true stories are the best, and Obsessed is one of my personal faves!  Leave some comments below! :)

Tarot Love Reading

This week, I was hired to do an online tarot reading.  Like many of my clients, this one was curious about an ex with whom she was considering a reconciliation.  I was sensing that while the difficulties that the two of them had in the relationship weren't horribly destructive, her ex still had a bit of growing up to do.  My intuition was saying that he still needed some time before he'd be ready to give her what she needs, but this is a woman who is strong and impressive in her own right.  The reading itself is probably of little interest to my readers, but I wanted to post it here for posterity.  It's not too often that I get to *write* a reading for someone -- usually I just tell them what I see!

The spread that I used was the classic Celtic cross.  The deck is called "The Universal Tarot Deck," which is basically a classic Rider-Waite deck with more vivid, updated colors and details.  I really love this little deck when I do readings for clients -- the cards are a nice compact size, and they come in a cute little box.  They feel wonderful in my hand, and the updated version on an old classic has made me pay attention to those little aspects of the Rider-Waite that I'd never really noticed before.  I highly recommend this great deck for beginners and experts alike!




1. Your current situation. I drew "The Empress." When considering your question, I would interpret this to mean that you're extremely creative, nurturing, and strong -- especially where relationships are concerned. You're the kind of woman who can take care of her man, but you also have strength in your own right. You need a guy who's going to be able to match this strength, and respect your independence as well.

2. What's "crossing" you. 9 of Wands. This card gave me a sense of positivity, and perhaps some over-optimism. While it's very important to have a positive outlook and lots of hopes in dealing with your relationship, it's also important to keep your feet firmly on the ground. A lot of times, we want someone just because we can't have them -- this isn't necessarily the case with you, but you need to guard against that part of yourself which is forgetting the hardest parts of your relationship. Unless the issues surrounding your breakup are resolved, then you and this guy are doomed to repeat the same mistakes!

3. Your past. 4 of Wands. When I see this card in the "past," I often think of good experiences, and success after a tough struggle. It can also indicate being reunited with someone after an absence. I know that the two of you have broken up, and you're considering another try -- this card shows that your relationship did have its peaks and valleys. The tumultuous nature was exciting -- the arguing was draining, but the making up was amazing. It's understandable that you miss that connection with him!

4. What's beneath you. 6 of Wands. This card represents the qualities that you possess, which you'll need most in order to resolve this situation. The 6 of Wands speaks of a strong determination (notice the soldier marching into battle). It shows determination; once you have your mind made up to do something, nothing is going to stop you from achieving it.

5. What's above you. 8 of Cups. When a card is above you, it means that this is one of the aspects of your life which you need to start thinking about -- doesn't mean you need to address it immediately, but know that it will be appearing on the horizon. The 8 of Cups, as you may guess from the picture, is about moving on with your life. (Cups is often about emotional well-being, relationships, and love -- so it's very interesting you'd have this here!)There is a risk involved with this card, because you will be venturing into unknown territory. This can be extremely scary for some people, and they will put it off as long as they possibly can. But, remember, as the "Empress," and with the 6 of Wands beneath you, I feel you have a LOT of courage and tenacity. You can definitely succeed in this, and you're sensitive enough to changes to work them out and grow from them.

6. Short-term future. 9 of Cups. Again, cups is about emotional well-being and relationships. The 9 is one of the best that you can get -- in this placement, it represents good health, happiness, and positivity -- as well as a BIT of a proud streak! I see a streak of good luck coming up your way, and if anyone deserves to brag a little, it's you. :)

7. Hopes. Knight of Cups. When I see a knight, I think it as being something you need to act upon. Each knight suggests different ways to handle an area where you need to take action -- this one is not moving quickly, but is instead stopping and contemplating his next move. In this placement, and considering the question you asked, it also means that your wish for a reunion are very solid, but this time you've learned your lessons through the past -- you should definitely take things slow!

8. Fears. 10 of Wands. Like the picture of this card, the 10 of Wands addresses the heavy burdens in your life. Your worries about your relationship (and I sense, a lot of other aspects of you life) center around the fear that there will be too many problems, or that the problems come too quickly, for you to handle. However, this isn't likely to happen. Again, with the strength of the Empress, you have a lot more strength than you give yourself credit for. And this card also represents that although you may struggle under the weight of the occasional heavy burden, it will never be more than you can carry.

9. Family opinion. 9 of Wands (Wow, you had a lot of wands!) This placement can be either your biological family, your close friends, or people that you live and work around regularly. From this card, I would sense that some of the folks in your life have some reservations about you reuniting with your ex. I know that I told you before, he isn't a bad guy, but he does have some growing up to do. Unfortunately, because of the past problems you have had, people who are close to you don't always see him favorably. Plenty of them think that you deserve to be with someone with less issues, or at least someone who will prioritize you over other things which may be less significant. (Please keep in mind that their opinions aren't always right, this is just how they feel!)

10. Final outcome. Ace of Swords. This placement is the culmination of all the other cards. I see this as a beginning, but not a beginning that starts off quickly or easily. In fact, just the opposite -- there will be lots of challenges in the next phase of your life, particularly where the subject of your question is concerned! From this, I would say that your relationship with him could be quite strained, and if the two of you chose to continue the relationship, there will be plenty of things that have to be addressed. However, since you do have the strength and also the practical hopes in position #7 (Knight of Cups, who wants to go slowly and carefully) I sense that you have the willingness to see it through and try to work on the issues.

11. Any other information? I always pick an extra card when I lay these out, just to see what else I can find out when someone asks me a question. (It's not part of a typical Celtic spread, it's my own twist!) You got the Wheel of Fortune card. It's one of my favorite cards, because it refers to the way that life goes in cycles and that you can find patterns wherever you look. Paying attention to these patterns can help you learn how to address bad situations when or if they come around again; or to notice the good things sooner so that you can maximize their impact on your life. It also represents good luck, karma, and blessings -- which I sense that you have a lot of in your life. Somehow, you're always able to find your way through a problem, and you have the natural ability to avoid You can use your natural gifts to help other people, as well as to help yourself, which will enable the cycle of love and positivity to continue in your life and those around you. But remember, you want to use your knowledge of the past to avoid problematic issues in the future, so be sure to keep your eyes peeled for signs. :)

Is It Bad to Cast Spells?

People often wonder if spellcasting is bad, evil, or demonic.  Some folks just naturally assume that spell work calls on dark or negative forces.  However, this isn't really correct.  There's a lot more to casting spells.



The first and most important part of determining whether or not spellwork is good or evil is knowing exactly what spellcasting is.  Spells are made up of energy which the caster directs or projects into a specific direction, in order to complete a goal or task.  There are all sorts of energies which can be sent out by a caster, for good or for ill.  In most cases, this energy is all that is directed by the caster, as opposed to the demons or devils which are portrayed in movies and books.

In ancient times, various magickal practices such as voodoo, shamanism, and other forms of sorcery have been practiced by humankind.  Just as in any religion or spiritual belief, there are both light and dark aspects of such practices.  In all forms of religion, there are intentions to help or to hurt, positive and negative parts of all beliefs.  For example: Satanism, which is infamous for its reputation as a dark or evil religion, does use or direct darker energies.  But practicioners of other beliefs, such as Wicca or other forms of Paganism, work under the tenet of "Harm None," and thus will use the powers of good and positive energy only.  Both types of energy are powerful, and neither is more powerful than another one.


It is true that some practicioners do their spellwork on the dark side, projecting negative force or directing dark energy toward a specific target.  Shamans, who can do positive or negative magick, can also project forces out of jealousy, anger, or a wish to possess your spirit or possessions. 

Negative energy can also be projected by everyday people without realizing it, and certainly without casting any spells: most forms of hate, desire for revenge, jealousy, and fear can create negative tension which gathers and creates an overriding feeling of negativity or negative energy.

Just as negativity can be spread by these baser emotions, so can positivity be shared with others.  A smile, a friendly word, sharing one's happiness or good intentions with another person, all of these things can spread positivity as well.  Prayers may be considered another positive form of spellwork, requesting help from a higher power.

Whether you choose to use formal spellwork in your life, remember that the true magic lies within yourself!  Sharing your positivity with others will result in a more positive, wonderful life for yourself and those around you.

Do Angels Really Exist?

Although many people believe in angels, there are plenty of others (myself included) who can't help but wonder if they truly exist.  Angels are messengers of God, whose purpose is to complete certain assignments.  Many people who believe in angels have experienced "divine intervention" at times in their lives when they needed help the most, which makes their faith a reality.

A true "angel" is thought to be a perfect creation of God, specifically crafted to feel the purest love and tender care toward all of God's creations.  Angels have innate senses of ethics and morals, and angels are inherently wise as well.  An angel has a natural understanding of God's will and how God's rules must be applied to other creatures, because this is the way s/he was created.

Angels and their stories are prevalent in many world religions.  When a spiritually devoted person prays, it is an angel's job to hear and carry out God's will in God's stead.  This can come in the form of physical assistance, but often it is in the form of emotional or intellectual inspiration for the devotee.  The person who is in need of help can feel the peace and healing in his or her heart, or will become inspired to find a way out of the problem s/he is contemplating.  Angels can help make those connections for people as well.

I, personally, feel that belief in angels can't possibly hurt, and it may even help.  I do believe that spirits exist in the physical realm.  And my experience with spirits has shown that most entities who have chosen to remain here on Earth are genuinely interested in helping people.  Perhaps these are what some people call "angels."  One thing is for certain, however; you will not be helped if you don't ask!

Mystical Properties of Sunstone/Citrine

Not only are crystals and gems beautiful to look at as we adorn our homes and bodies with them, but they're also wonderful tools to help us focus positive energy, healing us from the inside.  Since the dawn of civilization, crystals and precious or semi-precious stones have been used for their healthful vibrations on our lives, relationships, and our living or workspaces.

Like the dynamic force of the sun, a sunstone crystal can help encourage strength in rising to meet challenges, to inspire leadership, and to strengthen the will of the bearer.  Even better, it is especially powerful when the intentions are meant to benefit a larger group of people rather than for individual fulfillment.  Sunstone can help to generate faith, hope, and positivity.  It is associated with love, prosperity, progress.  Sunstone is a crystal that can help strengthen you emotionally for tough times to come, but also to encapsulate the positivity of happy times and to repel negative energy.  Sunstone can also help you to keep goals and personal standards in mind, so that you're strong enough to reject temptation or to refuse requests which are unreasonable.    It can also help with anxieties and phobias, helping to center and ground you.

Sunstone is a wonderful all-purpose stone, and is an excellent tool to have in your crystal repertoire.  It has many wonderful and helpful properties for those whose lives need a little extra brightening.  It is a type of feldspae, with a Mohs hardness number of around 6; this makes it fairly sturdy, but not extremely hard.  It often occurs in yellows, oranges, and reddish-browns.  The crystal itself is obviously associated with the sun, bringing with it proactive and energetic forces which help to bring about change.  The Sun rules the heart and emotions according to astrological teachings, and sunstone can be utilized to help enhance these within us as well.

Zooming Out: Putting Anxiety and Phobias Into Perspective

Kathy Bates played Jane Stern in "Ambulance Girl."

Since this is the second entry I've written about a Lifetime movie, I've decided to add a new category for them.  Is it silly of me to write about them once in awhile?  Maybe.  But I don't mind sharing it; if I find truth in something, even something as simple as a movie on TV, I like to think about it and share it with all of you.

The movie that I was re-watching was called Ambulance Girl; it starred the amazingly talented Kathy Bates as Jane Stern, a middle-aged, married writer who had been fighting a lifelong battle with anxiety and various phobias.  Jane was afraid of so many things, not the least of which was flying and long car rides.  Her husband, Michael (played by Robin Thomas) was a recovering alcoholic who was also finding his way as a newly sober person.  As her phobias and insecurities began getting worse, Jane made the decision to become an EMT.  You'd think that was a nutty thing for someone who was so deeply stricken with anxiety to do, right?  The idea was that it would help her find a way out of her own mind and focus on other issues.  As an EMT, Jane met new people and learned a lot, including how to deal with her own anxieties.  (I don't want to ruin the plot for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I'll just leave it there.)

I loved this idea.  Sometimes, we're all guilty of becoming obsessed with certain thoughts of principles in our own heads.  It doesn't mean that they aren't meaningful to us, or worthy of some reflection time.  However, when we obsess or fixate on things which may potentially make us unhappy or stressed, we are ignoring the world around us.  We also forget about what is meaningful to those around us -- what makes them happy, afraid, or worried -- and whether we can work with them on those issues.  By taking a step back from our own problems, whether concrete issues or just worries about things that may happen, we are taking control of our own lives.  Zooming out gives us the power to decide if we want our fears to control us, or if we wish to take control of them.  By zooming out, we can also see more of what's going on around us and can therefore get a better sense of perspective.  What results from this is an ability to make better choices and to choose actions which make our lives more positive and fulfilling.

If you're worried about living inside your own head too much, or afraid that you may be obsessing about something that's holding you back, try to replace those feelings with something new.  Try volunteering, or even just helping someone close to you.  Learn more about your anxiety and try to figure out ways to make it less a part of your life.  By zooming out and looking at the big picture in its entirety, you will be doing yourself a great service.  Take control and live the life that you deserve by giving yourself the gift of perspective.

Guardian Angels & Your Pets

I would like to preface this article by thanking FithFath.com for providing access to lovely antique public domain images.  I couldn't find any pictures of animals dressed as angels, but did find and color this lovely bunny from "Alice in Wonderland." The name of the image is "white rabbit," though later I realized that I didn't quite color him the right way -- I realized my silly mistake and felt a little dorky.  Without even thinking about it, I decided to color the bunny brown so he would match my lovely Siamese sable rabbit, Jarvis.  Oh well, he still looks cute anyway!

If you're anything like me, you're an animal lover.  Pets aren't just random living things which inhabit your home, but are actual parts of your family.  I love mine, and in return, I get much love from them.  If they were to become ill or lost, I would be devastated.  I have cared for my rats and bunnies through illnesses, moves, various personal trials and tribulations.  They are a part of me.

Some of my friends have been getting me thinking a lot about guardian angels, or benevolent forces and entities which exist to help us on this earthly plane, in order to make our lives safer and more manageable.  While I have not yet decided if I believe in angels, the concept itself is fascinating to me (hence, so many articles about them here on ConsultTheSage.Com!).  If angels are here to serve us and to protect us from harm, what about our pets?  Can angelic power help them as well?

Over and over again, I have heard that angels are out there and ready to help us at any time -- we only have to ask them.  Apparently, they cannot interfere with our lives unless the situation is dire; but if we voice our needs and wishes, ask the angels directly and out loud, they are honor-bound to do what they can to help us.  

A few years back, my mother had lost one of her two beloved Maltese doggies, whom she'd had for years.  My mother's dogs are pure-bred Maltese, and so spoiled that they have their own bedroom (and little beds!) at home.  These dogs are like my mother's extra children -- they provided comfort and comic relief to all comers when her husband was struggling with lung cancer; and after he was gone, their furry presences continued to give her an immense amount of emotional support.  My mother is a steadfast believer in angelic presences, and when her dog was missing, it was only natural that she would ask help from every departed person that she could think of.  When I was a child, she once explained to me that whenever she was in trouble, she would ask her late mother for assistance.  "After praying to God, I always ask her for help too, because she's my mother!  If there's anything she's able to do to help me, I know she'll try to."  Makes sense, right?  Eventually, my mother's dog did return home, but not after a very long and adventurous journey.  How her very pampered little dog was able to survive on his own for as long as he did remains a mystery.  

I do believe that fate is involved with animals and how they cross our paths.  I've seen this enough times in my own life.  Many of my pets seem to have been placed into my life by a divine presence, a knowing entity who understood how seriously I commit to my pets.  I have had pets who were very difficult to care for; disabled, very ill, or with behavior issues that I needed to work with.  I know that very few people would have the patience to deal with some of these little ones.  But somehow or another, I have always been drawn to specific pets or chose just the right time when they were available. It's a double-sided process, though, and we are able to love and heal one another.

If you're looking to aquire a new pet (and please adopt a pet instead of buying one!), check the internet for ideas first.  Educate yourself about the animal's care, then start browsing available animals.  See if your guardian angel can guide you toward a certain animal -- if you feel a "spark," you're on the right track!  Sometimes that "spark" may lead you to a pet who has already been adopted, but that's OK.  Perhaps there's someone else nearby that you've just been led toward.  This has happened to me several times.  I like to keep my eyes and heart open for important signs.

Sometimes pets can get sick.  Obviously, anyone would be concerned and stressed when this happens.  Don't be afraid to verbalize your need for help to your guardian angel.  Even if you know little about your protective entities, say the request out loud -- just ask "(Spirits, angelic presences, or name a relative that you know would love to help you): will you please do what you can to help my sick (dog, cat, bunny, etc.) recover from this illness?"  Do your homework, find a great vet (one who specializes in your type of animal!), and have faith.  Some illnesses are easy to treat, and some much more difficult.  However, it doesn't hurt to ask for help.  Even when your pet is just going for a routine checkup, you can request help from your guardian angel to make the visit smooth and easy, and to cause as little stress as possible for your little one.

The Beauty & Mystery of Agate

 Agate is a lovely type of crystal with a smooth sheen; it is part of the quartz family.  It occurs naturally in North America, as well as Australia, Morocco, and some South American countries.  Many different types of agate exist, and quite a few of them feature multiple layers of color.  Agate is often a bit opaque and can be found in a stunning array of shades -- red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, brown, pink, white, grey, and more.

As with many types of crystal, agate has its own special healing properties to improve the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of its users.  It is often used for relaxation and balance, to ground and provide tranquility to its owner.  Agate is also useful for improvement of logic skills, eyesight, to bring hidden abilities to the forefront, and promote agility.  It can also be used for pain relief, and can promote healing of the lymphatic, circulatory, and respiratory systems.  Agate can also promote good digestion and a healthy appetite.

Each color of agate has its own specific healing abilities as well:

Fire agate is a gorgeous multicolored stone that often features reds, yellows, and browns prominently.  It can enhance the user's natural sense of courage and alleviate fear and anxiety.  This type of agate is also helpful to enhance psychic abilities, blood circulation, and the nervous system.  It can also aid in digestive issues.

Rose agate is an excellent choice for soothing wounded emotions.  It can promote forgiveness and healing of a wounded soul.  It is said to enhance the owner's capacity for love and caring.

Botswana agate is an amazing type of agate streaked with white and many shades of grey, sometimes brown and pale blues as well.  It is said to promote physical virility as well as fertility and passion, inspiration to artists, emotional peace and protection.

Moss agate is named for its mossy green and white speckled appearance.  It evokes associations with nature and freedom.  Moss agate is thought to help with health issues such as skin problems, inflammation, and infections.  It can also help the owner feel less emotionally trapped and promote a sense of freedom.

Lace agate has a delicate blue color range.  We often associate it with positive thinking, happiness, and relaxation.  It can be used to help calm stressful situations where emotions run high, or to cleanse the user of negativity and promote optimistic feelings.  Physically, it is said to be good for joint health and flexibility, thyroid issues, fever, inflammation, and trouble with the neck and shoulders.

Violet agate is another excellent choice for fertility help.  It is thought to be especially useful to women who are pregnant or trying to become pregnant; violet agate can also be used to lessen the pain and problems of childbirth.  Additionally, it can be good for helping promote feelings of empathy and understanding between people.  

Brown agate comes in all types of rusty red and brown shades; everything from coffee to caramel!  It's an excellent choice to promote digestive health.  It can also be used to enhance the workings of the liver and pancreas.  Brown agate can also work to help pets and other animals, as well as to ground and stabilize the user.

White agate is an excellent all-purpose type of stone,  but most specifically it can be helpful in assisting the body in expelling toxins and promote regenerative healing.  Spiritually it does much the same thing, helping to clear the mind and soul of negativity and to enhance one's ability to not only think with clarity, but also to learn and develop further abilities faster and with greater ease.

Is He Still Faithful?

I recently came across a vintage article which was called "Is He Still Faithful?" and the content of it was so fascinating that I just had to share it with all of you.  I believe that this is from the 1940s or 1950s, and would love to find more vintage things to share with you all! :)  Someday soon I will be posting my rebuttal to this article (and believe me, I have PLENTY to say!)... but for now, here it is as it was originally written.  I cleaned up the original image a bit so that you can see it more clearly, but I'm also posting the text inside the image here, for those of you who are reading from your mobile phone or browsers that aren't always polite. :)  Enjoy!



Is He Still Faithful?

by Nancy Hale

There is probably no shock as severe as to find out that the man you love has been unfaithful to you. It may also be a blow to discover that in nine out of ten cases it was you and not the other woman who caused him to stray. Yes, you, from the moment you met him, through your courtship and down the years of your marriage.

Insure yourself against future infidelity by being honest with yourself from the very beginning. Take a second look with 3D glasses. His personality must be as pleasing to you as his appearance. Do you admire his good points and overlook his bad ones? Above all, is he the man you really want and does he want you?

During your courtship, make sure that your future plans are well talked over, right down to how many children you expect to have and when. Understand the kind of life you will have together before you jump into it. Don't overlook certain annoyances and hope to make him over after the ceremony. If there's any making over to do, it'll have to be in your department and then be sure it's worth it and go to it.

Play fair with him, too. Don't pretend to be a busy little home bee when you crave excitement and gay places. You can look forward to unfaithfulness if you've pretended to be a social butterfly when in reality you're afraid to meet people.

Be conscious at all times of what can happen to your marriage if you don't work at it. The bride who feels that she has caught her man cannot afford to relax. She must now prove that she can manage a home, cook appetizing meals, and still look like a cover girl, mornings as well as after dark.

The bride, no longer a "date," must be interested in her husband's business and in their financial future. She will not be jealous of childish about associations which will help to further his success, be they men or women. She will live within her means, not begrudging a friend her new coat or car, never throwing her husband's inadequacies in his face.

As your marriage progresses, you will be constantly aware that faithfulness is as much your doing as your husband's. Have you turned into a nagger or a whiner? Are you inconsiderate or discourteous? Do your children come before your husband? Or have you simply failed to grow along with your marriage? Tge woman who has nothing to talk about but the mundane happenings of the day or the gossip of the neighborhood is inviting trouble. Develop a hobby. Get into community affairs and don't let your marriage grow stale. You'll be the "last to know" for sure if you've let yourself go mentally as well as physically.

Yes, keeping her man faithful is a woman's work, and it starts with that first this-is-for-keeps-date, but you can always make a fresh start, even after a painful experience of unfaithfulness.

Don't rush for a gun or the divorce courts the moment you suspect foul play. Men are seldom deeply involved emotionally with "other women." In a crisis, almost all will come running back to choose their own wives or sweethearts. 

Sex Goddess Lesson #2: The Basics of Sensuality

Actress Yvonne Mitchell knew the importance of pampering oneself!

The next step in transforming yourself into a goddess of sensuality is to simply allow yourself some of life's more sensual pleasures. I'm not talking necessarily about sex (though, of course, that is one of those pleasures!)... it can be simply anything that you enjoy seeing, feeling, smelling, tasting, or hearing. Relish some fine music, a gorgeous view. Set the table with your "good" dishes, cook or order a fine meal, dress up and be a wonderful hostess to the most important guest you'll ever serve -- YOU!

Spoil yourself rotten from time to time! You have already dressed to impress yourself, so now it's time to pamper and please yourself. If a quiet meal at home isn't your thing, try going out for a one-person date. See a movie, get a wonderful dinner, go shopping. This is the time to give yourself whatever it is that you desire; while this may or may not involve something sexy, it should involve giving yourself pleasure and enjoyment. Don't wait for someone else to treat you the way you wish -- do it for yourself. Give yourself permission to have what you desire -- take what you want. Having that power, seizing it and using it will make you feel very special. Remember that a woman who takes what she wants and who savors every morsel of life is a hot woman! And please note that this isn't about spending money or going into debt; spoiling yourself can be as simple as splurging on the $5 shampoo and conditioner if you're used to buying something cheaper at your local dollar store. If you have a few extra dollars that you can spend without hurting yourself, by all means, treat yourself. But if not, there are zillions of ways that you can enjoy yourself without spending any more than you usually do. Invest the time and consideration in yourself instead. It will make you feel great, and that positive pleasure-seeking attitude will enhance your overall appeal.

Are You Dealing With a Sociopath?

Approximately 1% to 4% of the population is afflicted with sociopathic tendencies.  These traits are often inherited, though can be treatable if detected early enough.  However, once a sociopath reaches adulthood, rehabilitation is difficult if not impossible.

Many people interchange terms like sociopath and psychopath.  There is a difference.  While sociopaths have predatory natures, and are often manipulative without guilt or remorse, this doesn't necessarily mean that they are all violent people.  Some may have violent tendencies, but only a very small percentage of violent sociopaths are serial killers.  It is more likely that the sociopath you'll deal with will be a con artist, liar, or master manipulator.  Sociopaths come in all walks of life, social classes, genders, and ages.  They blend into society with little or no effort, and are difficult to spot immediately.


Here are the traits of a sociopath as defined by Dr. Robert Hare, a well-known expert in criminal psychology.


Dr. Hare's Checklist (Sociopathic Traits)

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM -- an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and un empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS -- a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE -- a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

Your Guardian Angel as a Travel Companion

I enjoy travelling quite a bit.  While I'm not your run-of-the-mill globetrotter, I have lived and visited all over the country.  Usually I like to go somewhere interesting a couple times a year; it may be the same New England B&B that I love in the spring or the fall, it may be the same big cities that I haunt on my free time, or it might be somewhere completely new and different. But one thing is certain, and that is that I always love to seek new adventures and things to love in all of my journeys.

We've all had to deal with travelling snafus, however.  Flight delays, bad weather, missing suitcases, forgotten toothbrushes... it all happens to the best of us, no matter how carefully we may plan.  

If you enjoy communicating with your guardian angels, you have to realize that they are always with you.  Doesn't matter if you're at home, on a plane to somewhere exotic and fabulous, or just walking down a lonely road... they watch and listen closely.  Your angel is there to assist you in any way that s/he can.  However, most angels are not capable of serving without being asked, unless it is a life-threatening scenario.  If it's a different sort of problem, you need only ask.

This is super simple!  While you pack, just ask for help in remembering all the stuff that you need.  Or on the way to the airport, simply ask "Angel, I'd like to request a smooth and safe trip to my destination.  Thanks!"  It's important that, just as asking any friend for a favor, you express gratitude for the help you are given.  

Enjoy bringing your spiritual companion on trips with you.  Have fun!